tiaals

[tiaals]

Cherry Waves

    I closed the audio book on my browser and typed in the author's name adding my favorite website that shit talked and gossiped. I wanted truthful opinions on whether this book was good or not. I hadn't picked up a lesbian novel since the most popular erotica novelist kept pairing young sexually liberated 20-somethings with middle-aged straight women.    That's weird... There are no opinions on her book other than someone saying Blood Dragon's sucked. Hmmm, I guess I’ll have to go to goodstudy.com.      “WHAT!!!!” I screamed at the monitor even though it was 1am.    My jaw dropped to the floor. The main character fell in love with the “perfect” man. Denounced her love for her former girlfriend. Who also happens to turn into the main antagonist and a pregnant cheater. See, this is the problem that comes from categorizing lesbian books under sapphic, wlw, LGBTQ or Queer. Without specifically stating what it is, we have no idea what we’re getting into.      I think I speak for all lesbians on this... We don’t want to read about a perceived lesbian falling in love with the “perfect” man. And this author is supposedly a lesbian! Didn’t she grow up with this experience? Why would she want to surprise any lesbians wanting to escape reality with this reality of all realities?!  Shame, shame shame.   I picked my jaw back up off the floor and resumed pursed lips. I’ve been let down by media a lot. So much so that I’ve actually been abstinent from lesbian media for several years now. Is there a conspiracy going on? This is the twenty first century for god’s sake! Why is it that the only media we’re being gifted is Victorian extreme age gaps of jaded spinsters finding love again in nubile naive women or a bisexual woman discovering herself with the help of a patient lesbian (I’m looking at you “heartfelt” Christmas Movie).    “I’m over it! I’m done! I can’t take it anymore.” I whisper under my breath, turning off my computer and getting ready for bed. I anxiously get up from my desk bringing my toothbrush and toothpaste to the bathroom.      There’s a lump in my throat as I inspect my expression in the bathroom mirror. Red bumps begin to form on my neck and cheek. The frustration of involuntary solitary confinement from being newly single has been bubbling up inside me. Is my GERD coming back or am I just depressed? Or is it both...    A deep sigh escapes me, almost making me choke on the toothpaste in my mouth. Great... As I quickly make my way to the bed- I kick the cup of water I put on the floor for Spooky. In frustration I flip off the sky, the cup, my cat and mentally scream.    I close my eyes tightly, pursing my lips as hard as I can and scrunching up my nose. I hold it for a few seconds, stopping when I start to see stars. Flinging off my wet socks I jump into bed with Spooky.    What a cold desolate November night I think solemnly while closing the window.