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when u both have memory prablems 

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tragic. 37 clowns were killed today in a devastating one car pile up.

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CHAPPELL ROAN accepts the Best New Artist award onstage during the 67th Annual GRAMMY Awards (Feb 2, 2025)

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time smells bad.

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↖ this user has drank from the infernal river Lethe, which flows through Hades and brings total oblivion, eradicating all memory and thought

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"im tired of living through major historical events" is now "dear lord please let me witness a high profile political assassination in the next 1-2 years. amen"

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I like to think that Doctor Who from the Master's perspective could be called 'One Man's Quest To Get His Spouse To Come Back Home And Abandon His Massive Ant Colony'. Everything is so much funnier if you picture the Master being absolutely baffled at the Doctor defending Earth, because he's borderline immortal whilst humans die so quickly - killing a human is like stepping on a spider, and the Doctor is the guy who swoops in with a cup and paper to move the spider outside even if the decision seems nonsensical. I like to reframe the Master's attempts to take over the universe as him desperately asking the Doctor "we could get a dog? Or a cat? Or adopt? Are the ants really worth it, you have no other hobbies".

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so i went to the zoo yesterday and saw the cutest family of otters ever

and then i checked their names

they’re all NAmED aftER fOOD

EXCEPT kEVIN

WHY

WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS

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what a beautiful day to remember that trans people of color exist and deserve better

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he’s showin off his big ol tummy :3

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an ornithologist pointed a microphone at a bird sitting alone on a wire and caught the sound of the bird singing a song at a decibel so low that it would be impossible for another bird to hear it, meaning the bird was singing quietly to itself I love life

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how do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber

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So what makes a butcher knife more butch than other knives?

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love that kids are emo again. i love walking into the grocery store or goodwill and seeing some teenage emo kid all decked out walking around with their mom or something

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Doctor Who The Shakespeare Code | 3.02

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what’s the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a pot of glue?