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And I’m only me, where I wanna be, yeah I’m only me when I’m with you (cred)

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THE MAN WITH THE JELLYFISH HAT

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Uric the Oddball or Harry Potter in any way

This was written as a response to the Deathly Hallows fortnight challenge for #HPReadathon2017

There was once an old Ravenclaw by the name of Uric the Oddball. He was of the wisest house, yet he was not wise at all. One day as he went walking along the Welsh coast with his pet Fwooper, a gust of wind took his hat from him. Uric was quite distressed at this, for not only had he attempted to place a Sticking Charm on it which had obviously failed, he was a somewhat vain man who had grown ashamed of his lack of hair. To make matters worse, a storm had started, leaving Uric soaking wet, rain drops racing down his bald head.

It was then that the wizard came across a lifeless jellyfish. It was as blue as the sky and as slimy as a fish. Deciding he had nothing to lose, he picked it up and placed it on his head, where it fit just as well as his hat had done. No longer was the rain landing upon his bald head. Uric cheered up considerably as he walked along with his Fwooper.

Soon he collapsed. The jellyfish had stung him on the side of the head. This filled his head with vivid visions. He imagined a world where he was treated as the wisest wizard in the land, wiser than even Rowena Ravenclaw. This pleased him greatly.

He climbed from the round and rushed home, where he was greeted by his pet augureys. They were crying out, and zoomed past him as fast as possible, off to hunt fairies. Uric did not bother with them, and sat down at his rubbish covered desk, determined to make his vision a reality. He knew he was wise, for he had been sorted into Ravenclaw, and therefore all he had to do was make other people realise this.

He pulled a sheet of parchment out and set to work, writing out things he could test out to make people see he was more than just the man who had once managed to set fire to Hogwarts Castle, even though it was made of stone.

He worked out exactly what he wanted to prove. He would take his pet Fwooper and listen to its cries, and prove that everybody was wrong. Their cries would not harm you. They would be beneficial for your health. He had no reason to believe this, but try he would to gain the title of wisest in the land. He would start in the morning.

He awoke the next morning to the cries of his augureys, which terrified him greatly, for the cry of the augurey represents death. Convinced he had died, Uric decided to make the most of it, and attempted to float through his wall. This did not work, but he persisted until finally he realised he was still living, which disappointed him slightly. He was not a wise man at all.

Uric the Oddball set about his task, listening to his Fwooper’s cry for three months without a break. He went to the Wizards’ Council to share his findings, wearing nothing but a dead badger on his head. Rather than being seen as the most intelligent wizard of his age, he was treated as even more of a joke. He was laughed at by the old men with their silver hair and long beards. At first, this vexed the wizard greatly, but in the end he did not care. He remained doing as he pleased and no man or woman could make him feel bad about it. He found that once he had come to this realisation he was wearing armour as strong as that forged by goblins, the laughter of the Council did not sting. Even though his experiment had come to nothing, he had enjoyed the work greatly.

He was not the wises man, but that did not matter. He was unique and original and did not care for what others thought of him. He set about his work without a care in the world, jellyfish hat still on his head.

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WANEGBT - Melbourne, December 11

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I have stayed true to that first idea that people can have a day in their lives that is very important and if they can reconnect with that day, reconnect with the people they were then, they can suddenly revive their emotions.

We’ll never see the likes of her again. A truly unique comic genius.

Victoria Wood (19 May 1953 - 20 April 2016)

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remember when gawker media outed a relatively unknown married man with the help of the male sex worker that tried to extort him so that they could publish a ~juicy~ clickbait article on his private life

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the Telmarine who saved Narnia

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Oh,you know who i am.

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A Very Starkid Reunion

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Being a procrastinator with a violent fear of failure is almost hilarious because like 80% of the time I’m like “I’m not even going to think about this” and then there’s like a distinct moment when everything switches and it turns to “I can’t fail oh my god I need to turn this into an A in like a day why am I like this”

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friend: how are you?

me: i miss harry potter

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I fuckign hate seeing ppl my age be successful because I am a bitter, jealous, and untalented individual

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Ben Barnes featuring ➤ The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

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I'm just going to say it, I was wrong about this book for all those years. I actually really enjoyed it this time. Sure, it could still use a ruthless edit, but it's neither as overlong or as convoluted as I remember it to be. It still frustrates me though. Everybody ignoring Harry, leaving him out of the loop when he has a right to know just what's going on, I'm surprised it took him this long to get as angsty as he got. At least Dumbledore admits that he's wrong right at the very end Side note: Umbridge is a fantastic villain, and I'm glad Jo brought her back for more. #HPReadathon2015 #HarryPotter #Books #JKRowling #HarryPotterAndTheOrderOfThePhoenix

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Bloomsbury UK is releasing new Harry Potter adult hardback editions!

Pre-order them here.

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You know sweatpants?

In Australia we call them trakky-dacks. 

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I don’t think google gets enough credit sometimes