threedoggedhead

[threedoggedhead]

“hi”

[threedoggedhead]

“There was a bag of sugar outside of a grocery store the other day!!! So I ripped a hole in it to like, eat it, right???”

“It was salt.”

[threedoggedhead]

“Hmm, weird how many people are willing to sign over their soul for love...”

[threedoggedhead]

@darkseraphscorner​:

"... " Calls the gas company. 

“What? No - it’s okay!!! I buried it again!!!”

[threedoggedhead]

She shakes snow off herself, along with dirt. Amazingly, she’s completely clean.

“Uh... Hmm... I might need to search a bit slower... Accidentally dented some pipe that was buried, it started hissing...”

[threedoggedhead]

@demonsours​ said:

"Hey Cerbs. Catch." Malina tosses the set of triplets each one identical red beret, with a black velvet band and a small pin. One for each of them. As grumpy as she was, Sinner's Day was Sinner's Day and while Cerberus just made a mess, Malina could be a singular half ounce less grumpy. "It'll keep your ears warm and snow out of them." Granted this was mostly so Cerberus would drag in less snow for the demon to clean up, but she didn't have her hopes up.

One catches it on her head, one in her mouth, and one in her hands, before looking at Malina.

“I didn’t know you knew how to make hats! I bet I look super cute in it. Ah, I got you a thing of vodka for the holidays but I buried it in the snow somewhere, so I’ll have to get back to you on that... I also got these rocks that retain temperature for you - apparently they’re made for alcohol! They don’t melt, and stay cold like ice! They’re in the freezer. I hope you like them.”

[threedoggedhead]

There’s a perfect pentagram melted into the snow on the front lawn.

Cerberus is sitting in the middle, all three of her eating a plate of pancakes.

[threedoggedhead]

There’s a hole in the snow at the end of three sets of footprints on the front lawn, very clearly someone (see: Cerberus) was rolling around in the snow. She comes in, all three of her absolutely covered in snow, and she shakes it all off, sending snow flying in every direction. Times three.

“Man! Humans are stupid!”

[threedoggedhead]

“Well yeah - but like... If you don’t include the times I messed up, I have a perfect record!”

"Cere... your pride is cute, but you have abandoned your post at least five separate times...

...though to be fair the last one introduced us all to Taker, so maybe we can let that one slide."

[threedoggedhead]

An Anon asked:

Someone coming to hell? Do you know what they’re like? 

“My job isn’t to know everyone coming through - I’ll be told if someone’s not supposed to be here, then I get them to leave, or I kill them. Nobody has ever gotten past me, so whoever they are, if they’re not supposed to be here, they won’t be here very long.”

[threedoggedhead]

She brushes some snow off her heads.

“The colder season is interesting! A lot of ice, and... Cold. Hell never gets cold.”

She then shakes the rest of her bodies, like a regular dog.

[threedoggedhead]

Someone’s coming to Hell? I’ll have to sharpen my teeth...”

[threedoggedhead]

@angeliccuriosity​ asked:

"Question for my notes! How far apart can you be from yourself? Is there a maximum distance before it causes strain, or can you be in three different places at once around the world or Hell?”

This makes Cerberus pause, and she takes a quizzical look on her face.

Well, it wouldn’t hurt to share, would it?

“I can be in three separate layers of Hell if need be. Sometimes I even send one of myself back to Hell, if I find I need something from there, or if I forgot something. So I’ll be honest, I don’t know if there is a distance. I’ve never felt particularly... Weaker, in any instance, if that makes sense.”

Cerberus then taps her chin.

“Though I’m a guardian of Hell, not a feral neighborhood dog. Don’t worry, Azazel. You’re perfectly safe around me!”

[threedoggedhead]

All three of her sneeze in perfect unison.

Then she rubs her heads.

“Who’s dusting??? It’s one thirty in the morning!!!”

[threedoggedhead]

“Man, could you imagine boats in Hell?! Heat-resistant boats!!! What a concept.”

[threedoggedhead]

“The worst part about being a demon is that work and home are the same exact place, so work literally follows you home.”

[threedoggedhead]

“I... Think I accidentally gave away the razor I was using last night... I hope whoever has it gets stabby.”