thoughtsofanempath

[thoughtsofanempath]

I’m going to become the type of woman that walks in the room and is a breath of fresh air and light. She’s comfortable, confident, knows what she wants, calm, cool, collected, beautiful, exciting, informative, listens before talking, observant, friendly, warm, GLOWING, sexy, smart, has an innocence to her in a way that makes her light hearted and curious. Like, I just need to be that woman. I want that soft life inside and out!

[thoughtsofanempath]

[thoughtsofanempath]

“A mistake is an accident. Cheating and lying are not mistakes, they are intentional choices.”

— Unknown

[thoughtsofanempath]

“You’re in a relationship to be happy, to smile, to laugh, to make memories, to enjoy one another - and not to be constantly hurt and upset.”

— Unknown

[thoughtsofanempath]

So unfortunately I will be making a new blog since the narc has caught on to this one.

If you're following and want to keep updated please DM me.

[thoughtsofanempath]

[thoughtsofanempath]

[thoughtsofanempath]

I’m slowly learning that even if I react, it won’t change anything. It won’t make certain people suddenly love, understand & respect me, it won’t magically change their minds. Sometimes it’s better to say nothing & detach myself from them.

[thoughtsofanempath]

[thoughtsofanempath]

My favorite thing about the “if you struggle with anxiety or depression it’s a sin because it means you aren’t trusting Jesus” people is that they don’t realize that my hope and trust in Jesus is the only thing that gets me though some of those episodes

[thoughtsofanempath]

I used to be so hard on myself for not getting more done. This was especially true when I was still an engineer- but amongst the hours of meetings and interviews and planning I did, it was more of a miracle that I was getting so much done. Let’s be kind to ourselves! What other factors are contributing to our productivity, our energy, and our time? Only when we’re more reasonable with ourselves, can we adjust how much we can actually get done, and then accomplish things without guilt.

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Webtoon  

[thoughtsofanempath]

I feel invisible to my friends lately. There's been these subtle vibes I'm picking up on, and some pretty obvious ones that are making me feel like I don't matter. I'm the only girl in the group, and I feel like the masculine energy is a little too much sometimes. I feel like I get pushed into mom roles. I feel like I have to be the oversight, practical thinker, common Sense guru, central hub for things like information resources and references. (Medical stuff for example, because I studied it)

I serve, I provide, I aid, I talk with them, and while I don't mind being helpful, even maternal at times (I do have a child after all) I feel like there's some kind of codependency and then discarding going on. Like they rely on me for certain things. But then when it comes to like common sense or manners, they don't show me consideration.

For example, we went out for sushi the other day, and when it came to the end of the meal I excused myself to the restroom. While I was in there, they all order dessert. Like how rude is that? Shouldn't you wait till everyone is present? I was taken back by that. One of them lied and said that I said I didn't want dessert.

No one asked me first of all, and secondly I talked about getting red bean mochi if they had it.

Then we had an outing over the weekend in which I tagged them in all the photos on Instagram. they completely ignored the tag/shout out

Then I get this bullshit that "oh I just saw it." "Oh I already liked it" You are both on your phone all day long. Like seriously all day long. Your ringtones are loud and your glued to it so I'm not buying that. You straight out ignored me

Then we go to a really nice place on Saturday which had a beach and a lookout point by the Hudson. I'm super excited to bring one of my friends there and he just played pokémon go the whole time. I brought it up a few times how excited I was to show him. But it seemed like the game is more important.

Thank God it wasn't a date. I'd be so insulted.

And that's why I feel invisible. They've been really shitty lately and all I've been trying to do is make sure everyone has a good time.

I'm going to think about my boundaries going forward. I don't think certain individuals are capable of being compassionate understanding or considerate that I would expect from a friendship. I'm going to match energy.

[thoughtsofanempath]

Take Authority Over Your Life

Stop waiting for others to decide for you what your life is going to look like or what your next move should be. Get into the habit of being decisive and constantly take action towards achieving your desired goals or changing the trajectory of your life. Do not stand still, keep moving, even if you move towards the wrong direction, you will learn a lot throughout the process. If you choose to remain still, you will be stagnant and growth in your life will never occur.

[thoughtsofanempath]

A note on boundaries

Sometimes people say and do things that makes you want to take space from them. It could be an off-putting remark, an action that disturbs your values, an inconsiderate decision, whatever it may be

Maybe you have tried to communicate how you feel to this person, but it seems hopeless because they are stuck in their ways. Maybe they are in denial or maybe they just have no self-awareness at all.

In any case, you sense something off and you know that being around this person can affect your mental health in a negative way. So you take space. (This is a lot different than giving someone the cold shoulder silent treatment or stonewalling)

The other person might have a problem with you taking a space but you have to realize this is not for them it's for you.

Space allows you to think and process your values and boundaries. It's not a personal attack. It's not spite.

At the end of the day you can't police people on how to respect you the way you want. You can't make them talk how you want to be talk to, you can't make them consider your feelings.

You can however limit the exposure you have with a unhealthy person. You're allowed to breathe and assess your roles with them.

And there should be absolutely zero shame in that.

[thoughtsofanempath]

“Controllers, abusers and manipulative people don’t question themselves. They don’t ask themselves if the question is them. They always say the problem is someone else.”

— Darlene Ouimet

[thoughtsofanempath]

“We just got to accept that some people can only be in our hearts, not in our lives.”

— Kathy B.

[thoughtsofanempath]

It really does help in truly understanding what these terms mean and how they relate to behaviours that you experience and witness.