thoughtsaboutmusic-blog1

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You’re Nobody Til Someone Loves You

Scrambling to try and find a song to write about in this post, I got inspiration in a place that has helped me before. In this small coffee shop on this quiet Sunday afternoon, I sat patiently waiting for lightning to strike or inspiration to just hit me in the face. Over the intercom, as I sipped on my coffee, I was suddenly serenated by the one and only, Dean Martin. I have to admit (and I am sorry for this Mr. Martin, sir) he was never my favorite member of the Rat Pack. That “accolade” goes exclusively to Sammy Davis, Jr but I digress. While I pride myself of knowing the standard singers of the 50′s, it wasn’t until recently, give or take 2 or 3 years that I grew more infatuated with the ever suave, Dean Martin. It was then, where I was suddenly transported out of the coffeeshop and into the memory of the first time I heard the crooner sing. 

The particular song I fell in love with was, un-ironically, “You’re Nobody Til Somebody Loves You.” While watching an episode of Freaks and Geeks titled “Noshing and Moshing”, the final scene stood out among the rest. If you haven’t seen the show, music is an important character. Sprinkled throughout the show are these wonderful moments, where songs are used to convey character’s feelings, all with them not saying a single word. This scene in particular does just that. It is for this reason why it is my favorite scene and episode of the short-lived series. 

Disclaimer: The video kind of repeats the video with no sound at 2:13 so you can stop watch it then. 

The scene plays the whole song, transforming it into three distinct stories. First, is the excitement of a new found relationship, the words of the song represent the feelings of a person who is seeing everything in “color” for the first time. Second, is the revelation of a relationship chipping away at itself, bit by bit. The song, in this instance, is haunting. The words of the song are hollow, almost ironic. Lastly, the scene ends with our last mini vignette: an embrace, signifying the comfort and safety of finding a relationship, whether it be a romantic relationship or a friendship. This visual made me realize how flexible the interpretation of this song was. However, it wasn’t until the song accidently played, that I realized its true meaning to me. 

I don’t remember the exact details of this instance. The only thing I do remember is the person who said it. We were both very different people to begin with. Looking back, I am not surprised that she acted this way. I didn’t seem to notice that the song was playing until I heard a audible groan next to me. At first, I was taken a back. The song was pretty harmless. Then, she looked at me and said “Ew” during the titular part. 

Not going to lie I was a tad bit offended. I think I may have been a little too offended with the comment. It’s not like I wrote the lyrics myself, but in my mind I did have ownership of it. Like all music, it represents something so much more to me, then the lyrics on the page. It reminds me of specific places where I was at in my life. In this particular place in my life, I wasn’t madly in love with anyone. I was just happy where everything was at. I had the support and love from so many people. I felt secure for once. I had a net beneath me to give me everything I could ever ask for. The song almost sort of knocked me over the head. It made me stop and look around at the love that had been all around me. 

For me, it wasn’t that Martin was saying that you needed to find a “soulmate” to be complete. It was just the very concept of loving someone, of caring for someone other than yourself. No change can be made, within yourself or the world around you, unless you experience that kind of selflessness. 

You're nobody til somebody loves you You're nobody til somebody cares You may be king, you may possess the world and it's gold But gold won't bring you happiness when you're growing old The world still is the same, you never change it As sure as the stars shine above You're nobody til somebody loves you So find yourself somebody to love

All while she looked at me, I found myself confronting the reason why I loved this song. Then, everything rushed to the front of my head. The song was a love letter to a community, not to any sort of prince charming.

But I stopped myself from saying anything (and for me, at the moment, that was hard to do since we had already butted heads on several things before).

Why, you might ask? Because, like any poem/book/piece of art, interpretation is what keeps all of these things alive. It creates a conversation, but my comment would have stopped it completely. Instead of getting defensive, I became inquisitive. I saw it from her perspective, and I tried to understand it as much as my own. 

Although it didn’t change my mind, I was reminded again of that scene. I smiled to myself and walked away as the song played in my headphones. 

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The world still is the same, you never change it As sure as the stars shine above Well, you're nobody til somebody loves you So find yourself somebody to love

“You’re Nobody Until Someone Loves You“ by Dean Martin

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Figures, a Reprise

Anger; an emotion I try to keep at a minimum. This year, unfortunately, I fell into the all consuming fire that is this emotion. It was new ground for me. The anger was an anger in myself for allowing people to treat me this way, along with an anger for meeting people who didn’t care about me, who inflicted pain onto me. The most frustrating part about it was it wasn’t just one person, it was multiple. A pattern seemed to form and each time pieces of me were broken off in the aftermath.

To cope with this new state of mind, I began to make playlists. While trying to hide my feelings, I named them pretty obvious names, with each song being incredibly pointed. Listening back to them, I can hear my pain, frustration, anger and a slight bit of optimism that everything would be ok. 

However the main theme was always the same: pain

The funny thing is, this song wasn’t on any of those playlists. I discovered it by accident and what an accident indeed. Before I go on, I must describe my process in listening to songs. I pride myself of listening to lyrics of songs pretty intensely. Almost like poetry or a book for class, I listen to a song ad nauseam dissecting every word of it. I crave a connection to a song. I reach out, searching to relate to someone (someone who I may never meet). I search, franticly, to put words to the feelings I am trying to grapple/understand myself. Unfortunately, with this song it took me a while to do that. 

I was taken by Reyez’s voice. The combination of her and Daniel’s voices, was a great juxtaposition, telling almost the same story in different ways. One, filled with anger, the other filled with a deep sadness. Each exhibiting the same feeling: pain. It wasn’t until I was casually listening to the song in my bathroom getting ready for the day that I was struck by the words. It was almost as if someone punched me in the gut. The wind got knocked out of me and all that came out while I listened to the song was a slight chuckle. By this point, I had made roughly three playlists. For me, I was searching for a song that articulated what I was feeling. However, I didn’t really fully grasp exactly what I was feeling. But at that moment, everything seemed to be clear for once. The smoke dissipated. 

The song, which is a continuation of a song titled “Figures, a Reprise” (aptly titled). In this version, Daniel Caesar is added to the mix cutting Reyez’ s piece into halves. Softly, the song starts out, along with Reyez’s voice. Then suddenly the beat gets harder, her voice becomes harsher, fiercer. Then the chorus hits. Each time I listen to it’s hard for me not to stop and scream it out along side her. 

In the chorus, Reyez sings the quote about: 

   I wish I could hurt you back    Love, what would you do if you couldn't get me back    You're the one who's gonna lose    Something so special, something so real    Tell me boy, how in the fuck would you feel?    If you couldn't get me back   That's what I wish that I could do to you, you    To you, you

At that moment, I was in that place. I wanted to get them back, all the people that wronged me. I wanted them to feel this anger that had consumed me. I wanted them to feel the crippling anxiety that sprung up after those instances. I wanted them to be consumed by the fire. Her anger rung through my ears, striking me. When Caesar’s voice cuts in, I then realized that I was also feeling his emotions. A deep sadness and a reliving of the emotions that gave me a sort of comfort. I was still holding out hope that they missed me too. 

Listening to this song, although through this post validated my feelings in the moment, gave me a closure. The song isn’t really filled with a ton of optimism, it made me realize that I could get through it. That everything, that I still bottled up inside needed to be let out. This song, then acted in that release. It was transformative, and made me realize my worth. I grew stronger. I focused on myself, not allowing for the others to inflict anymore pain. I was finally free. 

Jessie Reyez, thank you. Thank you for giving me a helping hand. 

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Tell me boy, how in the f**** would you feel? If you couldn't get me back That's what I wish that I could do to you, you To you, you

Figures, a Reprise by Jessie Reyes (Feat. Daniel Caesar)

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I’ll Try Anything Once

The Strokes. Wow, where do I even begin. I don’t know. I have grown such an attachment to this band. It could be that they were the gateway band to what I listen to today. It also could be they were in my life, during the pivotal moments. I fell in love with Julian’s voice, along with the unique sound the group made. To this day, they are still that band for me. I still wear out their albums. I still franticly search every month to see if they are coming out with a new album (FYI: they aren’t. Julian said maybe next year, but who knows he said that last year) However, it is this song that is my favorite. A song that is in fact a demo. 

At this point, I was already pretty deep into The Strokes discography. While I was looking up movie trailers on YouTube, I stumbled upon the new Sofia Coppola movie titled “Somewhere”. I was intrigued. I clicked on the link and was brought to the trailer. 

There are roughly 20 words said in the trailer. Even typing it out, I feel like I am being generous with that number. This is something draws me to  S. Coppola films. Her movies seem to embrace silence, because when it is silent, it seems as if you pay attention more to the details around you. You are able to sit with your thoughts and process. The trailer first starts off with Phoenix’s “Love Like Sunset, Part 1″. A piece of dialogue then cuts through the middle of the trailer. The mood then shifts, with the use of “I’ll Only Try Anything Once.” When I first listened to the song I was immediately drawn to it. It sounded old. If nostalgia could be a song, it would be this one. It is surprising to think this song was created in 2006. Then, without warning, I began to sing the song. It was almost as if I knew the song or heard it before. It was a surreal experience. I repeated that section of the trailer numerous times. After hearing it for the fifth time, I decided to look up the lyrics to the song. This was always the best way to find songs and since I had listened to it the whole afternoon, I knew the lyrics pretty well. 

I, soon, then discovered that the song was indeed a demo. The demo, ultimately became  “You Only Live Once” by The Strokes. I listened to the studio recording and soon recognized the bits and pieces of the original version. 

I loved them both. Each one brought something new to the table. The first one is more intimate. The song talks about the struggles of life: moments when we fail, relationships coming and going and ultimately, the power of fate that guides us to make decisions or in some instances, control our lives even if we don’t know it. Along with this the question that resonates with me the most is in the song: Why not try it all, if you only remember it once? At first glance, the song tells me to try everything I want to; that doing it, I will remember to look back on it fondly. However, I have seen this lyric in a different way over time. It is almost a question said sarcastically. Why do we try stuff that in many instances, we will only remember one time? 

The second one, the studio version is more of a alternative rock The intimacy is a little lost and replaced with a hard exterior. The song mostly talks about the highs and lows of starting a relationship. The lyrics have changed to fit more with this theme but the chorus is untouched. It is so interesting to see the process that goes into songs like this, but it makes me think (Wow, I have been asking myself a lot of questions during this piece.) How many great songs have only been demos?

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Get You (Acoustic Version)

I fell in love with “Get You” by Daniel Caesar (feat. Kali Uchis) the first time that I heard it. The music video for the studio version is intimate, sensual and just memorizing to watch. You can’t help but sway along to the music, getting lost in it with each word he sings. The atmosphere perfectly encapsulates the essence of the song. Kali’s part, although seemingly minimal, further illustrates the beauty of love. The way it makes peace with the chaos surrounding you. 

Although the studio version is delightful, Caesar’s acoustic version of the song is the one I prefer the most. The version is to promote a Fender guitar and for once I really don’t mind that this is a promotion. Honestly, after watching this video, I might just go and purchase one myself. His voice is spectacular in both, but in the acoustic version you can hear the intensity of the song. Almost as if he is yearning, Caesar makes his words effortlessly flow with the music. Unlike the music video, he is the focal point. The camera is on him the whole time. Focused in on his expression as he sings, with the camera cutting to the guitar every once in a while.  With each high note, you can tell he means every word. Nothing was just thrown together. Everything was intentional

For the 4:50 minutes, I got a glimpse into a relationship filled with this intense passion. It has been a while since I have seen an artist that can be able to do this. There is no question about it: he has felt this array of emotions. Voices like these are encountered once in a generation. The future of Caesar’s is bright and one that I am happy to have discovered early. 

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Through drought and famine, natural disasters My baby has been around for me Kingdoms have fallen, angels be calling None of that could ever make me leave

“Get You” by Daniel Caesar (feat. Kali Uchis) 

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I couldn’t find the originally recording of the song, but the HAIM version expresses the same intimacy/rawness of the original recording 

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There is a time when we all fail Some people take it pretty well Some take it all out on themselves Some they just take it out on friends Oh, everybody plays the game And if you don't you're called insane

“I’ll Try Anything Once” by The Strokes 

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Malibu 1992

Timing. I feel like all the great love stories begin with this particular word. It is important and often an aspect of a relationship that we can take for granted. It is being at the right place at the right time. I have described this in my piece about Rex County Orange and how I discovered this artist. It was like fate wanted to give me a little reminder that someone too was experiencing the same pain, happiness and frustration that I was feeling. This could describe all the songs really, but last year, this song really stuck with me and hasn’t really let up ever since. 

I have always had a hard time moving on. At times I describe it to people like this: I am an octopus and when someone leaves me (whether it be a friendship or romantic relationship), I feel like a tentacle has been cut off. The lack of tentacle/part of me serves as a reminder of the importance of the relationship and the piece of me that the person has taken away from me. Like mourning the loss of someone, I pick up the pieces and try my best to move on. For so long, I felt as if I was silly for feeling this way. It gets harder and harder each time. Sometimes, I even begin to question, “Why do I keep doing this to myself?” 

When I heard “Malibu 1992″, I was going through the loss of a relationship that I invested in. I cared about this person. Regardless of hesitations, I jumped right in at the beginning. The first few months were great. I started to grow attached.  However, over time the relationship seemed to dissipate. I was left, standing there, in a position I know all to well. A position of questioning what went wrong. 

In “Malibu 1992″, Tim Pagnotta talks from the perspective of an individual looking back. The person, whose thoughts we are listening to, is reluctant to be feeling this way. However, they keep coming back to times of a past relationship that has since left. Reliving those experiences and holding on to the memories that can’t seem to go away. The song ends with the realization, that they seem to be the only one with the memories of Malibu 1992. 

The questions I am left asking myself are, is remembering the past/past relationships, good or bad? Should we feel bad for the protagonist because they still long for this person or do we feel bad for the individual that has forgotten the relationship? It is an interesting situation. One that I have gone back and forth on since hearing the song that cold December night. It challenges me to think, can we ever move on for something, or like the example I used at the beginning, will we always have a reminder that shows us the beauty of the relationship that once was?

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Well I come here more than you know And I'm sure you think I've outgrown you But I couldn't

“Malibu 1992″ by COIN

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Soledad y Mar

I am embarrassed to say the first time I heard Natalia, I was in a Starbucks. This isn’t to knock Starbucks in anyway. It is more on me. As being Latina, I feel like I have to know everything in my culture to truly be apart of it.  I have to listen to the music, eat the foods, and speak the language. It is not only to prove to myself that I am Latina, but to the Latinx community and to others who question my “authenticity”. It has been a struggle that is all too familiar. Growing up in the suburbs outside of Dallas, I was always surrounded by people that didn’t look like me but were still apart of marginalized communities. Yet, I still sought out to find what truly made me Ana. 

I started to listen to more Selena when I began high school. I fell in love with her story and most of all her voice. It also brought my mother and I together. We were able to sit down and just listen to her. Since I don’t speak Spanish, my mom would translate for me the meaning of each song. At this point, I was hooked. I began to listen to more artists that spoke Spanish. I sang to Julieta Venegas’s album “Limón y Sal” . I danced to Prince Royce. I cried to Selena. The rhythm, beats, production of the song felt so familiar to me. I was drawn in to each word. It is an incredible magnetism that I feel whenever I listen to Latin artists. 

Flash forward to junior year of college. It was the fall semester, near winter break. School seemed to pile on and on. I was stressed, mostly about things that didn’t mean very much since I can’t seem to remember them now. The snow had started to create layers on the street in front of the store. I was looking at my phone, awaiting for my peppermint mocha to be made. It was then I heard an angelic voice begin to croon, however, it wasn’t in English but in Spanish. 

I was thrown off. “Wow, Starbucks? Really?,” I said to myself. I had never heard a Latin artist playing in such a public space. Then, without any sort of warning, I teared up. Each word Natalia sang was so beautiful. I know I say this in a lot of posts but I was transfixed. I didn’t care about the drink at that point. All I did was stare outside to the beautiful snow that fell before me and got lost in it. The song starts off with a soft strumming of a guitar. It brings me back to hearing mariachi music at my family gatherings in San Antonio. With this type of music, there is an air of intimacy. It is something beautiful to witness in person. All it is, is you listening to music in the purest form. The lyrics are equally as beautiful and haunting. The song talks about the relationship to the sea. Natalia compares the end of a relationship to the depth of the sea. It is hard to determine it from the surface, but once out there you are able to see where it is. Like a relationship, it is hard to tell where it will go at the beginning. However once it ends, you understand the effect it has on you, how deep the attachment is.  Feelings of the remnants of what once was, pull away and rush towards her over time. Much like the poem by Emily Dickinson titled “I started Early-Took my Dog and Visited the Sea”, love can take many forms. It can be personified into many different things. 

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Que me cante el mar Un bolero de soledad Que me cante el mar Que ando sola con soledad

“Soledad y Mar” by Natalia Lafourcade