thoughtplickens

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“What can be done when you’re eleven can often never be done again.” ~ Narrator

It is the stuff of nightmares. Literally. More specifically to this story, It is a frightening entity that comes around to Derry, Maine every 20 or so years (after it recharges) and terrifies the community, mainly children.

It can take the form of whatever the child fears most, but most commonly is seen as Pennywise the Clown. 7 kids are brought together by a brighter force and all but finish off It when they are children, but then are brought back as adults to finish the job.

Where in Maine are we? The fictional town of Derry. This is the first time King fully fleshes out the town. Vaguely in the vicinity of Bangor.

Where in the King timeline are we? Book #26, Novel #17

Connection to previous King books? Yes and no, They mention Carrie White from Carrie in the book and It seems to be tied to the general source of evil in King's stories, but mostly it is a jumping off point for other King works.

Connection to the Dark Tower? Yes and yes, Pennywise/It seems to serve the Crimson King and both It and The Turtle (who created the world) both seem to be connected to the multiverse.

Good Guy #1: Seriously? You're going to make me choose? I guess I would have to go with Bill Denbrough, who is the unquestioned leader when they are kids and begrudgingly accepts the role as adults too.

Good Guy #2: Mike...I guess? Mike is the only one of the group that stays in Derry and is the main catalyst for them coming back.

Bad Guy #1: Pennywise/It. Duh. The book is named after It and Pennywise has caused many kid's (including mine) fear of clowns. Terrifying.

Bad Guy #2: Henry Bowers. The human terrorist of younger version of the Losers Club is also the human that It tries to team up with to get rid of them as adults.

Freakout Factor: All the deaths are pretty gruesome and obviously Pennywise is scary on his own. But the biggest freakout factor for me as a 44-year old dad was the scene where Bev, the only girl in the group made a 'connection' with all the boys after the first bout with It. I don't know what the hell King was thinking, I truly don't.

That ending, though: Like a lot of King's longer novels, this guy has a lot of endings. The final showdown with It is pretty satisfying, what happens to the Losers afterward, less so.

Overall thoughts: So, I saw the movie when I was 10 or 11 and it scared the BeJesus out of me, so it was cathartic to read it and exercise some of those demons. The world building is some of King's best ever, and that's saying something. Bonus points for Stephen Weber reading the audiobook. He was better than I ever imagined.

Total Rating: 8.2 Floating Red Balloons (Out of 10)

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The Stories From Skeleton Crew: Ranked

The Jaunt - Probably the short story from King that people talk about the most, and for good reason. It is so original and thought provoking, it blows the other stories in this book out of the water. A family is being 'jaunted' to Mars, which is basically teleportation. The father tells the family the history of Jaunting while they wait and the son makes a decision right before their Jaunt that brings everything together in a shocking way.

The Ballad of the Flexible Bullet - The flexible bullet from the title refers to madness, and while there is quite a tale of madness at the center of this story, it is more a rumination on madness and what drives people, especially in the literary world towards madness. Hard to imagion King wasn't talking through his own issues here.

The Man Who Would Not Shake Hands - I love the world King created in his novella, The Breathing Method. This is another story told to The Club by one of the wealthy gentleman owners. The tale told within isn't quite as gripping as The Breathing Method, but we learn more about the Club and where it began in this short story.

Gramma - You know from the beginning that something is wrong with Gramma. King squeezes every amount of terror and suspense he can until we actually figure out what it is, even after Gramma...dies. King is a master at creepy and this is a perfect example.

Survivor Type - This is sort of a mashup of the madness of the Flexible Bullet and the creepiness of Gramma. A surgeon (of course he's a surgeon) gets marooned on an island and because he is not getting saved and there is no food or shelter, he makes the dyer decision to start amputating and eating the parts that he can live without. You can imagine what happens as King takes it farther and farther.

Nona - Creepy and supernatural, Nona is written by a man recounting a strange love affair with the titular character that landed him in prison, where he still resides. Nona convinces him through various means to kill people that get in their way and eventually leads to a cemetery where he is caught and she is never found. Was she ever there?

The Monkey - Recently turned into a movie, this is the story of a menacing toy monkey (the one where cymbals clash together when you wind it up). It keeps turning up around the main character even after he moves, buries it and destroys it.

Word Processor to the Gods - Word Processors may be of the time this was written, but with AI and technology going at breakneck speed, this is more precient than you'd think. A man who hates his life is given a processor by his inventor nephew . The man discovers what is typed into the device comes to life and what is deleted can be deleted in real life. For a man that hates his surroundings, that can be dangerous.

The Reaper's Image - classic set up by King of: is this scariness real or imagined. It concerns an antique dealer who goes to a museum to authenticate the Delver Mirror, which is rumored to show those who look in it the Grim Reaper. The collector scoffs the rumors, but notices duct tape on the mirror which would render it useless. As the curator explains there is nothing on the mirror, the collector feels the glass (with no tape) and then gets a good luck at the image in the mirror.

The Wedding Gig - This story is probably of its time, whether that's the time is was written (December 1980, the month I was born) or the time it takes place (American Prohibition). Vaguely about the mob, a man is hired to make fun of the bride at a wedding. The bride is near 300 pounds. She not only makes it out of this unscathed, she takes over the crew that was trying to ruin the marriage. So, it is this high for the revenge factor.

Mrs. Todd's Shortcut - Another story about obsession leading to madness, with a little supernatural sprinkled in. An old man at a gas station is being told the story of how Mrs. Todd became obsessed with shortcuts and eventually found one that made her younger, before she disappears one day. The old man takes the shortcut and does feel younger while seeing some strange things along the way.

The Reach - A perfect last story in the book, about the end of life. Stella has lived on an island just off the mainland her whole life without ever crossing 'the reach' of water between. When an ice storm freezes the Reach, she begins having visions of her long dead husband telling her to cross. She knows this is the end of her life but makes it her final mission to make it across before she dies.

Beachworld - Two astronauts are stranded on a planet almost entirely made of sand. One knows they most drink water to stay alive and wait for help. But the other starts to think he is one with the sand and refuses to drink or move. When help finally comes, the transformation is complete.

Big Wheels - a Tale of the Laundry Game - Two mean leave their job at a big laundry company, drink way too much beer and drive around. They need an inspection so they go to their old classmate's mechanic shop and bully him into giving them a passing inspection. As they leave, they have a run in with a milkman from a previous story, who also pays a visit to their friend at the mechanic shop.

The Raft - Four college kids swim out to the middle of a lake that is condemned and get stuck because there is a deadly creature trying to grab them. One by one, the students gets picked off. This story would be higher if all four of the characters weren't so unlikable.

Morning Deliveries - This is a deeply disturbing story of a milkman making his normal deliveries. Only Stephen King could make the describing of an idyllic summer morning seem so foreboding, because we know Spike, the delivery man is a bad dude, even before he starts poisoning the milk he is delivering.

Uncle Otto's Truck - This is the tail of two old business partners who are trying to decide if they want to sell and divide the profits. Otto's truck is on the property and he feels much more attached to the land than his partner George. The argument becomes heated and Otto murders George...with the help of his old truck.

Cain Rose Up - This begins the stories I didn't care for much at all. This is about a student at a college who deems himself judge, jury and executioner, sniping his fellow students out of his window. Even without all the school shootings that have happened since this came out, the story is pretty messed up.

Here There Be Tygers - I didn't get whatever point I was supposed to get from this story and it sets a weird tone as the first actual short-story in the book. A third grader goes to the bathroom, finds a tiger, real or imagined we're not sure. Then another student is sent to find him and eventually the teacher.

Paranoid: A Chant - This is a series of paranoid ramblings supposedly sent from the man that went crazy in the Flexible Bullet short story. Not a huge fan of series of paranoid ramblings, it turns out.

For Owen - This is a poem King wrote to his then very young son, Owen, who we now know as a writer of some note himself. The whole thing makes me uncomfortable with the forwardness, personalness and earnestness, knowing both of the participants. If I was Owen, I would forever be embarrassed by this. Hell, if I was King, I would be embarassed.

I should note: I reviewed The Mist on it's own, so it is not included here. If it was, it would be 1 or 1a with the Jaunt. Overall, I did not appreciate this collection near as much as Night Shift.

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"Something inhuman has come to Tarker’s Mills, as unseen as the full moon riding the night sky high above." - Narrator

Something is terrorizing and killings Tarker's Mill residents around the full moon every month. It looks like the typical behavior of a werewolf, but residents don't really believe that, until farm animals and other things start to be ripped apart also.

One victim who was lucky enough to get away alive, shot a firework into the beast's eye. He and other townspeople started to be on the lookout for a man with one eye in hopes of ending their terror.

Where in Maine are we? Tarker's Mill, near it's twin city of Chester's Mill

Where in the King Timeline are we? Book #24, Novel #16

Connection to previous King works: This is a standalone novel

Connection to the Dark Tower: None, too traditional

Good Guy #1: Marty Coslaw, wheelchair bound, Marty is shooting fireworks on July 4th when attacked. He fights off the wolf with fireworks and eventually finds out the true identity.

Good Guy #2: Uncle Al. Marty's uncle provided the fireworks to Marty and is one of the only ones in town that believes him about the attack.

Bad Guy #1: The Werewolf. No spoilers here, but the human knows he is turning into a wolf and continues to do it so in both forms, he's the worst.

Bad Guy #2: Everybody else in town! If they would have looked at the signs earlier, they could've stopped deaths.

Freakout factor: Several gruesome deaths explained in gory detail.

That ending though: Satisfying. After losing 8 townsfolk and several pigs, justice is served on New Year's Day

Overall thoughts: This is a good, short read. It goes through each month in short chapters. Despite having all the werewolf tropes, it features excellent character development and sets up a nice little mystery.

Total rating: 7.4 eye patches (out of 10)

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"Some guys - a lot of guys - don't believe what they are seeing, especially if it gets in the way of what they eat or drink or think or believe." - Richie

The cover says it all: a man is cursed to get thinner, and man, does he get thinner. Billy Halleck gets involved with a hit and run where an old gypsy woman dies. Lucky for him, his friends the sheriff and the judge get him off with a slap on the wrist. Unlucky for him, the woman's father curses all three of them.

Billy is overweight to start the story and continues losing weight no matter what he eats, eventually getting emaciated. Eventually, with nobody believing him but his crime boss friend, Richie Ginelli, Billy seeks out the traveling Gypsy camp to try to get the curse released before he literally wastes away to nothing.

Where in Maine are we? Well, we end up in several places in Maine, as the Gypsy camp travels north during the summer to catch all the vacationers. Originally, Billy lives in Connecticut.

Where in the King Timeline are we? Book #23, Novel #15, Richard Bachman Novel #5

Connection to Previous King works: Just the fact that one of the characters cheekily says "I feel like we're in the middle of a Stephen King book"

Connection to The Dark Tower: None really...you know, since it was written by a different author.

Good Guy #1: BIlly Halleck. Look, Billy was clearly in the wrong during the hit and run and in typical lawyer fashion, could be a little morally corrupt, but it becomes clear to the reader that he didn't deserve the curse he got and you start rooting for him.

Good Guy #2: Richie Ginelli. Again, as a crime boss, not exactly a moral compass. But, he's the only one that believes Billy and helps him with the Gypsies.

Bad Guy #1: With a bullet - Taduz Lemke, AKA the old Gypsy. Man, the guy knows how to throw around a curse. And, for a majority of the book, refuses to lift it or accept Billy's apology.

Bad Guy #2: Heidi Halleck. I get it, it's hard to believe in Gypsy curses, but when your husband eats everything in site and keeps losing weight, maybe start listening to him and not have him committed to a mental hospital?

Freakout Factor: It's a tie between the picture I had in my head when he dropped below 100 pounds and the description of the old Gypsy's dripping, oozing nose.

That ending though: Perfect. Aside from the totally unnecessary method of transferring the curse, the way everything paid off was poetic.

Overall thoughts: One of my favorite 'King' books. The curse and the book don't sound that thrilling when you hear a description. But losing weight until he don't have any weight to lose and you just die is a pretty creative plot device and King has so much fun with it that you as a reader do too.

Total rating: 7.9 Gypsy Pies (out of 10)

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"Everything goes away, Jack Sawyer, like the moon. Everything comes back, like the moon." - Wolf

Jack Sawyer moves with his mom to a secluded part of New Hampshire and becomes restless. After meeting a man that seems to know him and his history, Jack sets out on a journey across the country searching for a magical orb (The Talisman), because he believes/somehow knows it will cure his mother's cancer.

The mysterious man gives Jack a liquid that can take him to a parallel universe call The Territories. He can travel the country faster in the territories but there is evil in both places trying to slow down and stop Jack's journey for good, so he goes back and forth between worlds, meeting fascinating characters along the way.

Where in Maine are we in? We don't quite get that far. They move to New Hampshire at the beginning where Jack's mom remains. Then he works his way west to California

Where in the King Timeline are We? Book #22, Novel #14, Collab With Peter Straub #1

Connection to Previous King books: They may have made an offhand reference to The Territories in the Gunslinger, which leads to...

Connection to The Dark Tower: The Territories later become a bigger plot point and get mentioned in The Wastelands. The DNA of these two works is so intertwined. Both involve epic journeys and parallel universes and worlds. I wouldn't be surprised to learn this was what propelled King to follow the path he did with the rest of the Dark Tower novels.

Good Guy #1: Jack Sawyer. This is classic hero stuff. Yes, Jack is destined to do great things, but he still has to do those great things: and he does.

Good Guy #2: Wolf. Ahhh Wolf. So loveable, so screwed. Jack's faithful companion from The Territories wasn't cut out for Jack's world, but he was still awesome while he was there.

Bad Guy #1: Morgan Sloat. Formerly a partner of Jack's father. It turns out he killed his partner and stole his pipeline to The Territories. He must kill Jack Sawyer to keep it.

Bad Guy #2: Sunshine Gardner/Osmond: Twinners between the two worlds. These guys were bastards no matter where you encountered them, always working for Morgan.

Freakout Factor: At one point of the journey, Jack needs to leave a terrible situation at a greasy spoon he works for to make road trip money. It's a harrowing experience and just as he escapes, he runs into a beastly demon that will haunt him the rest of the trip.

That ending though: Pretty perfect actually. King tends to nail the ending of Good vs. Evil books: mainly because he gets out of the way and let the Good side kick ass.

Overall thoughts: I like this book a lot. I got a little bored/frustrated at the beginning of his journey when he took the side quests to make money, etc. With it being so long, there are bare spots, but everything really comes together and ratchets up the tension as it approaches the climax.

Total rating: 7.3 translucent orbs (out of 10)

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"Sometimes, dead is bettah" - Jud Crandall, Pet Sematary

Louis Creed moves to Maine with his family to become the doctor for a university. He becomes fast friends with his older neighbor, Jud. Jud warns the family to watch the highway between their two houses, because semis drive by at high speeds at all times of the day.

The family cat, Winston Churchill (Church) gets hit by one of the trucks and Jud shows Louis an ancient burial ground beyond the neighborhood pet cemetery. Things have mysteriously come back after being buried there and the cat is no different, opening a Pandora's Box of moral decisions with Creed's family.

Where in Maine are we?: Ludlow, rural Maine. About an hour from an bigger city, including Castle Rock.

Where in the King Timeline are we?: Book #21, Novel #14

Connection to previous King books: This is the first book where there are several Easter Eggs/nods to previous books, including mentioning the town of Jerusalem's Lot (as well as Castle Rock), the incident involving Cujo, a line from The Shining among others, including...

Connection to The Dark Tower: Church is described in the book as a 'Gunslinger', a not so veiled reference to the only Dark Tower book written at that time.

Good Guy #1: Jud Crandal. The guy that everybody wants as a next door neighbor. He shares his beer fridge and his wisdom.

Good Guy #2: Ellie Creed. Because of the *ahem* questionable choices that Louis Creed makes, I will choose his daughter, who helps him get out of at least a few of those choices.

Bad Guy #1: Winston Churchill. Church isn't the same cat when he 'comes back'. He seems to be controlled by whatever evil resides at the ancient burial ground.

Bad Guy #2: Victor Pascow. Likewise, while living, Victor didn't do anything wrong. But, upon dying in Louis clinic, he began to haunt our MC in more ways than one.

Freakout Factor: The whole book deals with death, our fear of it, and how we wrestle with it, so...the whole thing is creepy. I'm not a cat person anyway, so when Church is described after he 'comes back', it gives me the heebie jeebies.

That Ending Though: I don't like endings where the characters make obviously bad choices for themselves moving forward and Louis just can't seem to help himself, so that was annoying.

Overall Thoughts: This is, hands down, the scariest SK book I've read so far. While that doesn't necessarily bother me, it was also creepy and made me think about my own mortality more than I was comfortable with, so I didn't like it as much as I probably should have. Bonus: Having Dexter (Michael C. Hall) reading the audiobook was a creepy match made in heaven.

Total Rating: 6.9 monkey paws (out of 10)

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"If being a kid is about learning how to live, then being a grown-up is about learning how to die." - Dennis Guilder

Arnie Cunningham is, by all accounts, a loser in his high school: his one saving grace being best friend Dennis, who is on the football team. That all changes when Arnie buys a 1958 Plymouth Fury whom the previous owner (Roland LeBay) refers to as Christine.

The car starts controlling Arnie as it did the previous owner. Arnie gives it life and it starts a killing spree, anyone who stands in 'her' or Arnie's way. Dennis has to find a way to control Arnie and separate him from Christine before She takes care of everyone they care about.

Where in Maine are we?: We aren't, believe it or not! This story takes place in Libertyville, Pennsylvania, but the town stands in for anytown, USA.

Where in the King Timeline are we?: Book #20, Novel #13

Connection to Previous King Books: Relatively singular. That's not a King title, although it could be. This book seems to be a one-off.

Connection to The Dark Tower: There doesn't seem to be any.

Good Guy #1: Dennis Guilder. The man cares about his friend. Sure, he stole the girl, but you would too. Plus it saved them all from Christine.

Good Guy #2: Leigh Cabot. Said stolen girl. She fell in love with Arnie's quirkiness, but there was only room for one lady in Arnie's life.

Bad Guy #1: Christine, and/or whatever demon bitch that inhabited her. I mean, she came to life and killed people. Game Over.

Bad Guy #2: Will Darnell. I hate to leave the main human character out here, but Arnie was possessed. His boss was of sound mind and body when he did all his terrible stuff.

Freakout Factor: Since there was no making out with this car, I would have to go with the killings, especially at the gas station. Pretty gruesome stuff.

That Ending Though: It is left vague in typical King fashion, which is ok in this case, since that's sort of the car's theme. The fact that nobody ends up with the girl seems messed up.

Overall Thoughts: I liked this way more than I thought I would. The character development is top notch which we've come to expect from a King novel.

Total rating: 7.5 autonomous pistons (out of 10)

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“There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering” David Adley

This is a story about stories: The titular story being the main attraction. The story we are reading is narrated by David Adley, a lawyer, who is invited to a strange club where members tell stories to each other. After David tells us about the club, he recounts the tale that stays with him the most.

As an old doctor tells it, it is a true story about a woman he helped with delivery early in his career. She was determined to deliver the baby, even though it is out of wedlock. He teaches her the breathing method, an early version of Lamaze and she continues to do it even after her cab crashes in the ice on the way to the hospital.

Where in Maine are we: Neither outer or inner story take place in Maine as they both appear to take place in New York City

Where in King Timeline are we: Book #19, Different Seasons Novella #4

Connection to previous King Books: None to previous works

Connection to the Dark Tower: Nothing proven, but fans believe this club may exist within the DT universe

Good Guy #1: Let's go with the doctor, since it was his story the book focused on and he helped the young mother when no one else would.

Good Guy #2: David is more neutral storyteller, so the young mother Sandra is a good candidate here

Bad Guys #1 and #2: David mentions a few run-ins with members of the club, but really gets along with most of them. I will give the bad guys to all those that wouldn't help the pregnant woman a slow to progress 1930's America

Freakout Factor: The details of the car accident and how Sandra continues to breathe are pretty damn haunting

That Ending Though: Really solid. A nice clean way to wrap up a complicated short story.

Overall Thoughts: I actually love this story...and the story within the story. If it weren't for the preposterously good Shawshank, this would be my favorite of the Different Seasons stories. Captures the imagination and makes you think.

Total Rating: 7.3 mystical fireplaces (Out of 10)

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"I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was 12 - Jesus, did you?" Gordie

Gordie is a storyteller who wants to grow to be an author. (We actually learn through a flash forward he does just that. When Gordie and his buddies: Vern, Teddy and Chris set out of a trip to see a dead body, it turns into quite the tale. This novella is basically that tale, with a few other stories sprinkled in seemlessly.

It becomes clear that the boys are not just out to see a body; they are escaping the various problems they have in their lives and attempting desperately to hang onto their childhood. With the juxtaposition of a boy around their age with his life taken away, the boys cling even harder to their happiness and become protective of the body.

Where in Maine are we?: The boys live in Castle Rock, the dead body is in Chamberlain

Where in the King Timeline are we? Book #18, Different Seasons Novella #3,

Connection to previous King books: Like most books set in Castle Rock, there are a lot. It includes a reference to Shawshank state pen, the town of Salem's Lot, Sheriff Bannerman (Cujo, Dead Zone) and Cujo himself

Connection to The Dark Tower: Nothing of note

Good Guy #1: Gordie LeChance. Our narrator is also our guiding light as the storyteller of note

Good Guy #2: The rest of the gang. Chris is Gordie's best friend. Vern and Teddy are also loyal members and special mention goes to Ray Brower, the titular stiff, whom drives all the action.

Bad Guy #1: Ace Merrill. Not evil, necessarily, as many other villains are, but a nasty bastard all the same. Ace is the 'leader' of a gang of older boys, including some our heroes' brothers. Even when you beat Ace, you can expect a beating from him later.

Bad Guy #2: Milo. I could go with others in Ace's gang, but they're a dime a dozen. The junkyard owner sicks his dog Chopper on the boys and also openly mocks them.

Freakout Factor: Like the movie Stand By Me which is based on the novella, the part that gets me in the story about the pie-eating contest where everyone starts vomitting.

That Ending Though: The end of the action is satisfying for the gang even though they know there will be repercussions. That is flattened a little when you find out what happened to all the main characters.

Overall Thoughts: While I like the novella, I appreciate Stand By Me more, because it was able to trim the fat. I thought the excerpt from Gordie's novel added next to nothing and drug on longer than needed. But overall, it was a good coming of age tale with great characters worthy of the movie treatment it got.

Total Rating: 7.2 Blueberry Pies (out of 10)

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“Sometimes, the past don't rest so easy. Why else do people study history?” Dussander

Todd Bowden is a pretty typical, almost ideal American teen: Lots of friends, good grades, sports star. But, unlike most normal teens, Bowden is obsessed with the Holocaust; especially the torture involved. He locates an ex-Nazi in hiding near his house and makes the old man tell him stories or he will expose him to the authorites.

The two continue this ballet, each trying to gain the upper hand to keep the thumb on the other. The stakes get raised when each, on their own, starts offing vagrants on the side. They get entangled with the authorities when Dussander, the Nazi, has a heart attack and the bodies are found in his basement.

Where in Maine are we? King didn't want any of this stank on his home state, setting the story in California

Where in the King Timeline are we? Book #17, Different Seasons Novella #2

Connection to previous King books: Dussander mentions starting a bank account in the state of Maine and even mentions Andy Dufrene

Connection to the Dark Tower: None, thank goodness

Good Guy #1: I am tempted not to put anyone as this book is full of terrible people, but I will list the slight foils to our baddies. Ed French is the counselor at Todd's school who starts putting things together

Good Guy #2: Morris Heisel is a Holocaust survivor who gets put in the same hospital room as Dussander

Bad Guy #1: Todd Bowden. Normally, a real life Nazi would be the default bad guy, but Bowden not only wants to be one, he gets off on the idea...literally.

Bad Guy #2: Kurt Dussander. He has done terrible things in a past life and can't quite seem to get away from them.

Freakout Factor: Uh, have you been paying attention? The whole novella is creepy as hell

That ending though: It seems right enough what happens although you would hope for more pain inflicted on our main characters

Overall Thoughts: I absolutely hated reading this. Not because it was poorly written: it wasn't. I was uncomfortable the whole time and not in the normal edge of my seat style when I read King books. Every one is so unlikable and the connections between Bowden and Dussander and Dussander and Heisel are way too convenient

Total Rating: 3.8 cringes (out of 10)

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“It always comes down to just two choices. Get busy living, or get busy dying.” Red

You know the story: Andy Dufresne is wrongfully sent to Shawshank prison for life and befriends several inmates, including our narrator, Red. He also gets in good with the guards by doing their taxes and making them a lot of money. This affords him several rewards that most prisoners don't get.

Red is a man that can get things and it's no different for Andy. He gets him some rock carving tools and several posters of shapely women for his prison wall. Well, Surprise! Andy has been secretly digging through his wall and covering up the hole with the posters. Andy sends word from Zijuatenejo. Happy endings all the way around.

Where in Maine are we? Shawshank is located on the outskirts of fictional mainstay, Castle Rock.

Where in the KIng Timeline are we? Book #16, Different Seasons Novella #1,

Connection to Previous Books: Many books refer to Maine State Penitentiary. In this novella and the movie, Shawshank is listed as the state prison.

Connection to the Dark Tower: In Song of Susannah, they mention the Maine State Pen (Shawshank)

Good Guy #1: Andy Dufresne, he tunneled his way through three football fields of the worst shit imaginable. Most of us can't make it through the first one

Good Guy #2: Red. He's a man that knows how to get things. A man like that comes in handy.

Bad Guy #1: Warden Norton - this obtuse son of a bitch knows Andy is innocent and kills the only man who can prove it.

Bad Guy #2: The Sisters. These aren't your mom's sisters. They prefer sexual assault to Christmas sweaters.

Freakout Factor: The aforementioned assaults or crawling through shit. Take your pick

That ending though: To be honest, I was a little disappointed with the ending because Red is telling the tale from prison instead of the beaches of Mexico

Overall Thoughts: This was my first time reading King's version and I have no idea what took me so long. I think the brilliance of the movie makes you forget that a lot of that brilliance was included in the original novella. To think that these characters and their storylines that I've loved for damn near 30 years were dreamed up by Sai King makes me revere him even more.

Total Rating: 9.0 rock hammers (out of 10)

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Go then, there are other worlds than these. ~ Jake Chambers

Roland Deschain is the last of his kind, a Gunslinger. He follows a man in black across a desert in a world that has moved on. The few people he comes across on his journey seem to fear, worship or hate gunslingers: some times all three. Jake Chambers, a teen from a different world (ours, it seems) meets Roland at a waystation and joins him on his journey.

Jake and Roland follow the path of the man in black and palaver, or talk things over, while they go. Roland finds out Jake died in his world and that is around the time he ends up in Roland's world. The gunslinger has a sneaking suspicion Jake will die in this world as well. He meets up with the man in black alone and is told a prophecy that sets up the next books in the Dark Tower Series.

Where in Maine are we? We aren't. Far from it, Dude.

Where in the King Timeline are we? Book #15, Novel #12, Dark Tower #1

Connection to previous King books: The man in black is referred to as Legion and Flagg, both names of the face of evil in The Stand.

Connection to The Dark Tower: This bad boy is the start of the epic series

Good Guy #1: Roland Deschain. Duh. He is him.

Good Guy #2: Jake Chambers. Man, Jake just keep getting the shaft, but deserves so much better. I sure hope he gets redemption later in the series....

Bad Guy #1: The man in black. Marten that was, Flagg, Walter, Richard Fannin...whatever you call him, he's bad.

Bad Guy #2: This is a tough one, because everyone who was bad in this book acted that way because the man in black had them under some kind of spell. The slow mutants get my vote, because God knows what they would do to our heroes if they caught them.

Freakout Factor: How about Roland fornicating a demon to save Jake from it's clutches...that do anything for you?

That Ending Though: Not my favorite, as it just ends with the two characters going their separate ways and waiting for the next book.

Overall Thoughts: The first DT book is pretty damn good. King's take on Tolkien's world building gets a little weird in this one, just a little taste of what is to come. A pretty perfect way for a pretty perfect series to start.

Total Rating: 8.0 jawbones (out of 10)

[thoughtplickens]

In the year 2025, the best men don't run for president, they run for their lives... ~Ben Richards

Ben Richards is a man that feels like he's got nothing to lose. It's the year 2025 and his daughter is in need of medicine that the family can't afford. In this dystopian backdrop, citizens can only turn to the Games Federation to compete on national television for prizes and cash.

Richards qualifies for the the most dangerous game: The Running Man, if is basically him on the run while almost everyone is trying to kill him. Richards lasts longer than most in the game and becomes a national sensation. He becomes more and more disgusted with the way the poor are being treated and decides to destroy the whole system, in spectacular fashion.

Where in Maine are we? Portland at one point, but not for long. Richards is from the Midwest and travels all over the place running from the hunters.

Where in the King Timeline are we? Book #14, Novel #11, Bachman Book #4

Connection to previous King works? No obvious ones

Connection to the Dark Tower? Nothing specific

Good Guy #1: Ben Richards. This is one of those No Duh hero choices. Ben's fighting for all us little guys.

Good Guy #2: Bradley Throckmorton. The Boston area gang member is sympathetic to Richards cause and he and his family help Richards get through several hurdles

Bad Guy #1: Dan Killian. It would be easy to pick the entire Network as the big baddie, but as the show's producer and target of Richard's ultimate attack, Killian'll do.

Bad Guy #2: Evan McCone. He is the head Hunter and is billed as a really bad dude, but seems to be easily outsmarted by our boy.

Freakout Factor: Richards dreams of a grisly scene where his wife and daughter are killed.

That ending though: Pretty damn satisfying!

Overall Thoughts: I like the book more than the movie which I watched around the same time of reading the book. They are vastly different. The choice that Richards ultimately chooses is more defined and drawn out in the book. Well paced and exciting throughout.

Rating: 8.1 outdated videotapes (out of 10)

[thoughtplickens]

"The world was full of monsters, and they were all allowed to bite the innocent and the unwary" ~ Narrator

Cujo, the St. Bernard, is a good boy until one day he isn't. He gets bitten by a rabid bat while exploring a hole and not only becomes rabid himself but seems to inhabit some of the town's evil presence last behind by serial killer Frank Dodd. Sound confusing? Not in the hands of King.

Several happenstances involving Cujo's owners, the Cambers, and the Trenton family lead to Donna Trenton and her son, Tad trapped in a car at the Cambers house with nobody home and a rabid Cujo attacking the car any chance he gets. This showdown is where we get most of the book's tension.

Where in Maine are we? This is the first book to have it's main setting in fictional Castle Rock.

Where in the King timeline are we? This is book #13, novel #10

Connection to previous King works: Frank Dodd was introduced and killed in The Dead Zone

Connection to The Dark Tower: Both the book and character are referenced in the meta storyline where King is a character. Pharmacy in Bridgeton mentioned in both stories

Good Guy #1: A lot of characters try their best, but the one that fails least often is Vic Trenton. Besides his wife and son, who are trapped in a car, Vic is the character we are set up to root for the most. Due to infidelity, Donna falls down the list below the guys in her life.

Good Guy #2: Poor Tad just wants to keep the monsters away. He is convinced there's one living in his closet, then he gets up close and personal with a real one.

Bad Guy #1: Cujo. Through no fault of his own, the titular pooch is definitely the scariest character and is ruthless when it comes to going on the attack.

Bad Guy #2: Steve Kemp bedded down Donna Trenton and tried to force himself on her when she broke it off. He also came back to the house later and defiled it...in many ways.

Freakout Factor: Every scene when Cujo attacked a human was explicitly explained and made me cringe ever time.

That ending though: This story was set up to have one of the most conventional endings of a King book and that is what happens for the most part. You know everything is dovetailing to a final showdown between human and beast and that people are closing in on finding the pair to save them.

Overall Thoughts: I had heard this one got monotonous and stayed with the psyche of those trapped in the car too much. I didn't find that at all. I thought the way King set everything to happen just perfectly for them to be trapped with nobody around for miles was pretty on point and there was only one small part where I thought he dwelled on Donna's inner thoughts for a little too long.

Total Rating: 7.5 Raspberry Zingers (Out of 10)

[thoughtplickens]

All places are the same unless your mind changes. There’s no magic place to get your mind right. If you feel like shit, everything you see looks like shit.

George Dawes

Barton 'George' Dawes is having a rough go of it. The state is trying to take control of his house, so they can put a nice new highway up in it's place. But Dawes cares not for progress and starts to crack trying to figure out a way to stop the powers that be from bulldozing.

In the process, he loses his job, his wife and his sanity. In the midst of all this, Dawes still hasn't gotten over the death of his son, Charlie. Dawes still has conversations with son in his mind, although those dwindle as he goes closer and closer to the edge. After a series of bad ideas on Dawes part, he has a standoff at the house with police and construction authorities.

Where in Maine are we? We aren't! This takes place in any town USA although is probably set in the Midwest.

Where in the King timeline are we? This is book #12, novel #9 and Bachman book #3

Connection to previous King works: A machine at the laundromat where Dawes works is called The Mangler, which was the title of a story in Night Shift

Connection to the Dark Tower: None, although it is rumored a priest in the story may be Father Callahan.

Good Guy #1: Oof. Nobody is really a good guy in this story and very few are likable. However, Mary, Dawes' put upon wife didn't really deserve any of the crap heaped on her. She wins by default.

Good Guy #2: Double Oof. Let's go outside the box and give it to the reporter covering the standoff who goes on the win a Pulitzer for their work.

Bad Guy #1: Barton George Dawes...with a bullet. Some may sympathize with the protagonist, but none would condone his choices. He is pretty much to blame for every situation he finds himself in.

Bad Guy #2: The Man. Dammit! This road didn't have to get built, but God forbid anybody stands in the way of manifest destiny. Pity the little guy. And yes, I can choose both sides as the bad guy. Like I said, there are no heroes here.

Freakout Factor: Not much to freak out about unless you count mental anguish...and there's a good point to be made.

That ending though: In true King fashion, nobody wins but everyone gets redemption. How does he do it?

Overall thoughts: Why I hate that people actually lose their homes in this way, it's hard to sympathize when Dawes keeps making horrible decision after horrible decision. It's grimy and depressing, not exactly my cup of tea, but it is very thought-provoking so it's got that going for it.

Total rating: 6.1 Weatherby rifles (out of 10)

[thoughtplickens]

All of this was well meaning bullshit. But bullshit is still bullshit and will never be mistaken for McDonald's secret sauce. - Stephen King

Well, this post will be quicker than most. This book is non-fiction so we don't have to worry about the plot, theme, character, etc.

When I started this journey through Constant Readerdom, I told myself I would read the entire book, whatever I felt about it. That has been amended: I will finish any FICTION book from King.

What King did in this book is talk about what makes 'horror' horror and what it means to scare us. The problem is he takes a very scenic route to get to the point. There are asides, parentheses, and subject changes...sometimes in mid-sentence!

In my opinion there was about 100 useful pages in the 400 the tome topped out at. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I had to tap out about 2/3 through. Since I didn't finish, I wouldn't feel right given it a rating.

(Although if I did, it would be 4.0 layers of nonsense - out of 10) See what I did there?

[thoughtplickens]

You're a firestarter honey...just one big Zippo lighter. Andy McGee

A man and a woman that were in an experiment gone awry in college fall in love and get married. They both have levels of telepathic powers and when they have a daughter, they find out she has their power times two and can start fires with her mind.

A secret government agency called The Shop wants to kill those from the experiment with any powers and succeed in doing so with the wife. They hunt down the man and daughter to use her to create a weapon against our enemies. They get way more than the bargained for.

Where in Maine are we: We are all over the map in this book, but the closest we come to King's fair state is upstate New York.

Where in the King Timeline are we: Novel #8, Book #11

Connection to previous books: The telekinesis is reminiscent of Carrie and The Shop is apparently connected The Arrowhead Project that may or may not have created the Mist.

Connection to the Dark Tower: Nothing obvious

Good Guy #1: Charlie McGee. While her father works doggedly to protect his daughter, she is the one ultimately that is the hero.

Good Guy #2: Andy McGee. Shout out to ol' Irv Manders and his old lady for sheltering the pair, but Andy's paternal instincts and sacrifices put him on the list.

Bad Guy #1: John Rainbird. This dude is extra creepy. Even more so because you never know his real intentions but he's obviously obsessed with Charlie and betrays her confidence.

Bad Guy #2: Captain Hollister. Yes, Professor Wanless injected the subjects way-back-when for questionable motives, but even he wanted to see the project and everything with it shut down. Hollister insisted it keep going to The Shop's (and the McGees) detriment.

Freakout Factor: There's some good descriptions of the fires and people cooking, but every description of Rainbird thinking about Charlie freaked me out.

That Ending Though: This was a pretty decent ending and wrapped everything up. The media that gets involved is a little contrived, but overall pretty good.

Overall Thoughts: I'm not especially a fan of King's books that focus on the big, bad government. We have too much of that on the news. This one though, sets up The Shop as 'fictional' agency and makes them pretty believable and unlikable as a sort of Dark Side that needs to be destroyed. Pretty good allegory for absolute power corrupting absolutely.

Total Rating: 7.0 Lot Six pills (out of 10)