thornedclover - Tumblr blog

thornedclover · 3 months ago

Text

if it's not you (i don't wanna talk)

ship: anora x reader (gender neutral)

content: no warnings except ani being a disney adult <3

summary: security!reader and ani have been hooking up. gaining her trust is hard after vanya.

word count: 1600+

Ani takes a long, pissed-off drag of her cigarette, standing outside of HQ with little more than her puffer jacket over her shoulders. The rest of her clothes are typical work attire for the erotic dancer, mesh stockings, high sparkly pleasers, a tight red dress with loose straps that accentuates her figure but comes off with a single motion during her routine. As she exhales a plume of smoke, her eyes lock with yours. You're standing barely ten feet away, stationed by the entrance with your arms crossed as you check everyone who goes in and out. Life as part of HQ's security detail has gotten a lot more interesting after you and Ani started hooking up. Right now, you try not to let your gaze flit over her body, clearing your throat and staying on task.

For her part, Ani also doesn't let your illicit affair slip, talking to Lulu as if you're not even there. "What a fucking waste of time, Lu!" Ani spits, turning to her best friend and fellow dancer who's leaning back against the brick wall, vape poking out from her mouth. "Did you notice the way those assholes have been acting all night? Not tipping for shit, and sure as hell didn't wanna go into a private."

"Fuckin' cheapskates. Tell me about it, girl," Lulu agrees. "I convinced this old dude back to room 6 and for what? Barely enough cash to cover my cab fare home!"

"You'd think they could show a little appreciation, y'know? Buying overpriced drinks and getting sloppy drunk, but not a fucking dime to show for it," Ani scoffs, accent sharp and biting. "I forgot how much this place sucks. Two weeks away and I'm already bitching."

"If he didn't take you on that Disney World honeymoon, you should sell the ring and go yourself, at least," Lulu offers.

"Yeah, tell me about it. Maybe if Jimmy stops being such an asshat about the 'long leave' I took."

They've been swapping this cig and vape as they talked for the last ten minutes, something you had to start counting since Jimmy told you to limit the dancers' smoke breaks to 15 minutes, tops. If you give Ani some extra time to cool off on the down low, no one had to know. She still had that faraway look in her eye sometimes, after coming back from her 'failed marriage' as Diamond would call it.

Your footsteps crunch on the pavement as you approach the two, clipboard in hand. Ani stands up straight at the sight of you, and you hate the way she tenses up, jaw set. You miss the stolen flirtation, the steamy glances she'd throw your way, and the touches you'd let graze over Ani's skin when no one was watching. Miss the way she'd laugh at your jokes even if no one else heard them. Miss the way she'd roll her eyes but melt into your touch whenever you held her.

"Five minutes 'til you have to go back in, Lulu. Think Jimmy mentioned one of your regulars is coming?" A little white lie. You wanna talk to Ani, wanna get things sorted after the last time you two 'hung out'. She's been avoiding being alone with you since last Tuesday, when you left before she woke up, so you haven't had the chance to explain. Explain that it was a family emergency, explain that you didn't plan on leaving her, explain that her bed is one of the few places you can actually rest and relax.

Fuck. You're so sprung.

"Oh, Peter?" Lulu giggles, already fixing up her skirt and her hair at the mention of her regular. "Alright, I'm heading back in. You coming with, Ani?"

Ani's arms cross over her chest, something you can tell is a defensive posture but hopefully Lulu only takes as the same annoyance at the Headquarters cheapskates. "Nah, I'll just finish this," she tells her friend, flicking off some ash from her cigarette and giving Lulu an 'I'm fine' smile. "Go on ahead, I'll see you inside." The blonde accepts this easily, flashing you a polite goodbye as she enters through HQ's double doors.

A beat. Ani isn't looking at you, apparently having decided that the glowing ember at the end of her cig is fascinating. She passes it to you wordlessly but doesn't wanna be the one break the silence. Fair enough.

You sigh. Taking a quick drag since she offered, your words come out with the smoke into the hazy air. "Can we talk? I know I fucked up, but-"

Even that is enough to make the stripper scoff, a bitter laugh escaping her cherry red lips. "Talk?" Anora shakes her head. "Last time we talked, you left." An accusatory finger jabs at your chest, the pointed acrylic of her nail digging in and making it hurt almost as much as her hateful tone. "Before the crack of dawn. Without. A. Damn. Word." Her voice rises with each word, and you glance towards the door to make sure no one overheard.

"Listen to me. I had an emergency. Family shit." Her bitter expression softens the slightest bit, going from a grimace to a frown. "Not that I gotta explain myself to you, since you made it plenty clear we're just fooling around but... I'm not the type to fuck around on a woman I care about."

"Care about?" Ani nods, all sarcastic as she nods and finally, finally looks up into your eyes. "Don't make me fucking laugh, OK? I don't have time for this. I got shit to do. Break's almost over."

"I'll tell Jimmy your break just started now," you barter, but she just laughs, stubbing out her cigarette on the wall and turning on her heel. "Don't run away."

Before you realise it, you've grabbed her elbow. Anora stops. She didn't have to, your touch is barely holding her there, and she could stomp away easily if she really didn't want to hear you out. It tells you she wants to hear this. Wants some assurance that this isn't it, this isn't all you see her as. "Run away? You're the one who ran off, you jackass." And you hate the implicit comparison in that, hate that she's seeing you like her immature dirtbag of an ex.

"I didn't mean to. I should've told you, I know. I didn't think about how it'd look." It's not an explanation but it'll have to be enough. "And I do care. I thought I made that obvious."

She looks at you for a long moment, staring, searching for something in your eyes like she's desperate to believe you. That you really do care, in some fucked-up small way.

"Oh yeah? You care?" she says, in that higher voice she puts on whenever she's mocking whatever poor soul got on her bad side. It stings, but not so bad as the idea that she thinks she's hard to care about. Finds it impossible now, after her runaway pathetic excuse of a husband that left her broken and back on the Headquarters' roster.

"Yes, I do."

She rolls her eyes, but there's no affection in them now. Not like the last time she did it when you two were cuddled up in her bed. "So what was the emergency? Hm?" Ani tilts her head, stalking closer, getting up in your space. "No, actually, you know what? Fuckin' tell me a single thing you know about me that isn't about how good of a fuck I am, or how I feel stretched out on your fingers."

Without skipping a beat, you surprise even yourself when the next words fall out of your mouth. Little things you've noticed when you sleep over, like how she decorates her space or what things make her pretty face fall. "You collect those stupid little Disney figurines that they sell in mystery boxes but don't open them right away because it gives you something to look forward to," you tell her. "Your full name's Anora Mikheeva. You don't like the way it sounds when someone pronounces it wrong, but you don't like when they pronounce it right either. Sounds like your sister when she's yelling at you."

Blinking rapidly, she looks at you like you've grown a second head. You think for a moment that you said too much, showed Ani all your cards, before she starts laughing. "Fuck. What are you, a stalker?" And well, the way she smiles now actually looks impressed. "Fine. I guess you don't just wanna get into my panties, whatever. Kinda sweet of you."

Ani's gaze drops to the ground again, and she kicks at a pebble with the toe of her pleaser. She chews on her bottom lip as she thinks about what you said. You're right, of course, she's got those cute little fuckers lined up on her shelf because they make her smile each afternoon when she's fixing up her hair tinsel. The mystery boxes are a little thrill she gives herself, a silly hobby that makes her feel like a kid again. Cause she grew up too fast.

"Well, so what?" Ani says, but her voice lacks its usual bite. She wants to stand her ground, but she's unconvinced. Noticing things like that is nice, but doesn't explain how you could leave without warning, doesn't convince her that she's cared about for once. "That don't mean shit. You don't know the real me." She wraps her arms around herself tightly, feeling suddenly vulnerable. "No one does." Ani shakes her head, trying to dispel the thoughts racing through her mind.

Your fingertips linger on her skin, as she shifts her arm away, but at least she doesn't turn to go. "I want to," you tell her. "Give me a chance to try."

You must have sounded just genuine enough, because you feel the tell-tale sign of Anora melting into your touch. Accepting your presence. "Buy me an extra mystery box and we're even. And don't even think about ditching me again."

#anora #anora 2024 #anora mikheeva #anora x reader #anora mikheeva x reader

442 notes · View notes

thornedclover · 3 months ago

Text

I have no words only “SHE'S SO PRETTY SO CUTE SHE'S KILLING ME WITH HER SWEETNESS OMGGG I LOVE HER”

#mikey madison

104 notes · View notes

thornedclover · 3 months ago

Text

not the sped-up audio, i'm dead XD

#anora #anora 2024 #anora mikheeva #igor #mikey madison #yura borisov

308 notes · View notes

thornedclover · 3 months ago

Text

AND WE GOT THIS BABIES OMG I MISSED YOU SO MUCH AMBER FREEMAN

#scream #amber freeman #mikey madison

35 notes · View notes

thornedclover · 3 months ago

Text

OH MY GODDESS

#mikey madison

123 notes · View notes

thornedclover · 3 months ago

Text

EVERYTHING HE COULDN'T

Anora "Ani" Mikheeva × Igor | Anora (2024)

CHAPTER 1. Used to You.

.☘︎ ݁˖

SUMMARY. Ani is a miserable wreck.

WORD COUNT. 2,615.

WARNINGS. none.

TAGS. emotional hurt.

AUTHORS NOTE.

chapter name inspiration: Used to You by Luke Combs

For an hour, Anora cried against Igor’s chest. The brunt of her emotions took control for the first 20 minutes as her sobs kept consistent prior to coming in waves for the hour’s remainder. Meanwhile, Igor stayed silent, only guarding her head and occasionally rubbing her back.

Everything was a rush to say the least; a two-day rodeo following the exhilarating high of an illicit affair that had the trodden red dust still swirling in its wake. Every word, every fight, every feeling was reminisced in burning colors. Red, green, black, blue. So many emotions in so little time. Miserable at its best and devastating at its worst. Control was overthrown by cruel fate that manifested itself into a forever winter. After fighting for the upper hand, in which she had gotten used to, she lost; a twist that left her spinning until she had everything stripped from her in a snap of an oligarch's fingers. The life she had dreamed of, put so much energy into, defended, chased after, and fought for with every ounce of her being had been shattered.

What a tragically beautiful chapter that had turned beautifully tragic.

…Then silence.

2 minutes.

5 minutes.

10 minutes.

Finally, Ani pushed herself up, looked Igor in the eyes as she resituated her skirt, and slowly crawled off of him. She stayed put in the passenger seat for a few moments before leaving him alone in his grandmother’s freezing car. And although he watched her the entire time until she disappeared behind the door of her apartment, she never looked back.

4 DAYS LATER.

Shadows raced across the walls of Anora’s bedroom as the train’s shuttering competed with the loud silence. Despite having more than enough time to catch up on sleep, Ani’s head pounded against her pillow. She blinked open her eyes to catch the late afternoon sun slipping past her curtains for the first time in days. But it didn’t faze her. Rolling over with a sigh, she just closed her eyes again in hopes to fall back asleep. It was the only thing that would keep her from dwelling on the reasons why she was still lying lifeless on her bed after four days.

But even then, haunting dreams held her hostage time after time. Neon lights and nicotine mist painted the very first night her path crossed Ivan’s. Then came reckless nights across town, being twisted in silk sheets, and the most lavish treatments that led her to a quick marriage. He said ‘I do’ and put a 4-karat ring on her finger, sealing their deal for life — to be each other’s best friend, protector, and faithful spouse; they promised to love, honor, and cherish each other and made a bet on forever.

Forever… Until he decided that forever was too long. Too much to handle.

The second he found out that his parents were on his tail for marrying a sex worker, he broke his vows and fled. He left her to fend for their marriage and herself. Tooth and nail, she held her own. Bruised and exhausted, she chased the streets to find him. She begged and pleaded in true lover’s fashion to save her Cinderella story that she deserved but to no avail. His parents got into his head, his immaturity got the best of him, and she signed her name in Las Vegas, Nevada to annul their marriage.

Everything they did, everything they were, meant nothing. It was void, forgotten, burned to the ground and six feet under. He was in Russia, forced to make a working life of his own while she laid lifeless, cornered by her oppressing thoughts and tangled emotions.

Was she ignorant for believing something so grand could happen to her? Was she right for thinking that someone as high-up as Ivan could ever love someone like her and everyone would be okay with it? Was it all a fantasy designed to lead her on just to leave her in the middle of nowhere?

The whole thing had been a shitshow, and the breakthrough of it all was just the beginning. The accomplice who had bruised her, “assaulted” her, and held her hostage was the one she ended up confiding in — he pulled her close to his chest and allowed her to let it all go. Pain. Frustration. Anger. Fear. Heartbreak. Lack of control. Everything that had been dismissed by her scrappy, brazen front became too much when that psychopath made a move to kiss her. Despite the fact that she attempted to seduce him, it was a shock that blindsided her completely.

And she was drowning in the aftermath of it all.

Her phone vibrated for the thousandth time on her bedside table. Lulu had been sending countless texts; some were questions, some were updates, and some were simple ‘I miss you’ and ‘I’m always here if you need me’ reminders.

That was another bother. Work.

She would almost rather be dead than go crawling back to HQ. She was the one who got out and finally had something to her name other than being one of the most popular workers at the club. She was paid decently by dozens of clients, both new and established, but how was she supposed to go back there when all of her ex-co-workers would know the truth. Her ticket to freedom was only good for two weeks before it was set ablaze, and she wasn’t ready to face the fact that Diamond was right about her fate. She loathed the thought.

Unfortunately for her, being a sex worker was all she’d ever known. She didn’t want to work as a café waitress or cashier/merchandiser at some convenience store. She didn’t have a diploma or a degree under her belt and, damn sure, didn’t have the money for college. Well, she did, but she was sharing an apartment with her sister, and couldn’t just let her pay for everything else that wasn’t her tuition. She wasn’t that insensitive.

Through her countless thoughts, knocking thrummed her door. Speak of the Devil.

Vera slowly opened the door. She wasn’t expected to be home from work until 6:00, but here she was. Thankfully, she wasn’t a hoverer, despite being the older sister. She knew Ani needed her space and would come around when she was ready, but it still didn’t hurt to offer food, water, or a shoulder to lean on. It was obvious, from the first time she saw her back home that something had gone down, but, again, Vera knew pushing the issue would only make things worse. They were both stubborn but knew, most of the time, when to hold their tongues. They knew when to leave each other alone and tried to not pry when the other was in a mood.

“Hey,” she started calmly, holding a steaming mug in her hand. “I just wanted to see how you were doing.” She was surprised to see her sister facing the door rather than seeing her back. “I made tea if you want some.”

After ignoring her the past several times she had come into her room, Ani finally spoke to her. “I thought you were working ‘til 6:00.” Her voice was quiet and dull.

“We weren’t too busy, so Frankie let me leave early. I guess everyone’s staying in to avoid the snow.” It was nice to hear her little sister’s voice, regardless of how unlively it sounded. Vera had only heard Ani’s door open and close when she used the bathroom or showered, nothing more. She never talked besides that. “Can I get you anything?”

“No.”

A pitied weight dropped in Vera’s stomach. “Will you, at least, eat or drink something if I brought it to you?”

But the other refused, voice now a little harder. “I don’t want anything.”

Vera shifted her weight, now matching her sister’s tone. “You can’t live like this forever. You need to do something to take care of yourself. I can’t do it for you.”

“I never asked you to take care of me.”

“Well, sitting in your room, miserable, isn’t doing shit. It’s impractical and doesn’t help bring in money to pay for everything. I’m not busting my ass just so you can lay around all day, wasting your life away.”

Anora picked her head up to glare at her older sister. That’s when the other knew she had overstepped her bounds. She didn’t know what had happened or how it had happened other than it had something to do with her recent marriage. In between those words of frustration, she was worried. Very worried. Her younger sister wasn’t the type to let things get to her, and if she did, she was able to get over it with a flick of her tinsel-laced hair. This was day four, and she hadn’t shown any signs of letting up.

Vera let her shoulders drop. “I’m worried about you,” she admitted in an apologetic way.

“I’ll live, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Ani nonchalantly replied, laying her head back down on her pillow.

“You know that’s not what I mean.”

The younger sister only kept silent, not bothering to brush back the few fallen strands of hair from her face. Deep down, she appreciated her sister’s concern, but didn’t have the energy to accept it. It was awkward and made her feel more disarmed than she already was before becoming suddenly irritable. So instead of taking her sister’s nagging, she mustered up the will to push off her covers and get up. “You don’t need to worry about me.” Her head spun while her legs were forced to stabilize herself, but she tried not to let any of that show. She only advanced towards the door, brushing past Vera. “I’ll be fine.”

The older bit back. “You’re obviously not fine.” Watching her sister pass, she couldn’t help but let her gaze travel, catching the dark bruises against her pale skin. One or two were normal for her, knowing that her job was very physical but being covered in them shocked her blind. “How did you get all of those bruises?” she blurted out without thinking. “Did you get into a fight or something?”

Ani instantly regretted getting up. “I said, don’t fucking worry about me,” she snapped.

But Vera grabbed her wrist just before she was out of reach. “Anora��”

The sincere concern ringing in her voice made the younger stop. Not only did she grab her arm, but using her real name — her Russian name — hit more than she ever thought it would. She turned her head to look back at her and knew Vera had seen the twin scratches across her cheek when she reached out to carefully brush them. Then numbness washed over her upon seeing her older sister’s dark eyes pour into her own.

“What happened to you?”

At the kitchen table, Anora explained whatever she could to Vera. She didn’t add in any details, but she definitely didn’t relay every single one. All the while, her sister only sipped on her tea and listened. It wasn’t like her to listen intently, but this time, she did.

When she finished the rundown, she was expecting her older sister to badger her on how ignorant she had been to let this unfold, stupid she was to believe that a Cinderella story like the one she had could ever happen to her, and gullible for falling for someone who was still very young and naïve.

But she kept quiet while staring down at the table’s polished wooden face, processing everything that was just spilt to her.

On the other side, Ani mirrored her. Having told her sister actually helped relieve the pressure that weighed on her chest but made her realize the reality of it all. She lived it, but hearing it come out as a story was completely different. It sounded wild, chaotic, and downright insane. Even still, that’s the way she loved Ivan Zakharov.

Until she didn’t.

“I’m sorry,” Vera spoke up softly. “I can’t imagine going through something like that.” She waited to see if her sister would say something.

Nothing.

“But it’s not your fault.”

Ani lifted her face to look at Vera, almost looking surprised.

“None of what happened is your fault. You don’t choose where you come from or who you come from. If someone can’t accept you for you, then fuck ‘em. That’s on them, not you.” She watched her little sister only stare back at her, reading doubt across her face. “He wasn’t good for you, because you deserve better. You’re better than that, Anora.”

Ani’s skin pricked at Vera’s words. ‘You’re better than that.’ She hadn’t been so sure after being so blind, used, and thrown away. How could she have let herself fall so hard just to crash and burn? She was a sex worker and one hell of a hustler, but she was also somebody’s daughter and sister. Everyone was someone, despite who they were or where they came from. Vera was right; she did nothing to make the Zakharov family see her the way they did. It was their own assumptions and opinions. They didn’t know what kind of person she was yet judged simply by her job alone. It was just hard to see past something that had ruined her whole life… or what it would have been.

“And I’m not just saying that ‘cause I’m your sister,” Vera added on. “Yeah, you’re a stripper, but you’re making a fuckin’ living, and that’s what matters. You’re making the money. You’re doing the work, and you’re damn good at it, too.”

At least her sister approved.

Deciding to leave the Zakharov topic alone, the older sister nodded towards Ani. “Is that what you’re gonna do? You gonna go back to Headquarters?”

Ani looked back down at her own cup, fingers running over the handle. “I don’t know.”

“You should,” the other responded. “Everyone liked you there, didn’t they? Your boss and the other girls.”

“Not everyone,” the younger muttered.

“Still,” Vera rolled her eyes before continuing, “You got a hell of a lotta tips there, too, so it’s not a bad idea. Do what you know. That’s what we were taught, right?”

That’s what her sister didn’t understand. Sure, there was a big chance that she would be welcomed back by most of the girls and even Jimmy, but her pride was the biggest problem. She struck everyone as the kind of person to not care what others thought, but not everything could be overlooked. Could she really swallow her pride, get back on the pole, and get over her once-upon-a-time, happily-ever-after story that had left her heart bleeding?

When Anora didn’t answer, Vera looked for another outlet. “Or you can do something else. It’s up to you, as long as it helps us pay for shit, y’know.” She took a sip of her lukewarm tea, letting her sister think on the thought.

And Ani did. Her stomach turned and twisted at the thought, but she knew she had to do something. Working as a sex worker was all she knew. She was good at it and had more experience than she knew what to do with. Was she supposed to just ‘do what she knew’ or venture outside of her comfort zone to look for something new — somewhere that wouldn’t be so painful to show herself? Somewhere she could start fresh, and no one would know her adversity of a past. Somewhere that doesn’t hold every memory of Ivan Zakharov.

#thornedclover #anora #anora 2024 #anora mikheeva #igor #anora fanfic #mikey madison #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writing blog

35 notes · View notes

thornedclover · 3 months ago

Note

Just saw Anora and got so obsessed w Igor its not funny i need to see more posts about him 😭😭😭😭

Igor’s on such a journey and I love it.

Can you imagine: it’s your birthday and you get a call from the Armenian guy you work for to pick him up at a baptism so you both can check on his boss’s boss’s rich-ass useless son and see if he has or has not married a prostitute. You understand the job — look tough, provide a little muscle if the situation calls for it — and once it’s done you can go return your grandmother’s car from where you borrowed it and visit with her for an hour or so before maybe heading out for a lowkey night to celebrate.

Instead, the rich-ass useless son runs away and you end up having to make sure the girl he married — who takes great offense to being called a prostitute, by the way — doesn’t take off too, and because she won’t stop throwing things and hitting you in the face and screaming you don’t know what else to do except restrain her with a phone cord.

And then she bites you and breaks the Armenian’s nose even as you’ve got her in a hold on top of you.

It’s not exactly what Igor had in mind for the day, is all I’m saying.

As an audience, we also get our expectations turned on their head: Igor, who at first just seems like your standard Slavic hired goon, turns out to have a heart of gold, or at least a soft spot just big enough for a beautiful, foul-mouthed erotic dancer with an impressive left hook. (Although he’s no slouch either, considering how he wields that aluminum bat.) There’s something about her that he really likes, even from the beginning, and you can see him looking out for her and trying (mostly unsuccessfully) to make up for what he did to her back at the house.

I think he admires her brashness, and the way she’s determined to fight for the Cinderella dream that a life with Ivan promised her. In both the courtroom scene and on the tarmac with Ivan’s mother he secretly smiles as he listens to her argue and threaten, even against people far wealthier and more powerful.

(There also seems to be a class element, at least where her conflict with the Zakharovs are concerned. Igor probably doesn’t love the fact that he’s employed by these rich assholes and Ani saying that she’s going to take half their money has him silently cheering her on, because, yeah, fuck them. And when Galina Zakharov winks at him after threatening Ani’s whole existence, he has to look away in shame, because he still works for them, and they think that means they own him.)

I’d love to know when he decides to steal the ring from Toros. Maybe at some point on the plane, after he can see that part of her has given up. It’s a brilliant display of rebellion, made even better by the fact that he waits until the very last minute to give it to her. (Would we have heard all that shit about “hunchback weirdos” and “rape eyes” if he had surprised her with it the first moment they were alone? But Igor is secure enough to take all her insults, and probably likes the fact that she feels safe enough to keep roasting him again and again. “Touché, motherfucker?” she says, and all he can do is giggle.)

Which brings us to the car scene.

The ring is an act of atonement, something to make up for what she’s been through over the past two days — some of which he knows he’s responsible for — and one last fuck you to the family that humiliated her. Igor thinks he’s evening the score before he says goodbye, not realizing that Ani sees it as a gesture she needs to pay back to keep feeling like she’s in control. So she gives him what she thinks he wants — what all men want from her.

Igor’s an adaptive, street-smart guy, but he wasn’t prepared for what she ends up doing. He doesn’t resist, though, taking initiative only once she’s fully on top of him and then just to take her face in his hands. Does some part of him know this is transactional? Does some part of him want it to be real the way Ani wanted Ivan to be real? He wants to pretend at least, and tries to kiss her, only for Ani it’s too real, too much, and she’ll fight to make it stop, like she fights for so many things in her life. But the emotions bubble up anyway, and even through the haze of sex Igor can see she’s in pain, so he pulls her in close and lets her cry, steady and silent as the sobs wrack her body like waves.

It’s a scene that neatly mirrors the one from the living room — him holding her as she’s on top of him — now cast as an expression of vulnerability and care rather than fear and aggression. He’s always been strong enough to hold her, but it’s only at the very end that Ani is willing to be held.

#anora #anora 2024 #igor #anora mikheeva #mikey madison #yura borisov

424 notes · View notes

thornedclover · 3 months ago

Note

hey this isn't so much of a prompt more of a word vomit, I can't stop thinking about Igor in the final car scene.

Like even before she climbs onto his lap, his face is just so wide eyed and vulnerable and when she initiates sex he's almost bewildered and he's just so focused on her and you can tell it's about being WITH her and not just having her body like it was with Vanya.

Like even when he tries to kiss her, i know some people are like 'its so clear she doesnt want it and he's forcing it' but i dont think it's that simple. Like you pointed out, he moves very slowly when he first tries to kiss her and I noticed when she pulls back his reaction seems to be Confusion (also when having sex your brain isnt in the same rational place as it is when you're an audience watching a movie, what's SO CLEAR to us isn't always clear to the characters)

I dunno, Id love your thoughts or even a Igor POV of that scene I'd love if you wanted x

Weirdly enough, Anon, I had someone send an ask on almost this exact same question about five minutes after you did, so I’m just going to answer you both here! (Update: it was you, twice! Thanks for letting me know!)

At some point I’ll probably end up giving the fic treatment to the car scene from Igor’s POV, but for now, I’m more than happy to just offer my humble analysis of what I think is going on.

And it’s even more heartbreaking than I originally thought.

(This got long, so I put it all under a cut.)

From the moment she takes off her jacket, you can just see this mixture of confusion and surprise wash over him. He dropped off her bags on the porch; he clearly thinks she’s going to be getting out of the car shortly. But as she takes off her jacket and turns directly to face him, the seductive expression she makes for men at the club now firmly in place (which is the first time in the scene she’s smiling — or close to it), he’s realizing that she plans to stay in the car for a while longer. Once she climbs in his lap, it begins to click (“Oh, she wants to make out in the car”) and he’s obviously okay with that, based on the way that he tries to move his mouth closer to hers right before and just as she releases the seat lever. By that point, it’s clear he has feelings for her and while going straight to making out may seem like a bit of a jump, there’s the hope that maybe this means she has feelings for him too. And right after his seat falls back, he gives her this disbelieving little grin, and it’s like, oh no, Igor, this is not going to be the sexy little make-out session you’re envisioning right now.

(What makes it so much worse is that she has no intention of kissing him or offering any sort of display of feelings; he’s not even going to get any kind of foreplay beside a preparatory handjob before she gets right to what she sees as the primary transactional act.)

It’s when she starts hiking up her skirt that you can see him getting confused again (even more so when she moves his hands to her ass) and then, when she goes for his waistband, you can see him shift into complete disbelief (and not in the “I can’t believe this is happening” way, but in the “what the hell is happening” way).

I imagine that some part of him wanted to know what was happening enough to stop her, but he’s a man, and a girl he likes is suddenly stroking his dick, and that’s not really a place for rational thought, you know? (Watch his hands as she’s stroking him; he can’t help himself from instinctually squeezing her ass.) He definitely understands that if he says anything or makes some kind of “hey, hold on there” protest, she might stop touching him, and he doesn’t want that to happen.

So mostly it’s a mixture of shock and pleasure as she strokes him, with him closing his eyes and burying his face in her chest as he gives in to the sensation of it. He must know something’s off, but he just doesn’t want it to stop.

Even with all that, he’s still not prepared when she pauses to get her fingers wet and then reaches back down to maneuver him inside her. Whatever he had thought might happen between them at this point, this wasn’t even in the realm of possibility. (The night before she had accused him of wanting to rape her! And now they’re having sex!)

All he can do is just stare at her, wide-eyed, or else close his eyes and just feel what she’s doing to him.

When she finally gets him positioned, she leans back (to create a little more physical — and presumably emotional — distance between them, I imagine), but he continues to look up at her, as if he can’t look away, as if the intimacy of what he thinks they’re sharing can only be expressed through this kind of intense, continual eye contact. And maybe it’s there that he starts to convince himself, despite how fucking weird and off the rails this all is, that because she’s doing this with him, it must mean something, and he must mean something to her. He wants it to be real so badly and you see that hope just shining out of him the whole time she’s moving on top of him. (In an interview I read, Yura Borisov talked about how he saw Igor as a lonely person, and I think it makes sense that Igor would be more invested — or even desperate — to hold onto a connection with Ani.)

As she quickens the pace, she throws her head up and looks away, breaking the connection. That’s when he reaches up to her face, holding it in place and bringing her eyes back to his. He wants her to look at him, to see him, to acknowledge what (he thinks) is happening between them.

And if maybe if it’s real, if the connection they’re making with their bodies is an indication of an actual connection, then he can kiss her. It’s clear he wants to kiss her — he’s been trying to since she climbed into his lap. He arches up super slowly, but clearly intent on moving his mouth closer to hers. I don’t think he’s fully registered that she’s stopped moving on top of him, or that she makes these tiny jerking motions to get out of his grasp. As you said, it’s clear to us as the audience that she’s trying to resist, but to Igor, so caught up in the pleasure of her body and — perhaps even more powerfully — the sheer desire to make this encounter into something deeper and more real, it’s not something he has the capacity to notice.

And then she squeals and pulls away and starts hitting him, and at that point the spell (such as it was for Igor) is broken. He’s completely confused at first, then focused on trying to get control of her limbs so she’ll stop attacking him. This is the girl he remembers from their first meeting, the out of control one who screamed and landed those impressive blows to his face. But like that first meeting, he doesn’t fight back, instead simply restraining her so she doesn’t do any more damage.

For a moment, they just look at each other, barely breathing, and I think it’s here that with everything stripped away, he really does see her. He’s been watching and observing her for the past two days, but now he can see how much of a front she had really been putting on, how much her confrontational bluster and attitude had been hiding. Because underneath all of that, she’s a hurt and heartbroken girl, the pain of what she’s feeling written all over her face. The life she had imagined has been ripped away from her, and the man she married and thought she loved ultimately rejected her. And Igor, even though he must have been disappointed to realize that she didn’t climb into his lap and have sex with him because she had feelings for him, clearly gets that what she’s going through at that moment matters more. She needs someone to be there for her, to accept her and acknowledge her pain.

So he pulls her into his arms — and kisses the top of her head, just fuck me up why don’t you? — and lets her feel everything she’s been keeping in. She’s just sobbing her heart out in these spasms of despair, and in the emotional gut punch of it all we don’t even notice that he’s close to crying too. As he holds her, his eyes are wet and he keeps blinking, as if to keep his own tears at bay. (I didn’t even realize this was happening until I rewatched the scene to answer this ask; it’s subtle and absolutely phenomenal acting by Yura Borisov.)

So heartbreaking. So good. I hope the Oscar voters are taking notes.

#anora #anora 2024 #anora mikheeva #igor #mikey madison #yura borisov

111 notes · View notes