thisisyolanda

[thisisyolanda]

Take care of yourself, thin girl.

Love in the Afternoon (1957) dir. Billy Wilder

[thisisyolanda]

“Know that you can start late, look different, be uncertain, and still succeed.”

— Misty Copeland

[thisisyolanda]

[thisisyolanda]

[thisisyolanda]

Dear mind, stop thinking so much. I need sleep.

Unknown (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[thisisyolanda]

[thisisyolanda]

“ENTER THE VOID”

[thisisyolanda]

by C. Ginger

[thisisyolanda]

“Always believe in yourself. Do this and no matter where you are, you will have nothing to fear.”

— Hayao Miyazaki

[thisisyolanda]

If you cringe thinking about your past, congrats you’ve improved

[thisisyolanda]

If we had the ability to physically re-visit the happiest moment from our past, it could ruin that memory forever since what made us happy then has likely changed. Best to preserve those memories without wishing to re-live them.

[thisisyolanda]

[thisisyolanda]

[thisisyolanda]

“Sometimes we just have to cut off the dead branches in our life. Sometimes that’s the only way we can keep the tree alive. It’s hard and it hurts, but it’s what’s best.”

— Nicole Williams

[thisisyolanda]

via weheartit

[thisisyolanda]

It’s been almost 13 months in with O. How time have just flew passed us!

And we just found out that we are expecting a mini O.

I don’t know what to think of it at first tbh. As much as I always wanted to conceive a child of my own, it’s really bad timing now. We are living in weird times and at the moment going through a global pandemic and here I am with a bun baking in my oven. As if there isn’t enough problem in our lives and in the world! And with my medical condition, there’s just so more to think about. Arghhhhh why now?

Why is God giving us this to us right now? Is God trying to send us a message? Does he really want me and O to have this baby? #pullshair

I’m like a mixed bag of feelings right now.... happy but I’m also sad and worried. I’m worried that I have to terminate my pregnancy because of the high risk it will have on me and my baby. But at the same time I’m questioning my morales and principles, is this my karma for that mistake I made so many moons ago?

Doesn’t help that I just argued with O on the phone and here I am crying, and feeling sorry for myself and the bun. Arghhhh i need to get a hold of own head, my emotions and I wish the brain fog will just go away so I can think logically. At the same time I wish he was here to hold me together.

I’m afraid. Really afraid, stressed and worried. 🥺

[thisisyolanda]

Why do I always feel that his parents’ are always in the way of things? I know it’s wrong for me to feel this way but he makes me feel like I’m not a priority in his life, his parent’s, his family, and their face value holds a higher place than the relationship we share and it just sickens me to the stomach. Maybe because I always put him first above everything else but yet what he’s giving back to me is not the same equal amount of love. I know I should not be feeling this way but it is what it is. Is this all even worth it? I don’t know.