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[this-is-totally-plural]

is the blog still active?

Hi! Yes it is, though us and Flamesong have been busy (I’ll speak to us being busy, at least)

- Sonny^Sprites

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hey uh, is it possible to remake a headspace? i didnt make mine on purpose it just sorta happened and i only had like 1 alter at the time now i have 5 and idk what to do since my headspace is literally a car :,)

Heya! It’s absolutely possible. People have remade or expanded their headspaces all the time. It does take some practice, focus, and actual mental work, but I’m sure with time you’ll be able to change or alter your headspace.

Here’s a master post made by a tumblr user that is both inclusive to all forms of plurality and could be beneficial to you in your journey: https://www.tumblr.com/sophieinwonderland/680232074264870912/all-the-resources-youll-need-to-build-your-own

Hope this helps!

— Jonah [Sprites ☀️]

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Hey is this blog, like, alive?

It is! We just haven’t gotten any questions in awhile - except for this one. We answer as they come.

- Sprites

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Hi idk if this is active but are you the one that wrote cultiples? If so I really want to tell my story as to what I experienced with draven.

We are not. You're looking for LB Lee, who can be contacted at loonybrain@healthymultiplicity.com. They're not affiliated with this blog in any way.

I don't think they're still looking for stories to include in anything published, but you could still try emailing them just as a way to have your experiences heard. It's been a while since we read the cultiples books but I do recall some mention that they had stopped writing them for a reason and didn't intend to make a fourth compilation.

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Please don’t use tulpamancy, it’s a closed religious practice /info. The correct term for western ‘tulpamancy’ is ‘thoughtforms’. Still totally valid but we shouldn’t be having ppl co opting terms for closed practices

This is the only ask we will be replying to about this topic. I haven't seen a single reputable source from the actual religion saying it is a closed practice, so we stand by the use of the term.

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reminder that if you’re questioning your gender, “what do I want?” and “what will make me happy?” tend to be much more useful questions than “what am I, really?”

[this-is-totally-plural]

Destroy validity as a concept. You don't need anyone's permission to exist the way you do, and anyone trying to convince you otherwise is either a cop, a bigot, or trying to sell you something.

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Hey so I need help. I've been lying to my therapist about being singlet, and while my plurality isn't what makes me dysfunctional, the realities of it do affect my mental health and treatment (amnesia, amiright?). Do you have any advice on the decision to talk about it, how to tell him, and/or how to uh. talk around it?

Whether you tell him or not depends completely about your personal situation. There are ways to talk around it by just saying you have bad memory/similar things like that. However, that will likely open up a conversation about dissociative disorders later in therapy. If it feels worth it to come out and explain it to him, I believe you should. Depending on what kind of origin you have, you can tell him through terms he may understand (like a clinical DID model) but it's important that you make it clear that no matter your origins, you are here now and that's all that matters. It is also good to clarify that you being a system is not what you are in therapy for. Really make it clear that aspects of your plurality need worked on in therapy, not being a system as a whole. We recently came out to our therapist and those were some things we kept in mind. Go slow and be patient if you do. Singlets oftentimes have a hard time wrapping their brain around these things. - Freeze [Sprites]

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My sibling.

My sibling, I'll just call them Jupiter, Said a few days ago what their alters might be, and that they've been thinking they may be plural for a while. The day after that they were acting differently and said they don't know. The day after that they said acted a bit more different and said they they don't think they're plural anymore.

This seems exactly how my and my alter's struggle was with thinking if we/they/I am plural or not, but I don't know.

To add, Jupiter has been diagnosed has Bipolar, so that might be what the mood and personality shifts are.

Figuring out your identity at any stage can be difficult and confusing. The best advice we can give you is to give them space, give them support, and give them good resources. If they are plural, then great! If they find out they aren't, that's more than fine too! There is no shame in them exploring either way. Here's a good resource about general info, maybe it could help. Ultimately, they are the expert on them, above all else. Just you being there to talk to them is more helpful than you know, I'm sure.

Good luck to them and you.

- Adam P. [Sprite]

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Hey, T here, like promised on the Discord server - gonna ask my stupid questions, yeah? So, I was just wondering, without going too deep into the functions of our own system, we've got a couple fronters who do most day to day business, some "middles" who do a bit of that but stay mostly in the inner world, and some folks who're pretty much hibernating unless a specific thing triggers them to front, right? So how's it like for a big system, like 50+ members? The same? Different? (1/2)

(2/2) Another question that popped up in a conversation is like, is it hard to keep track of everything when there's a lot of people around like that? Like, everyday life, relationships, all sorts of things with continuity in the external world. We're struggling with just a few people, managing life as a large system just seems overwhelming from this perspective. Thanks in advance. ;)

Hello! Thanks for the question. We (Sprites) will be answering this since we are polyfrag and have a large and complex system. It's honestly very similar to what you have described! We have people who enjoy fronting and like doing it often, people who come and go as they please between fronting and being internal, and people are almost ALWAYS internal. There isn't that much difference! For us specifically, we also have people who can get pulled closer to front due to triggers, etc! So not much difference at that front.

It's also not that different and we haven't had much trouble maintaining relationships or everyday lives! People find common things to do together, and we have very wonderful and understanding friends and partners. We are who we are and people who understand how we work will get to know us or they won't, it doesn't bother us! This is just our personal experience ofc, I don't know if this really answered your questions, but I hope this helped!

- Henry [Sprite]

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Let me first say that it is true that people should not attempt to conclusively diagnose their friends with anything. As OP says, educate people, discuss with them, point them toward reliable sources if they suspect there's something there.

However, that being said, this post has some issues that we can't just let go.

1. OP's claim that "you should not know that you are a system"

To be perfectly blunt, that's bullshit. It's an opinion that OP has expressed before, such as near the end of [this post], and yet it is simply untrue. Why?

There is no 'should' with systems. No two plurals are going to function exactly alike, and that's a good thing! Even among specifically DID/OSDD systems, there is incredible variety in practically every aspect, including knowledge of themselves. Many do not even have a well-defined host to ‘defend’ in the first place.

Statements like this promote a dreadfully narrow view of systemhood, and (intentionally or not) gatekeep the plural community. By saying that systems should not know about themselves, OP creates a catch-22 where anyone questioning can be immediately shut down, specifically for thinking they might be plural.

2. The repeated claim that DID/OSDD are always caused by childhood trauma.

Also not true. Correlation does not equal causation. While yes, many disordered systems do have trauma from a young age, it is not a requirement. Literally, according to the DSM-V itself, trauma is not listed as a diagnostic criterion.

The only mention is that ‘and/or’ in part B, which is about the amnesia symptom only. It is independent of part A, which describes the actual plurality.

Now, trauma is mentioned as a possible cause a few pages later, which is likely where this opinion comes from. But still, according to the bible glorified insurance-billing tool itself, it is entirely possible for a system to have the amnesia and distress to count as DID without ever having trauma at all. And likewise, plenty of systems who have had significant childhood trauma nevertheless are nondisordered and do not exhibit DID/OSDD symptoms.

3. Not technically an issue with this post, but another statement that OP repeated without comment or qualification.

[This post], originally from pack-of-rats, is blatantly invalidating and exclusionary to tulpa systems. While that is a separate issue from the question of DID/OSDD and the diagnosis thereof, it certainly erodes my trust in OP as a reliable source. Why should we listen to someone who denies the existence of people we personally know?

.

To conclude, let me just reiterate my main points:

Self-diagnosis is valid and good. Armchair diagnosis of others is sketchy. However, a friend approaching you about an experience that you have which they think they might share, and you saying 'yeah that sounds similar, that might be a thing to look into' is not armchair diagnosis.

Disordered systems are not the only types of plurality, and they do not necessarily come about as a result of childhood trauma. Neither of these points is up for debate, as both are plainly evident from the literal definitions of the disorders. 

I do not intend to attack OP, nor do I want others to. I merely intended to correct a few claims that I saw being passed around. Please don't get your information solely from tumblr, and yes that includes not solely from us either. The most reliable source is talking to a wide variety of systems, and learning via those experiences willingly shared about just how diverse this community is.

-- Quela ∈ Flamesong

Don’t diagnose your friend

I am concerned to see how many people post that they have diagnosed their friends with DID/OSDD so I wanted to warn you and explain few things.

OSDD/DID- this disorder is difficult to detect for many reasons. 

one of these reasons is the defense of the host. You should not know that your are a system. Why? 

OSDD / DID is a disorder that has its roots in childhood trauma. In fact, many people don’t know they’ve had a childhood trauma and shouldn’t know until they’re ready for it. Everyone reacts in their own way and sometimes when people are realizing that their childhood was not as wonderful as they thought, they are going through a breakdown. Some of them want to kill themselves even after long therapy process. 

Don’t forget- DID/OSDD is not only about having alters. First of all, it shows that we experienced something that a child should never experiences.

Don’t diagnose your friends but of course educate them. Tell them about this disorder, tell them symptoms, discuss, explain, but do not diagnose. 

If someone asks for details, because the symptoms seem strangely familiar to him, do not recommend YouTube videos, choose a reliable source of knowledge. I don’t think that everyone has to run to therapy as soon as they discover symptoms, some aren’t ready for it, but instead of watching videos, recommend them to read scientific articles, books.

The beginning is the most important. I encourage you to watch the video only when we get any outline of knowledge. Remember that the internet is a source of both lies and true information. for someone who does not know the subject it is difficult to distinguish one from the other.

We also make mistakes, we do not know everything, so do not take responsibility for the mental state of another person (unless you are a specialist), you do not know how this person will react and what you should do with it. I know you want to help, but sometimes patience and support have to be enough at the moment.

DID/OSDD is not a game for you and your friends. It is a serious disorder. Don’t forget about it. Stay safe. 

- Cornell (primary protector)

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Hi, this is the Not Soulbond anon, thanks for the reply! If soulbond can refer to someone who isn’t exactly part of the system, I would say that fits, though I can’t find any information about soulbond meaning that. Is there anything you could link me to? It’s okay if not, I’m okay keeping us unlabelled as well. Thanks!

Most of our info comes from just talking to older members of the plural community, people who have been around since the early 2000s or so and who have seen the language evolve over that time. For comparison, we first found online plural spaces around 2016: old relative to many systems we know these days, but five years is nothing compared to all of plural recorded history.

I asked around a little and was directed to this ancient site: https://soulbonding.tripod.com/soulbonding_intro.htm https://soulbonding.tripod.com/ouressays_multiple.htm

I don't have an exact year on it, but judging from the About page's mentions of software versions, the hotmail email address, and the fact that DID was a relatively new term (instead of MPD) at the time, I'd date this to around 1998-2000 or so. It's quite old, and some of the authors' definitions and opinions are no longer commonly accepted (e.g. implying fictives aren't a thing in plural systems, only as soulbonds) but still it's nice to have archives like this for what the community used to be like. It's an interesting look back into the history of nondisordered plurals too, which might be useful the next time you run into a pack of rabid syscoursers in the wild.

I hope this helps! Terms are always up to you, we're just here to provide some options.

-- Chryasor ∈ Flamesong

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Hi, I have a question that I’ve asked others (both singlets and plurals) and they’ve come to a consensus, but I wonder if you have any info on this. I am a median, but there is another person from another world that I can speak to who isn’t part of me even though they can enter my headspace but goes off to his own world that I can’t get to as well. They like to join in with my daydreams, but they’re more of an actor than a muse and they are their own person when we’re not acting in the daydream. I can’t find a term that fits what they are (not soulbond, thoughtform, facet, etc. and it doesn’t feel right to call them a delusion.)

Walk-in, maybe? That's the usual term for people who live elsewhere and enter and leave the system / headspace at their own discretion. A system with many of them may call themselves a gateway system, but it's also perfect possible to only have the one visitor.

You may also see the word soulbond used for a similar concept, particularly among older members of the plural community. That word has had a few evolutions in meaning over the years, and one of those definitions is a person who's linked to a system somehow without being strictly part of it. (Go back too far, though, and you might see "soulbond" used where we'd say "fictive" today.)

Alternatively, you don't have to have a special word for them at all! You could simply refer to that person as a systemmate like everyone else in that head. Plenty of systems are mixed types with some median and some more separate members. You might categorize the median group as a subsystem, or you might not, nothing is required.

It's your choice what to call them, if anything at all. These are just some ideas if you want them. I hope you find something to your satisfaction!

-- Asvoria ∈ Flamesong

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Yes to all of this.

Every statement about what’s “really going on” inside your head is unfalsifiable, you can’t prove it but you can’t disprove it either. Therefore the question of “what am I / are we” isn’t helpful, and what you should be asking yourself is:

What way of thinking about my/ourselves is most useful?

If that most useful model happens to be plurality, then great! Call yourselves plural, and nobody else has any right to say otherwise. If the model happens to be a singlet with “imaginary friends” or “muses” or "OCs who write their own stories”, then that’s fine too!

Who gives a shit what’s really going on? No amount of modern science can answer that question, so stop asking it. You’re going to keep existing anyway.

Also, if you later decide a different model of thinking about yourself fits better, there’s no need to call the first one wrong. It’s just something you happened to use for a time and then set aside. You’re allowed to change. Who’s to say differently? It’s in your head!

Ultimately, the point is... don’t worry about it. You exist, whatever you are, and you’re just as deserving of respect no matter what you call yourself. You’re allowed to not know, and you’re allowed to not even want to know.

-- Quela ∈ Flamesong

Committing to the Delusion

So, are endogenic (endogenic, tulpa, soulbond, whatever the fuck non-trauma) systems real? Here's my point of the day on this-

Who gives a shit?

And I don't just mean don't give a shit about Syscourse, I mean don't give a shit if you're fake. Be willing to be a system that embraces the idea of potentially being a delusion entirely made up for whatever reason, and be happy with it!

Why? Well, who the hell are you hurting? Does it take away from your life? No!

And it feels pretty damn real to most of us I'd say, and for those who don't, god, there's probably stuff right under your nose you aren't picking up.

So what if you're really talking to imaginary friends? You probably aren't!

But if you are, and those "imaginary friends" help you live your life, improve your mental health, help you combat abuse, and even help improve your physical health,

Who the fuck cares?

I'd happily support an adult with imaginary friends. So should you! Hell, maybe that's a system that likes being imaginary friends instead of system members!

We actually have a choice on if we out ourselves sometimes, you know!

And I'm tired of telling these system members who help and love us- and even the ones who don't- "Oh, maybe you're real, maybe you're not. Maybe I made all of you up."

I want to start telling them, "Hey, even if you're not real, I am committed to and love you."

Makes a damn difference.

P.S. It's all very, very real. Sometimes the best way to combat doubt is to just.. embrace the doubt and not care anyway.

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hello! i have a quick question. is it normal to not remember the headspace at all? im possibly a newly formed system, and whenever im in the headspace and get back out, it feels like it was just a dream and every memory of it is blurry. i remember only a few certain things from it, and it felt like the first time i was formed.

Oh, absolutely. There are many systems who can recall even less than you from their headspaces.

We can't much speak to systems who don't share memory between members, though I would expect such systems to potentially have an easier time of recalling headspace activities than those who do share a lot of memories.

I think of it this way: our shared memory is like an instrument that's used to record experiences into the brain for later recall. If I leave front to go walk around the headspace instead, I can try to take that instrument with me, but what about the person who's in front instead of me? Things happening in the external world are going to take precedence for recording, so it will be the fronter's memories of that time period that get written down instead of mine from the headspace. Everything I do in there still happens, but it's less likely to be recalled after the fact.

Now, if you don't share memories, you might have several copies of that recording instrument so everyone can have their own. Systems who work like that might remember more from headspace, but it comes with a significant tradeoff in not knowing a previous fronter's actions at front.

Overall, I'd say not to worry about it from an "is this normal" perspective, though if you're also asking from a "can we do better" perspective it may be possible to train your brain to accept more inputs and over time, get a somewhat better recall of headspace events. I don't have much in the way of concrete guidelines though besides just to practice, go slow and methodically to try to record something outside and inside at the same time, until you get it.

-- Quela ∈ Flamesong

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Do we know anything about how aphantasia may affect headspace? One of my close friends has aphantasia and is a questioning system. They have had (and continue to occasionally have) what's likely to be phantom sensation. Perhaps that's just how they experience potential headmates/headspace?

Thanks for the question! We don't have aphantasia ourselves, but there absolutely are plural systems out there who do.

In our experience and that of most of the systems we've heard talk about it, headspaces typically are based in visualization, so aphantasia absolutely could interfere with one's ability to either create or interact with one. We describe ours as being like a space we've visualized so many times in the same way that now it's just always there the moment we take our attention away from the outside world.

However, that's by no means universal. There are systems who have a headspace but don't experience any sort of control over it, it's just something that exists independently of any of them. There are systems where the active fronter cannot "see into" the headspace, but other members can tell them a consistent story of what it's like and the things that happen there.

And, of course, there are plenty of systems with no developed headspace at all, and they're just as plural as any other. I understand it may be frustrating to want to build a headspace and not be able to, but know that it doesn't reflect at all on a system's validity or worth.

I'd advise your friend to try to make contact with anyone else who might be in their head. It very well may be that phantom sensations are related, perhaps like a member coconscious or even in cofront. I wish them luck in figuring it all out!

-- Phaedriel ∈ Flamesong

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We no longer have our Original, and haven’t for a good ten years now. We know of a couple other systems like that as well, so that part at least is not even particularly unusual.

Leaving only one person left is a little different and that’s not our experience, we’ve been plural this whole time just with non-Original people, but I see no reason why it couldn’t happen. System members can go dormant if they wish, and that goes for anyone, even someone who was born in the body.

Remember, there’s no real inherent superiority of the Original over anyone else, the brain belongs to all of you, so even in the case of merging as you suggested you can’t expect the Original to remain behind almost unchanged while the other person simply disappears. The resulting integrated person would be equally both: a new person who then experiences two pasts but a singular present.

It sounds like instead of integration, your Original has just left / gone dormant. Maybe they’ll come back at some point, maybe not. All you can really do is continue on as you are now, and be ready to welcome them back if they do decide to reappear.

-- Quela ∈ Flamesong

Is it possible for the original host to disappear from a system, leaving behind an alter as the only one left? I’ve heard about reintegration but I thought it was usually the “original” that would come out of that, and that it was more of a merging than just one alter becoming extremely depressed, pitching a few fits, and vanishing for, so far, a full year and a half with no trace.