thirstywhitedad

[thirstywhitedad]

good evening

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me when i accidentally leave out an m in unrestrained summer fun

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Reddit sucks bc on there you make a comment like this and people downvote it but on here it would have 10 thousand notes

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fuuuuuuck I can't I'm busy. there's pollen tomorrow

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Well that's great honey. I hope God forgives you.

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we won

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im fucking sobbing why did they kill him twice in a row in the community notes

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31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN 1990's edition — (02/31) ↳ Misery (1990)

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this bitch doesn’t understand “no context”

THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN THE WAYSIDE SCHOOL BOOKS WITH NO CONTEXT

The blueprints were sideways, so now the school is 30 stories tall

They forgot to add the 19th floor, where Miss Zarves teaches.

Elevators are installed to deal with the long climb. They are only used once and can never be used again.

A dead rat tries to sneak into class by wearing multiple raincoats

School's closed due to cows

World's number one ice cream lover devastated that she can't taste ice cream named after herself.

The third book is called "Wayside School Gets A Little Stranger". They don't appear until the end.

The author's self insert eats a woman alive. He would then go on to write "Holes" 20 years later.

One of the stories is called "What?". It's written backwards.

There are three Erics. To remember which is which, they each have nicknames that reflect the polar opposite of their actual selves.

A boy and a girl trade names, which inspires the rest of the class to do the same, leading to an incredibly confusing reading experience.

Benjamin Nushmutt accidentally is called a completely different name, and Ben is too shy to correct anyone about it

After long deliberation between all of the classmates, Calvin decides that he wants a tattoo of a potato on his ankle

One character falls into the Wayside equivalent of the backrooms for three chapters

Two students accidentally resurrect their old teacher with potato salad

One student is so unpleasant that the lunch lady finds out a substitute teacher is stealing the children's voices because he says "Have a nice day" in her voice.

One of these is directly referenced in Deltarune

Pickle hypnosis

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me, as i force a dollar bill into the self-checkout machine: thats right…..good boy……vore president washington

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in case you needed to hear it today:

it’s okay to use your turn signal when you’re changing lanes

it’s okay to use your turn signal when you’re taking an exit

it’s okay to use your turn signal when you plan on turning (can even be done sooner than 2 seconds before you’re about to turn)

you have a turn signal. in your vehicle. two of them in fact.

you are so brave and beautiful and smart and can do it. using your turn signal

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why r some american tumblr users like the us education system didnt teach me that i have five toes on each foot so i didn’t learn it until my twenties 😞

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happy 10 year anniversary of doing it to them

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FUCK I need to get a job I’m so tired of being broke