thingsunsaidforselfishreasons

[thingsunsaidforselfishreasons]

A family member posted this today.

Big talk coming from a guy that literally lives with his parents at 48 years old, didn't go to college, doesn't have a uterus, and has his dad cook food every night for him.

[thingsunsaidforselfishreasons]

If you can't handle someone else coming to you during a mental health crisis and having human emotions about feeling emotionally abused by another person to the point of making your own feelings about their mental health crisis known right in the middle of the other person still going through a crisis, maybe don't call yourself an advocate for mental health.

If you're embarrassed because someone had an outburst due to a mental health crisis and you expect them to apologize while they're still going through it then you aren't an advocate for mental health and they absolutely shouldn't go to you when they're in trouble again.

If you expect an apology for them "scaring you" with their mental health crisis while they are still going through it, you are not only adding an additional layer of "I'm a messed up person" to the roster of self hate speech issues going through their brain but you're also dismissing their feelings as being less important than your own.

If you are shifting blame from the person perpetuating a cycle of abuse on the other person by saying "you could have done this differently" or "you should have done this differently" in order to save face with the abuser you are not an advocate for mental health regardless of if that abuser is your friend.

If someone comes to you and says "I'm not okay" and you can't help them feel better because you are completely dismissing their feelings as being "crazy and illogical", then when they come to you to tell you how you dismissing their feelings really hurt them and you do it again by saying you "thought the conversation was over" then you cannot call yourself a mental health advocate.

If you say "this isn't about being right or wrong" and then holding firm in the idea that the other persons feelings are wrong and they should apologize for them then you are not helping them through a mental health crisis.

Saying "hey the person perpetuating your abuse has some abandonment issues and now is gonna be feeling like you hate them" to the person going through a mental health crisis is not showing support for the person going through a mental health crisis after they came to you and confided in you. Its dismissive and uncaring.

If you don't have empathy, just say you don't have empathy.

[thingsunsaidforselfishreasons]

Being sorry for someone elses feelings isn't an apology and you know it. "Sorry you felt that way" is a passive aggressive anti-apology that shows you aren't taking accountability for the part you played in making me feel this way causing me to feel like I'm crazy for even feeling that way in the first place. It's one small way for you to minimize my feelings in order for you to save face for yourself to feel like the bigger person. It lacks sincerity, ownership, and accountability.

I don't want you to be sorry that I have feelings, I want you to be sorry because you really hurt me when you disregarded those feelings when I confided in you.

If you don't have empathy, just say you don't have empathy

[thingsunsaidforselfishreasons]

When a cry for help goes unnoticed, you start to realize the people advocating for mental health don't actually care about mental health. Stop saying you'd "notice the signs" when you didn't even listen to me saying "I'm not fucking okay" and expecting an apology for calling you out on it.