thicc-sonja

[thicc-sonja]

In Defense of Feedism

I was absolutely struck when I read  @fatliberation‘s beautiful, vulnerable post the other day. They always have brilliant ideas and they show unfailing grace and kindness to everyone, despite a ton of rude, ill-informed backlash (I would 100% recommend following them). 

I can’t stop thinking about the reactions to that post and how incredibly strange it is to have to tiptoe around feedism (to use an umbrella term) in a movement that is supposed to be centered around ending the oppression of fat people. 

I can understand why fat people who are not feedists would be weary or even repulsed by this kink. From the outside it may seem degrading and manipulative that the language and insults used against fat people are replicated in the bedroom. It is also harmful to be fetishized when you do not want to be fetishized, both in real life and online. 

But these are the only points I’ve heard against feedism that I consider to be a legitimate argument in the discourse of fat liberation, as these are the only claims against feedism I’ve come across that are not based in fatphobia. If you are in favor of fat liberation, then you must see fatness as morally neutral. Therefore, the choice to gain weight is not inherently “good” or “bad,” it is instead a matter of autonomy– a right that should be granted to everyone, regardless of size. 

The major issue with feedism is the same issue that permeates all kink and, by extension, all sexuality: consent. There are feedists, particularly feeders, who fetishize all fat people, regardless of their wishes; feedists who try to force fat people to participate in kink with or without their knowledge or permission. This is abhorrent behavior; there are no excuses for it. But the problem here is a violation of consent and not the kink itself. The unethical practice of kink does not make the kink unethical. And while feedees are often disregarded in discussions of feedism and fat liberation (which I have already talked about in depth here), there are most assuredly fat feedees, like myself, who are fully consenting to fat fetish play. 

While I can only speak for myself, I know that I am not the only person who developed this kink because of weight-related trauma. When you grow up fat, when you are forced to go to Weight Watchers at seven years old, your brain comes to associate fat as taboo and taboo as sexy–but it goes beyond an attraction to something risky or frowned upon. 

I live my life as a fat woman; I am fat at the doctor’s office and fat in tiny airplane seats and I am especially fat as a feedee. No matter if I’m engaging with my kink or not, I am fat and I don’t get to stop being fat outside of my bedroom. Out of all of the scenarios where I am existing in my fat body, engaging in kink play is the only one where I am experiencing pleasure because of my body, not despite it. It’s arousing to be praised for the thing that once made you hate yourself. It’s arousing to engage with something you fear or that has harmed you in a safe, controlled context where you have all the power to make it stop. 

What anti-feedist fat liberationists need to understand is that feedism is, at its core, a resistance to fatphobia. When you see things that are typically fatphobic in feedist play– terms like “pig,” “cow,” “tubby,” etc. and comments about being “out of shape” or “ruined” by fat– it is not a replication of weight stigma, but a subversion of it. Feedism takes the harmful stereotypes of fatness and robs them of their power by putting them in a new context; a context where fatness is so desirable that feedists want more of it. By using the language and misconceptions of fatness to give and receive pleasure instead of to oppress, feedism not only creates a safe space to heal from fatphobic trauma, but it empowers fatness– it empowers fat people, which is supposed to be the goal of fat liberation.

[thicc-sonja]

So, my Tuesday and Wednesday grazing seems to have truly paid off. In just ~36 hours I ate nearly 14,000 calories (that's enough to feed the average person for 2 weeks!!) and I was rewarded with 4 new pounds of soft, jiggly fat. 🐷💕 I need to eat like this more often!

[thicc-sonja]

[thicc-sonja]

Spooky Cupcakes

[thicc-sonja]

can i still wear this to a party? 🥵

[thicc-sonja]

Guys. Incase you didn’t notice. I’ve gotten SO. FAT. in the past few months.

This is insane and also so hot.. thanks to rigorous feeding and inventive recipes I’ve blown up.

[thicc-sonja]

I was born to be a spoiled overfed princess who’s too far away from the line of succession to matter to politics. They just stick me in a nice house on the coast and marry me off to the son of some courtier who will stuff me full of the most decadent food until my dresses burst and I can barely fit out the door.🩵

[thicc-sonja]

I can’t stop growing . 6’7 540

[thicc-sonja]

[thicc-sonja]

Stuffed belly and fatter face

[thicc-sonja]

i think i love feedism so much because it's just soooo spiteful. there are so many people who are obsessively invested in trying to force me to live a life of misery and self-deprivation, and not only am i not doing that, i am overindulging and growing bigger and taking up space and growing so soft and round as a result. and if that wasn't bad enough, there are lots of people who like that about me, and can't wait for me to eat and grow more. feedism is just so defiantly self-indulgent, i can't imagine living any other kind of life

[thicc-sonja]

I was asked to show my belly sitting down, it definitely takes up a lot of space between my legs!

[thicc-sonja]

Getting Softer

[thicc-sonja]

getting close to 270, feels so good to just let myself go

[thicc-sonja]

It's finally 🕸Spooky Season🕸

[thicc-sonja]

is this enough food?

[thicc-sonja]

Chubby on the Couch