thewizardofsass

[thewizardofsass]

[thewizardofsass]

I have never watched a mr beast video and every time I see his face doing that weird dead smile he does in every thumbnail, it just looks like that one photo of charlie from always sunny to me

[thewizardofsass]

I'm gonna start a new aesthetic, it's called "badpunk". It's an alternate retro sci-fi look except all the technology is terrible and looks bad. Somebody add pictures, I need examples.

[thewizardofsass]

I’m looking at gameplay of the canceled version of Resident Evil 2 that got leaked a few years ago and I forgot that they were going to have product placement with Pepsi

this is really fucking funny to me idk why

[thewizardofsass]

[thewizardofsass]

this puppy currently being fostered by a rescue i follow makes me feel like. like. i don’t know. she’s a bug

[thewizardofsass]

Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club?! Turtle, turtle, turtle!

[thewizardofsass]

how to be okay when I see my deadname

[thewizardofsass]

Good news, everyone! Encountered a kind of library book damage today that I've never seen before!

Someone embroidered a page in a Hardy Boys book.

[thewizardofsass]

Hey do y’all remember when Boeing fucking killed a guy last year. And we all said “huh I guess Boeing fucking killed a guy” and then went on with our lives. And everybody knew that Boeing had fully just fucking executed a guy and nothing came of it. Like there was no police investigation no justice no nothing. Like literally EVERYBODY knew that Boeing had full on murdered a guy to silence him and there wasn’t any consequences for them. Kinda crazy.

[thewizardofsass]

Genuinely in love with the groovy kitty floor…

[thewizardofsass]

The people who told you that watermelons and kuffiyehs and parking signs are antisemitic are now trying to convince you that a Nazi salute is perfectly acceptable.

[thewizardofsass]

whenever people say they can't watch/play/read anything slightly upsetting or scary or challenging because it's... upsetting or scary or challenging all i can think of is this lol

[thewizardofsass]

I DONT WANNA PAY BILLS I WANNA USE MY MONEY FOR FOOD AND LIL GIFTS FOR MYSELF AND MY LOVED ONES

[thewizardofsass]

we usually think of mood as a scale from 1-5, but there's actually a negative scale too, where the frown turns back into a smile, but just a little insane !

[thewizardofsass]

scientists in the 1990s, putting a Get More Purple gene attached to a harmless plant virus into an already purple petunia: please get more purple

the petunia, sensing an apparent honest to god Get More Purple Disease, using the previously undiscovered RNAi antiviral ability to shut down all other purple genes along with it just in case: you put VIRUS in petunia? you infect her with the More Purple?? oh! oh! her children shall bloom white! jail for mother, jail for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!

[thewizardofsass]

You know you've fucked up when you go to a doctor and the thing you have wrong with you has been named after an occupation that isn't a thing anymore. Like imagine a doctor looking at you and going "yeah you've got ox-drawn ploughman's disease. We don't even test for that anymore. Yeah the reason you've never heard of it is because the last known case was in 1927 and happened to some guy who was like 98 years old and didn't believe in modern medicine of the time. What the fuck have you been up to."