thewide-eyedcat

[thewide-eyedcat]

[thewide-eyedcat]

beyoncé │ lemonade

[thewide-eyedcat]

Fitting room chronicles ft. this beautiful H&M dress

[thewide-eyedcat]

What’s Gucci?

So guys, for a long time now, I’ve really been toying with the idea of starting a style blog. But the thing is, I don’t want to be a “blogger”, per se. I want to show what I wear, but, I’m not sure my style is necessarily bringing something new to the table--which I think every fashion blogger’s should, to some degree. 

But the one thing I am sure about is, girrrl, I can readily spot a fast-fashion dupe of anything in Vogue, and it gives me thrill. Shopping is my contact sport. When people ask me to shop for them, it makes me so happy, ‘cause I get the opportunity to translate the trends I see and love in the magazines into real, affordable, everyday lewks.

So today’s post is devoted to this Gucci mule, that every single fashion girl has been loving for a minute. From my faves Lisa Folawiyo of the epoynmous brand, Aimee Song of SongofStyle, to editor and bae Shiona Turini. Whowhatwear.com even devoted an entire blog post to these bad boys. Yes, it’s the dead of winter right now, but think to brighter, warmer spring and summer days ahead, eh?

While they may not immediately scream wearable, imagine pairing them with a pleated midi skirt or dress, or with a tee and boyfriend/cropped jean combo--instant spruce-up to your look. 

So, our friends over at ASOS did us a solid and created a great dupe in a pretty rose gold. While the heel of this one is not as high as the Guccis, I think it nails the overall aesthetic at a fraction of the price. 

Still toying with whether or not the blogging life is for me, but we’ll see. 2016 is my year of audacity, so why not be bold if there’s literally nothing to lose. #YearofYes

T

[thewide-eyedcat]

One thing I’ve learnt from living and observing is that it’s KEY to acknowledge the difference between a good guy and the right guy. He’s a great guy, yes, but he may not be the right one for you. And when it becomes apparent that he isn’t don’t let the fact that he’s good keep you there. The key *insert Khaled voice here* is to let go. There’s a good guy out there who’s the right one.

[thewide-eyedcat]

Everything na double double this new year! Thank you Lord for another one! #BlessUp 🙏🏾

[thewide-eyedcat]

Grateful

Feeling immensely grateful for the year that 2015 was. Eventful to say the least. But I’m here on the 31st, victorious, because God is God. This year taught me so much about myself, about perseverance, and about God’s love. Even when I couldn’t feel the “love” from God himself when the thing I prayed for fervently remained elusive, His love RADIATED through my family and friends who are really angels. Grateful to you Father, for my angels. I pray that you bless and protect them today and always. Grateful to you Father, for bringing me this far, and I look forward to the year 2016 will be. 

#Manymoreblessings #ClosertoyouLord #Dohbunotsingu2015 LOL

Happy New Year Friends!

[thewide-eyedcat]

[thewide-eyedcat]

December 10, 10 Years Later

Time flies by. Whizzes right past you, and next thing you know, you’ve graduated college and are now a real person with a real job paying real bills. It’s important though, in the middle of life, to stop and remember. To remember our friends who live forever in our hearts. 

Chioma N., so beautiful, so kind, so hilarious. I remember you teaching me how to use a shaving stick (lol), and guiding me as I used it, so that I didn’t cut myself. It was you, Chioma C., and I in Hostel 41 and it was never a dull moment with you both. I remember when Faith told us to go under our beds and you shouted “I’m asthmatic”, Chioma C. shouted “I’m allergic”, and the entire hostel burst into laughter. Safe to say the terrazzo didn’t see our stomachs that night.

Stephanie, I vividly remember sitting beside you on the bus to the airport that fateful day. You were so excited, all your hard work had paid off, and you’d come 2nd! You were beaming, telling me how you couldn’t wait to tell your parents about your feat. It’s heartbreaking to know that you weren’t able to do so.

Onyeka, my angel before you became Loyola’s angel. The SS2 on my table, you were so kind to me!! You’d always ask how I was doing, smile, and you’d fill your cup with zobo just so that when that jug emptied before it reached us JS1s, you’d give the entire cup to us. I remember being so happy you’d been made a prefect; I couldn’t think of anyone more deserving.

Today, as we remember you, we pray for the families of those you left behind, angels. We pray for Nigeria. We pray for ourselves, that our memories of you may never let us forget to raise our voices, and to hold ourselves and our leaders accountable for the change we desperately need in our country. Rest in peace, angels.

[thewide-eyedcat]

Molested at 3, 4, raped at 15..and told my parents who did NOTHING.

I just needed to let it out.. Thanks for listening.

I have been sexually abused ALL MY LIFE. My first memory of anything sexual/sex related dates far back to when I was 3. My dad had just built a new house in the compound right next to our old house and we had workers coming in and out all day. Next door was a family house with tenants. I remember this one guy, he was probably in his 30s. He entered the new house and came to find me in my uncompleted bedroom and I don’t know how it happened but all I know is he used me to masturbate himself. I didn’t understand what had happened but I didn’t say anything cos he told me if I did he would beat me. I was 3.

Then, my neighbors husband invited me over to ‘play’ with him. His wife wasn’t home. He made me sit on his lap and rub his dick in my hands. I was 3. Still didn’t understand what was happening. He told me that if I told. He’d beat me. I was 3.

I started primary school in Abuja. Day spring International school. I will never forget that name. I was 4. I have vivid memories of my class teacher making me and other girls, put his penis in our mouth during break. I have VIVID flashbacks of him sitting in the class after class/during break time, zipper open, with his dick lying out, staring at us LITTLE girls like we were responsible for its wellbeing. This teacher molested and molested me COUNTLESS time. I never told. I was still too young to understand the disastrous things that’s were being done to me at such an early age.

We moved away from Nigeria. I was DELIGHTED!! For a 5 year old to be so happy to be away from some place is scary. A kids only problem in life should be being made to go to bed at 7. But me, my own had to be different.

I liked it here, I was getting molested occasionally by my family friends and I now knew what it was cos I was 9+ at the time. I knew what it was but I had become so HIGHLY desensitized. People think that I don’t give a shit but if I let myself give a shit, I will VISIBLY fall apart. Im carrying a load that no one should ever have to bear. It’s been going on for so long that I live my life numb to everyone and everything.

Okay, let’s continue. I started to have boyfriends at this time. I was sexual but never had sex cos although all my life I had been molested and touched, I had actually never had (penetrative) Sex. It was the only thing that hadn’t been done to me. The plan was to “keep” myself.. Or at least what’s left of me for my husband. That was the plan. At this point I had already started battling with depression. I was 13+ & had so many scars no one could see and no one to talk to. My mother used to try and get me to talk but I just couldn’t trust her or anyone. Besides, they were meant to protect me and this whole time I’ve been going through all this shit? I started to rebel. I was so so so angry with the world. Id ace my classes and make people laugh. Then Go into my room and cry myself to sleep. I had no self esteem although it looked like I was the most confident. I hated myself. I hated my life. I battled suicidal thoughts as early as 14. It was getting harder and harder to pretend to be alright.

Then the unthinkable happened. I met a guy through a friend one of those nights I spent in the club cos my thoughts won’t let me go to bed. He seemed nice. He was in his 30s and I was 15. He liked me. We exchanged numbers and that was it. One day, my mum gave me new clothes, and told me to go drop my application at the branch of the school I intended to go to. on my way home I don’t know how or why, he called and said I should come over. I was like, sure! Thinking he was a normal harmless human being. When I think about this it makes me so angry and so sad. I should’ve just gone home. Why didn’t my phone die that day? Why did I have to be out that day? Hmm.. So I went to his house. I didn’t know he was a scammer. His house was huge and he lived alone and seemed to be cooking. He told me to go upstairs to his room and wait for him. Which I did cos it sounded harmless. How naive I was! He came up and I can distinctively remember his breath. It smelled like onion and garlic and till today when I smell that on anyone’s breath I have a crazy anxiety attack. He kissed me. And tried to make out but his breath kept on having me repulsed as hell. He started rummaging me and I was getting worried and told him to chill and stop cos I had to get home seeing that I had to go to church with my mum that evening. When I told him this, he got up, locked the door and stripped me naked. Tore my trousers and top and threatened to put me out of his house naked if I didn’t let him have his way. At his point, my soul had already left my body& I was acting on pure adrenalin and fear. I bolted for the door and tried to unlock it and run but before I could.  He pulled me back, took my phone and smashed it against the wall & brought out a glock, held it to my head and said if I made any sudden moves or shouted he will first call his friends over to join him then kill me. I was 15. & fucking terrified. I began to cry and beg. I told him I was a virgin that he should please let me go. He forced himself on me, pushed me on the bed and with one thrust, pushed himself into my DRY virgin vagina. It hurt so much but I couldn’t scream. I had stopped screaming and shouting and moving and just lay there as he panted, thrust and grunted with a gun to my head. I looked at the ceiling and I cried. the tears just wouldn’t stop flowing. When he was done, he told me if I told anyone he would find me and kill me, then handed me $5 and told me to get a cab home. I walked out of that house. In tears. In ripped clothing and with a broken phone and an empty body. I lost my soul that day. Everything after that has been a blur. My mother took me to the doctor and he confirmed that indeed I was raped. But they pressed no charges.

“What will people say?” “You don’t want to be the girl everyone associates with rape”

My father told me “DID HE RAPE YOU IN THE BUSH?? WHAT WERE YOU LOOKING FOR IN HIS HOUSE? YOU DESERVE IT. ITS YOUR FAULT!!”

Till today, my father and I still have a rocky relationship. I always say I have forgiven him but sometimes I remember what he said to me at my lowest point in life and the hate swells like ijebu gari.

I fell into a deep depression. I tried to take my life on countless occasions. I am still very suicidal but it’s better now cos I am over my head distracted by life to ponder on the things that go on in my head. I have never orgasmd in my life though I have had so much sex. I am desensitized to sex. Sex is not special or sacred to me. My life is fucked. My life,is fucked. So you see, there has never been a time in my life I’ve not been taken advantage of. No one knows all these things I’m telling you except my parents. People see me and automatically assume that my life is perfect. Of course, I am pretty, I stay making people laugh, I am the one people run to when they need a shoulder to cry on. …If only my life were as perfect as it seems. If only I looked like what I’ve been through. If only you knew.

[thewide-eyedcat]

Y'ALL, SHE WENT TF IIIIINNN! I CAN’T!!

[thewide-eyedcat]

“I met this girl named Nicki…”

Behind the scenes at TIDAL X: 1020. Watch “Feeling Myself” Live exclusively on TIDAL. tidal.com/video/51618826

[thewide-eyedcat]

“I’m Still In Love With You” (2004) meets “Hotline Bling” (2015)

[thewide-eyedcat]

[thewide-eyedcat]

[thewide-eyedcat]

If Black women are so angry, where are the Black female mass shooters?

[thewide-eyedcat]

The BGG: Broke Girl’s Guide

Hi friends,

Long time no see, no hear from three of us. Life happened and is happening. I’ve been in and out for years about starting a personal style blog / look for less blog, but I get lazy about these things. Also, I feel like the space for style blogs is quite saturated, and I really do not want to enter a space where I’m not necessarily bringing something new to the table. 

While I’m far from a style blogger/aficionado, I can’t deny that I have a knack for looking expensive for less than $50--for the entire outfit. I live for the thrill of finding an exact dupe of a lust-have for way less, or stalking an item until it’s at a price that I can reconcile with my compte bancaire. RetailMeNot?  Groupon? Unidays? StudentBeans? You name it, I’m probably subscribed to it. That, in addition to every store’s emailing list; you know, so that I am always in the know about sales, promos and discounts. 

So, I’ve decided to play around with this BGG idea, and see where it goes. Hopefully, in this series, I’ll be sharing my tips on how to look like your favorite famous / on-a-higher-budget-than-you people for less, items / outfit combos on my wishlist, and other things I find interesting. And when I mean look for less, I mean really less-- because $50 - $200 a piece is not beans, and that’s what a lot of these look-for-less blogs be showin’ -_-. 

Sound interesting to you? Read on!!

In today’s installment, I present this Self-Portrait dress I’ve been ogling since I saw Aimee Song (of SongofStyle) and Beyonce wearing. 

While this camel beauty retails for a cool $270, and is sold out everywhere, our friends at Missguided have come in clutch with a fine--albeit in a different color--alternative for about less than a quarter of the price. 

Missguided always has some type of promo, so never buy full-price. Currently, everything is 20% off, so the dress would come to about $48, which is just under my threshold for how much I’d buy a dress for ($50).  It also comes in black and grey. Pair with your favorite pair of barely-theres and you’re good to go, good to go!

:)