thewabbitandthewolf

[thewabbitandthewolf]

5/16 u sent me these while we were talking on the phone. i think u recently got home n were jus layin next to dukey

you really let me talk it out today, like full blown yapper style. got stuff out i just couldnt get to or didnt think of the night before. got every last thing off my chest that i could think of. i was just feeling so exhausted from the day before. so drained, physically and emotionally. i woke up when u called me at like 3pm or whatever time that was. u asked me if i died.

just, thank you. i needed today and all the talking we did. im starting to realize the full blown scale of my own problems, how big they really are, how present. i think i know what to do now, where to go. you really help me even when ur not even trying. you make accomplishing hard tasks and decisions easier. before it felt like i was by myself or doing that shit for myself and a whole ass other person but still felt so alone… im not alone anymore. you wont even let me when i try, its crazy when you can hear me hold back. im either way worse at it than i thought i was or you know me that well already.

anyway, when i look at these silly goose pictures my thought’s always, “i could look at that face forever”

[thewabbitandthewolf]

may 9

we got into a fight today bcuz u got insecure abt me falling asleep before u did the night before. we got off the phone at like 930/945p. u thought this meant i was sharing the bed w my ex. its something we hadnt explicitly communicated abt for 3 weeks ish, the marker being the show we played… the day being when ex had promised to split up our living spaces, but jus never got around to it, per usual.

u got pushy, in my summary told me to stand my ground. told me to send a text. which i did, i take all ur advice n move it into action. i think the text + talking to trenton at work prolly actually set things into motion but ex started packing n was packing by the time i got home.

anyway, i was just sad. sleeping all day. asked u for kith at work after we got off the phone n u sent me these photos. i just wanna be seen. i respect u, listen to u, take ur advice do what u say. ive never been in this situation before, i feel like im doing my best but the truth is theres better. yet i still try because i want what i deserve despite not being perfect: happiness.

i was anxious all day u might burst into a fit of anger but it never happened. that made me feel bad, that i expected it. but maybe i have jus been conditioned since thats how the last cpl fights have gone … i just wanted to point out that im proud of us for handling it with much more grace today. you apologized a lot tonight. it takes you a day to reflect sometimes. i dont mind it, i just want to be seen. i see you.

[thewabbitandthewolf]

may 8

two magical sunshine boys ! i wish i could be as cool to participate !!! i think u guys are good at showing each other how to be humans. theres lotsa different ways, yknow.

[thewabbitandthewolf]

may 7

let the records show that i lost our game today…… and we barely started yesterday hahaha

u just… kept talking abt **** stuff 🤤

[thewabbitandthewolf]

may 7 i texted this to u n said its us on our future porch

the way you hold me is like nothing i have ever quite experienced before. i think thats why i held on for so long at the first one when u met me at my work. i fit perfect in ur big strong manly arms.

[thewabbitandthewolf]

april 22 i recorded the video these stills are from

its the day u picked me up from the airport. ur taking me n the doggies to lake tahoe after getting ikes sammiches. we look like a cutie lil family :3

i sent these to u wed night and u posted them thurs may 2. im ngl i love when u show us off n i love to show u off. i hate how instagram makes me feel or influences me in general but now im experiencing a new feeling: celebration.

in this video u can notice u noticing me taking it and u say Hi Kitties and then wrap ur hand around my arm 🥹🥹🥹🥹 it hurts how fucking cute you are and how you show me your love. i crave it. and your touch. youre everything. all ive ever wanted and its finally all mine. i just feel so lucky. love you bunny.

[thewabbitandthewolf]

may 2

the first selfie kissies in a while :3

you have the hotness to feel yourself all the time but i know thats impossible but i hope i can restore it where i can anyway because i love when u feel urself ur hot stuffs ❤️‍🔥

I NEED MORE VITAMIN U

[thewabbitandthewolf]

may 4

doing morning work out good girls with toto 🥹

its even jus yo motherfuggin uhhh jawline in the beginning of the frame that just has me gutted, weak in the knees, d*ck h*rd— i love dat face. i jus wanna smoosh it !!!!!!!!!!!!!

look at how much you include babies that arent your own and have fun with them n show them fun lovin too. sweetness

[thewabbitandthewolf]

today may 5.

THE MERRELLS STAY ON DURING S*X

im so excited abt my hiking boots !!! they feel fuckin great ! now im legit gonna get to race u to the top of the mountain ! goddamn baby am i gonna lose but at least this time i’ll get to try my hardest hahaha

what feels really great abt you/ us is theres no judgment. the lil person that exists within ourselves is encouraged to come out instead of being pushed away n hidden. i love thinking of “dumb” memes n photoshoots. theyre memory stamps but also fun ways to be expressive n stay creative n im so eager n excited to get to come up w new ones w u n work on them together :3

the boots are also symbolic. im trying to show you with actions and words how serious i am. my future is with you honey buns <3 and the best part? we can go anywhere n do whatever we want n theres nothing we wont be able to handle or figure out together !!!

[thewabbitandthewolf]

yesterday may 3.

idr who brought it up but we finalized our timeline yest basically. i think it came abt bcuz marsh was talking abt being gone for summer camp n we got stoked we’d get the house to ourselves… you also told marsh ur plans on moving out w me so shit got even realeRRR

we’re in may now and i see you in 2 weeks ! tomorrow i hope to get my june ticket which is the month i really wanna buckle down n tell my loved ones my plans/ im moving. july we should be fr looking at apts/ applying to them. and then hopefully we will have our place come august 1 :3

including yesterday i will have 7 paychecks by aug 1. im hoping to save $100/paycheck so i’ll have $700 for a deposit. thats shooting for a 1bdrm thats ~$1400. thats so doable. ive been seeing so many cute ones n ive been favoriting them on zillow… im so ready. i hate that i have to wait but i need the time to build the money. and it will hit my take my time mark; 6 months. i dont think theres a right or wrong way but it feels like we’re doing everything right.

[thewabbitandthewolf]

today may da fourth be witchya 5/4

i keep getting sidetracked organizing the past— gonna start a new approach which is something ive always tried to practice: documenting the good times as they happen while im still riding their high

we talked on the phone a couple times today. sounds like marshall is getting fired-fired tomorrow. i hate that he has had such an effect on you. thats not to say its your fault. he is in ur constant surroundings so its truly inescapable. but now ur not gonna have to deal w him at work anymore so peace is gonna be witchya n ur gonna be so much more focused n more able to do ur thang… its gonna be really good for u + everyone at the shop really.

i can only begin to imagine the impact… i would be ecstatic getting to go to work n stay for as long as it took jus to be not home n away from my ex. u literally had no escape lol. its not funny but its laughable. im just so stoked for u cuz ur gonna gain a good momentum off this me thinks. it will be less likely you get swayed or succumb to the “fomo”— the drinking the mushrooms the staying up late. tbh when i think abt it idk if i could be 100% sober around the guy all the time either… those things are fine to enjoy sometimes but they were coming on more often n harder n it was impacting us and the beginning of our relationship a lot last month. it feels so good to look at us n everything now w those times overcome n in our past…

im really proud of you and have a lot of confidence in you + in us. it really seems like youre eager to turn your new leaf. things are lining up for you in your world finally and you so deserve it! just keep it up! keep being you, thats all it takes. forgive yourself when you slip and dont forget: the easiest way out is full honesty, always. im here for you thru the thick n the thin. i keep having this thought, maybe thought isnt the right word… maybe realization? i just chant it to myself. i already believe it but saying it, thinking it, seeing the words in my head like subtitles to my thoughts, “theres nothing to be afraid of”. i feel so “i got this” more than i have in a long time. and i think im gaining it from you, its rubbing off on me.

ps. you look so good here ! happy ! sexy lips. and ur hair is cutie !

[thewabbitandthewolf]

april 27. me when we fight. this is especially funny bcuz how bad the quality is.

[thewabbitandthewolf]

march 30. funny night we had fun playing. i think you like to call this “riffing”.

i love the ways you make me laugh. i tell you all the time i love your voice but i love your laugh too. i can see your smile.

im gay for you. im gay for steven.

ps. i dont think anybody has ever used the word swoon at me before. i can only hope you feel that way about me forever.

[thewabbitandthewolf]

march 30. silly fashionista lord farquaad. its cute n special u also cut ur own hair. theres lots of metaphors i could draw that to that cross or carry over into your daily life. you could easily afford to just go get it cut by somebody besides yourself. but why not do it yourself if you like how you do it? its kinda fun kinda daring. what if you mess up? gotta live with the mistake and harness the embarrassment a little bit. not that anybody would actually even notice unless it was pointed out to them. ive mentioned it in passing but i wonder if you’ll let me cut your hair one day. i would let you cut mine.

[thewabbitandthewolf]

march 27. ur at ur dads house getting ur babies back after visiting me in LA. i cant imagine how hard it must have been for you to be without them for any amount of time. i dont take for granted that you were willing to separate from them in order to come see me for a couple days. it meant a lot to me for a multitude of reasons that u came to see me but this one a lot. i think bbg gave u a big scratch on ur leg this day. at least the babies got spoiled ate good n prolly made hella nasty farts.

i love when u call them kitties. duke really acts like a cat a lot of the time, just like his daddy.

[thewabbitandthewolf]

march 31. ily you too 🤟✌️

[thewabbitandthewolf]

its 3:24am and my flight departs this morning around 10am. i cannot sleep, i am way too giddy and excited. i havent felt like this since— i dunno, maybe when i was lil n i still liked xmas. it just feels like the beginning of forever and i wanna tear thru the pages of time. im ready.

i was reading something and it keeps popping up in my mind but it was about relationships and how the ones you really work in and for where you choose love, it was saying that 7 years is the make it or break it mark. i have a very confident feeling that if we stick together and dont clench the bird too tightly we will make it to 7 years in 7 days 7 weeks 7 months a la its gonna feel like nuffin. time is gonna fly n we’re gonna have the best fun weve ever had in this life yet. even if…, ew i hate even typing that. what im saying is i am fully prepared and happy to give you the next 7 years to know for sure forever. 7 years into 7 years into 7 more. and we’ll be old and wrinkly and well loved.

see you soon xo