thevedriveisegambit

[thevedriveisegambit]

best character in goblin emperor 100% beshelar. the maia little birthday boy energy worked on him INSTANTLY and he is incredibly fond of and protective of his teenage boss BUT he is also deeply bound by propriety and probably reads the elvish version of emily post's etiquette every night before bed AND he is in the military so that's two sets of Social Rules right there so he gets very indignant if maia ever behaves even the slightest bit in a friendly manner and when he is stabbed in the line of duty and maia catches him he's exceedingly embarrassed because a) that's his boss b) that's The Emperor c) it doesn't matter that he's seen this man in his pajamas every night for the past several months, you just don't collapse bleeding on your boss the emperor after saving him from an assassination attempt, the impropriety, can you imagine the questions

[thevedriveisegambit]

the whole courier fleet idea from the goblin emperor is simply so good, like YEAH it's a job for people that would have otherwise been prostitutes and instead only SOME of them are prostitutes but ALL of them are sneaky conniving little runners who know everything about everyone and read your mail

[thevedriveisegambit]

we all love Orshan's Corn Maze wdym???

[thevedriveisegambit]

every once in a while I think about how Celehar is basically like a noir detective

[thevedriveisegambit]

Oh for real. Knowing how to Act and Speak Properly is such a defence mechanism. I think also it's a way of trying to maintain a semblance of control and predictability for someone who doesn't have a lot of either-- he doesn't get to pick where he goes, who he works with, what will happen throughout his day. Knowing how people should react or what the proper thing to do in a situation to achieve an outcome or seek a course of action is clearly very important to him. I think it also shows through in his dealings with the map makers.

Being able to be vulnerable/informal/himself with someone is such a guarded indulgence-- I think he very much feels more comfortable with working class people than any aristocrats, I guess conversely because the stakes are also a lot lower if he does the 'wrong' thing as well?

Thara sees himself for all his failings to adhere to what he 'should' be and it's totally outside his mental map of the world that those perceived failures could be legitimate attractive to someone else. Meanwhile others, especially those who aren't so bound by strictures or censure or are a bit more protected against it, see this hypercompetent rugged and compassionate smokeshow right out of a novel or play, who so desperately wants and needs someone to reach out to him and mean it, without fear that he'll get so fundamentally betrayed again...

Finished The Grief of Stones and I love this wet cat of a prelate and this world so much (I also love Maia and TGE and will yell about them all also but right now it's Thara Time)

(there will be spoilers below)

This man has just... the most fixed idea of himself in relation to others and his trauma has closed him off from the world so much!! It's so sad and he's absolutely Convinced that people barely like him most of the time, when we see a lot of people actually respect and admire and care for him quite deeply!

Like Azhanharad he says doesn't like him, but the Subpraeceptor goes out of his way to engage with him and never seems particularly upset about Thara's presence and both cares and knows him well enough to call Anora to come get him while he's traumatised, injured, and vulnerable!

Thara Celehar has three (four if you count Maia) half-goblin men who demonstrably care about him so much between Iäna and Anora and Azhanharad, and it's not just because he's useful to them as a Witness for the Dead.

He clearly craves closeness and wants to be cared for and to care for others, but he holds back through fear of being punished for his sexuality and because of his guilt and grief and having spent so long punishing himself that he forgets that he's allowed to be happy too... Even just Iäna using 'thee' for him shocks him so much, because he doesn't expect anyone aside from maybe Anora to want to be so familiar with him (even despite all the time they spend together and how freely he can go to the opera to see him and the whole bit in his family's eatery and being allowed into Iäna's rooms to see his photographs before they fucking break into a place together!!), but he also just... leans into every moment and scrap of intimacy he can get like a sunflower desperate for light...

[thevedriveisegambit]

i am thinking about him.

[id: three digital pencil sketches of maia drazhar from the goblin emperor. in the first image, maia, a young man with grey skin, dark grey hair, and white robes, is hunched over at a computer, fingers intertwined as he leans on his elbows. he’s grimacing as he looks at a big chunky computer from like the early 2000s. there’s a speech bubble coming out of the computer with an elf in it, eshevis tethimar, with wavy white hair and a coy, catlike grin. he’s saying “hiiii serenity ♡″. the label in the bottom right corner says “Every day Maia gets emails”

[cont: the second image is a shoulders-up drawing of maia again, looking off to the side, mouth slightly open. he looks concerned. the third image is an exaggerated drawing of maia with huge eyes like the autism creature and tears in his eyes]

[thevedriveisegambit]

I like to imagine that after they marry, Csethiro realizes hey I Like this guy and so she starts ribbing him about it because she's an absolute jock. meanwhile, maia who has never been shown kindness is like Oh No What Have I Done, She Hates Me. Csethiro picks up on it immediately, sits him down and apologizes and explains, and then adjusts the level of teasing and tweaks it to be more validating and wholesome. he gets comfortable and starts to tease her back. one day he lands the most savage burn on her and at first it so completely catches her by surprise that he's afraid he went too far, but then she loses all Ladylike Composure, all her years of training go out the window and she guffaws for like five minutes straight. to the point he's actually kind of embarassed about it. years later she never lets him live it down

[thevedriveisegambit]

reblog with your egg thoughts im curiouse ... bc i know eggs are very divisive esp with autistic folks . give me egg propaganda idc i love thoughts

[thevedriveisegambit]

YES!!! Perfection!!

ID: a digital illustration of csethiro ceredin, maia drazhar, and csevet aisava, from the goblin emperor. csethiro and csevet are both pale elves of average build, with white hair pinned up. maia is a taller, thin goblin-elf, with charcoal skin and dark hair piled in elaborate braids. csethiro and csevet are embracing maia from either side. csethiro is resting her head on maia's chest, and csevet is stretching up on tiptoes to rest his chin on maia's shoulder. all three wear peaceful contented smiles. end ID

the imperial throuple

[thevedriveisegambit]

correspondence

[thevedriveisegambit]

Maia

drew this at the end of last year and still like it a lot

[thevedriveisegambit]

"There will be an eclipse of the moon in a fortnight's time, Serenity."

[thevedriveisegambit]

There's something incredibly poignant about the Witness for the Emperor being a witness vel ama. Maia holds all the power, as the emperor, and yet it leaves him voiceless. The emperor is an object, as incapable of speaking for himself as a river or a corpse. The emperor is a symbol, not a person.

[thevedriveisegambit]

I love Thara Celehar so much??? This motherfucker takes on (AND DEFEATS) a creature so powerful and obscure that not only has no one else ever survived it, people think they're myths. AND HE HAS TO AUDACITY TO BE LIKE "I JUST GOT LUCKY" AND NOT THINK IT'S WORTH MENTIONING THAT THAT'S WHY HE LOST HIS POWERS????

HE GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO HELP PEOPLE AND WHEN THEY'RE LIKE "THANK YOU SO MUCH" HE'S JUST LIKE "That's just my job" MOTHERFUCKER NO IT ISN'T!!!!

YOU GAVE A FUNERAL TO SOMEONE BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T AFFORD ONE, PEOPLE COME TO YOU WITH OFF-THE-WALL THEORIES AND YOU'RE LIKE "SURE I'LL LOOK INTO THAT" AND THEN YOU FUCKING CRACK A SERIAL KILLER CASE NO ONE EVEN KNEW EXISTED!!!

AND YOU'RE SURPRISED PEOPLE LIKE YOU??? THIS DUDE CAME SPECIFICALLY TO YOU EVEN WHEN HE KNEW YOU COULDN'T TALK TO HIS WIFE'S BODY BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS YOU DO YOUR DAMNEDEST INVESTIGATING HE WAS LIKE "I THINK IT'S MURDER BUT IF YOU CONCLUDE IT'S NOT I'LL BELIEVE YOU" BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS YOU WON'T STOP UNTIL THE TRUTH COMES OUT

and you have the AUDACITY to say "it's just my job" and act surprised when people like you. motherfucker.

[thevedriveisegambit]

wooing one thee at a time

[thevedriveisegambit]

Just thinking about how Maia and the archprelate would react when they eventually find out about everything Thara's been through in Amalo. Like Maia thought Thara was rejoining the prelacy as a witness bc yay he's found his calling again and it's something he's passionate about and this will be really good for him :) when in reality he's been bullied by the local dach'othala, can barely afford to heat or light his appartment, nearly got killed by a ghoul, was publicly accused of being a fraud so had to spend a night being psychologically tormented by ghosts to clear his name, saw hundreds of people die in an explosion and was forced to witness for them right after they'd died, and defeated an incredibly powerful not-so-mythical creature which resulted in him losing his ability to speak to the dead. Maia thought Thara was finally gonna have a good job that he enjoys but instead the most traumatised man in the world was just subjected to Even More Trauma

[thevedriveisegambit]

one thing about maia's characterization i find really fascinating is how a recurring source of anxiety for him is potentially having to have sex in front of his nohecharei, and more specifically in front of beshelar.

like the first time i read the book all i really clocked was how much of a teenager anxiety that is but after the fourth read it’s so-- it’s so fascinating and so sad because it’s not about sex at all it’s just that sex is where all of his complexes collide. maia is deeply embarrassed by his ignorance, he is incredibly ashamed of his appearance, and he feels suffocated by and resentful of his loss of privacy. he doesn’t mediate in front of his nohecharei because he worries they will think less of him, and now he is faced with a marriage he did not want to a woman who views their entire relationship as a duty and has to come to terms with the possibility of consummating that marriage in front of people whom he thinks not only do not like him as a person but do not approve of him as an emperor. like. just. holy shit.

maia cannot bear to be judged for his sexuality the same way he cannot bear to be judged for his spirituality. he experiences sexual desire but the act of sex itself is not something that he finds… sexy. he has very little sexual education, and thinks himself ugly and thinks everybody around him also finds him ugly. all that he anticipates from sex is embarrassment and shame and judgment, from his household and also from his partner. it's not about the sex just like it's not about the meditation it's about how every private and intimate thing in his life is now going to be on display to people he does not trust.