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Had a dream that I saw this ad in a paper
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can't believe i just blew fifty bucks in there <- gay deer walking out of a bar
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i still think the funniest way a celebrity has ever been "cancelled" was when we found out DJ Khaled didnt eat pussy
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i would, can, and WILL die for sydnee mcelroy
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from the episode “the one where bob comes out as bi” 
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I just saw a fanfic author on tiktok advertising their fic like booktok does and peace and love but friend. your real life actual face??? associated with your fic???
listen, as far as y'all are concerned, I am a sentient seal with access to a keyboard, and we’re leaving it at that
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ive decided i glow in the dark now
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when i say my gender changes to the tune of the bit i mean a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do and if he can’t then god forbid women do anything
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writer’s block (dry) = no desire to write, no ability to write (bearable)
writer’s block (wet) = HUGE desire to write, no ability to write (very evil)
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growing up by the sea really makes you understand why sailors were Like That back in the day. yeah the sea is the love of my life and i'm nothing to her but my heart belongs to her and her alone. she's a cruel, uncaring temptress and she wants to steal me away and eat me alive but to die in her cold, dark abyssal embrace would be such a wonderful way to die.
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one thing about my mutuals is they will be on spectrums. autistic? asexual? aromantic? gender? sexuality? you name it they're on it
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“I want to decompose in a bog” well you clearly don’t know the first thing about bogs. Clout chaser
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Fuego: You look great. Isaac: Thank you. It is a trade secret. Fuego: Oh. Okay. Cool. That's great. (Laughs) And she's not quite making eye contact anymore.
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all food is "guilt free" to me because i love foods and treats and snacks and drinks forever and ever amen
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the english language is truly a wonder
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(me, my parents, my sister, and the baby are sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch)
baby, pointing at the light fixture over the table and signing "on": o.*
my sister: we actually can't turn that light on right now, because the lightbulb inside is burnt out! it needs a new one.
baby: ighbu.
sister: yes, lightbulb! granddaddy said after we eat he's going to climb up there on a ladder and change it, and then the light will come on!
baby: gadada! adda, uuu! ighbu o!
sister: exactly!
baby, signing "on" and pointing at the light and then my dad, with increasing urgency: GADADA ADDA UUUU. O.
my sister: we're going to finish eating first though, ok?
baby: nonono. O. gadada adda uuu.
[a split second goes by]
baby, pointing to himself: ba. adda uuu. ighbu.
me: you're going to climb the ladder and change the lightbulb yourself?
baby: dzyeah. *pointing to the buckle where he is buckled into the high chair* ububu.
me: unbuckle you? so you can change the lightbulb?
baby, highly businesslike: dzyeah.
*pronounced like "on" without the n
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