thetaiseytales

[thetaiseytales]

Week 6.0

I've been feeling really deflated this past month... I don't know if it's a mix of illness and stress or if I'm needing a meds review, either way I'm ready to pull myself out of it a prepare for Christmas, which by the way will be upon us very soon!

I can hear all the mums cheering as I type! Yay to overpriced bath bombs named to actually laugh in the parents faces as they fizz away 20 pence worth of bath products to reveal what could be described as cereal box toys. Yay to spending all day cooking! Yay to making sure all gifts are bought because our partners are not to be trusted with such a task! YAY!

Okay I'm still being relatively moody but I promise I really am looking forward to Christmas.

When you grow up out of your teens Christmas really loses its sparkle in many ways, you spend most Christmas days either working or with your head down the toilet! But when you have your own kids and it begins again, the magic, the stories, the excitement! It's all so raw when you have little ones and thank goodness for that!

Thinking about making her little face light up on Christmas day as we all dive into a pile of presents, most for her I will assume already, just gets me so excited! After Taisey's first Christmas and then having to work her second, this year I wanted to make the whole advent something to celebrate! 24 days, 24 activities, 24 guaranteed Mummy/Taisey hours. Here's our options;

1. House Decorating

Time to get the tree up and make our homes look FESTIVE!

2. Leaf Printing

20 minutes rambling for leaves then home to hot chocolate and painting!

3. Christmas Card Making

I thought we could use the printed pictures from the previous day to cut out Christmassy shapes or make snowflakes.

4. Potato Snowman Printing

Simple; black card, 1/2 cut potatoes, white paint, black marker pen for detail and a splodge of orange for the noses! These are great to use as gift tags.

5. Christmas Film

Heating on, curtains shut, fairy lights on and a Christmas film of the families choice! Everyone on the sofa with a decapitated chocolate santa - Merry Christmas! 😂

6. Winter Sensory Bottle

We have a few big greens next to ours so we're really lucky to have some lovely big trees that scatter the grass with leaves and acorns etc...

7. Visit to see a local Santa.

Hopefully there will be a good one in my area as Taisey was terrified last year, we must fight the fear!

8. Christmas-Themed Free Play

I have a few Christmas toys stashed away for this time of year that are great to fill her activity table with.

9. Make Tree Decorations

With either salt dough or card and ribbon!

10. Watch a Pantomime!

I feel like 2 maybe too young but a small local pantomime would maybe be better than a large scale one in the Theatre Royal!

11. Wintery Walk

We have some lovely National Trust sites around Cornwall that are magical on crisp winter days!

12. Attend a Christmas Fête

We have them at my work every year, so we'll definitely be stopping by to donate some pennies and eat some yummy cakes!

13. Christmas Bath Bomb

There is sometimes nothing better than a lovely warm bath on a cold, wet and windy afternoon! Lush do some lovely bath bombs and you can order Christmas-Themed bombs from Amazon! This, teamed with some comfy Christmas PJ's to crawl into afterwards, is bliss!

14. Cinema Trip

Our local Cinema does £1.99 shows for kids at the weekends so we were thinking of taking the plunge and introducing Taisey to the big screen over the Christmas period! It's ideal if you have more than 1 child and can't always afford the £7+ normal ticket price! Merlin Cinemas in Redruth, Penzance and Helston offer the Mini Merlin's deal.

15. PARTY!

It's Taisey's soft play birthday party!

16. Help Those in Need.

My mum and I collect every year to donate to a local refuge close to our hearts. Taisey will be choosing a gift for a girl her age to wrap and pass on!

17. Christmas Story Time

Choose some of your favourite Christmas books to read!

18. Christmas Party!

Local children's Christmas parties usually have Santa's and activities for the kids to enjoy!

19. Make a Winter Collage

Ramble for your leaves and sticks, then make a lovely picture.

20. Christmas Lights

In Cornwall we have lovely towns who really do go all out at Christmas! The kids love it!

21. Christmas Cupcakes!

Either from a packet or from scratch, you can't beat a bit of baking!

22. Cupcake decorating!

23. Treasure Hunt

Christmas themed treasure hunt around the house and garden!

24. Christmas Eve Box.

Opening Christmas Eve boxes in from of the TV with a buffet and a hot chocolate.

I'm quite surprised that I could actually think of 24 activities but I'm pretty happy with that. Whether I actually do all 24 is another thing but let's not dwell... Planning is the key and I enjoy planning so this should be a breeeeeze 😭

Here's to all the mums who are already in the blind panic of Christmas long before the rest of the family have gotten over their summer holiday!

I salute you! And I drink to the rest of us who leave it 'till last minute because life. 😉🍷

[thetaiseytales]

Week 5

21st December 2016

2:00pm

Mum and I collect every year to send presents to mum's and children in need who live in local refuges. I was 40+1 weeks pregnant, very depressed and very very uncomfortable but I'd been looking forward to delivering the gifts so much that I ended up having such a lovely day that day. It was my last day as me, my last day living life as I then knew it...

Although I suffered with crippling prenatal depression, I was so ready (well, materialistically ready) for Taisey. She was called exactly that from about 25 weeks. Her bedroom was set up, wardrobe bursting with clothes that (thankfully) were handed down through the family! Bottles were sterilised, blankets were washed and nappies were filling my house to the brim... But had I packed my hospital bag? Had I f*£k.

Maybe it was the fear of actually giving birth that stopped me from doing it properly. I took my PJ's and clothes, nappies, bottles and milk for Taisey and that was it! I wasn't prepared at all because I wasn't prepared to even enter that hospital to give birth. I hadn't been in hospital since I was born. Never had an operation, never even broken a bone... I was painstakingly scared and it ruined my whole pregnancy, that and the sickness. I threw up all day, every day from about day 21 to the very end and it was hell on earth. I also worked full time which also sucked the life from me but I am thankful because it prepared me for the exhaustion that is parenthood.

Mum dropped me home after visiting the refuge where I met some friends. My partner was having a 'lads night' so we were bound to our true home - the kitchen! I remember my friend Sam saying to me, "wouldn't it be weird if your waters broke right now!" And we laughed because it was such an inconvenient time, house full of people and 4 days before Christmas.

4:25pm

I picked up a brush to sweep the kitchen floor and, 90's babies you will know this, I had a 'That's so Raven' moment.

I felt a pop.

I didn't say anything and walked to the toilet that was thankfully downstairs in our house at the time! I looked down and it was green. I knew what it was straight away. I felt all the colour drain from my face as I walked back into the kitchen. I popped my head around the living room door and said "Babe, don't mean to alarm you but I think my waters have just gone..." I don't think a single person in that house had an ounce of blood in their faces! "And on a Wednesday!" I heard one of Curt's friends say as I was on the phone to the midwife explaining in detail what kind of green 'it' was. Lovely.

Curtis asked me if I was ready and I told him not to panic because we'll be coming back home soon anyway to wait... All I can say is thank God he packed me a bag because what followed was a whirlwind!

Just as we were leaving my friend Amy came through the door. I remember wrapping my arms so tightly around her, she was the only person in the whole house who had been through what I was about to. I genuinely don't think I'd have made it through labour without that hug. She looked me dead in the eyes and said "you got this!" I definitely had something but I don't think it was 'this'...

We got in the car and as soon as we hit Chivvy roundabout I was contacting for 1 minute, 2 minutes apart... I remember my mum trying to stay calm for me but she knew this baby was coming and fast! We walked into the hospital and I was crippled over in pain. I hadn't cried much until that point. It all hit me at once, she was coming. I was about to become a mum... On a Wednesday!

5:00pm

I'm in a lift in the hopsital doubled over in agony, clutching the bar as I hear the ping to tell us we'd arrived at the right floor. They lead me into a ward and examined me as I fidgeted in what I thought was 'pain'... Little did I know this was a mere raindrop in an ocean in comparison to what was coming.

After examination they took me straight up to delivery, this alone made me panic. I was terrified. I had no idea how I was going to deliver this baby. All I knew is that I wanted drugs and I wanted all of them and I wanted them now.

I begged for some pain relief as they told me I was 7cm dilated. A HCA passed me the gas and air which seemed to block out a lot of my labour yet reduce NO PAIN. I felt every single part of my labour from start to finish and I couldn't be more proud of that considering I wanted to feel absolutely nothing and would have loved a c section in the beginning! I know many have pain relief-less births but I, Zoey Tout, actually did something worth while!!! For the first time in my life I achieved something and my god did it hurt!

7:00pm

There are midwives and nurses all over me and this labour is in full swing! They are promising me pain relief as I scream down the ward in agony! No pain relief comes. Not even a shot of pethidine to calm me down... I'll still never know whether this was a good thing or a bad thing but I do regret the gas and air. It's blurred things that didn't need to be blurred and it didn't help with any pain!

8:00pm

I'm 9cm. "Zoey, your baby probably isn't going to cry when she comes out, she may be taken straight away!" I heard someone say... Fine by me at this point as I was so mentally ill I had no attachment to her yet.

I felt this force go through me and I knew I was about to start pushing! "I need to push!" I screamed. "Funny that..." I heard my midwife say... I hated that woman by 8:15. If you ever get to delivering babies and it's starting to irritate you, change profession for goodness sake. Thankfully I had a wonderful student midwife at my side who held my hand and talked me through the whole process.

One thing I remember about birth is that they told me I smashed it but I genuinely put zero thought into the whole thing. My body took over and I had my baby.

It was last push time... Her head was there, 'would you like to touch her head?' I was asked. "Absolutely not thanks." Was my reply, "just get her out of me!" The last thing I wanted to do was to feel, see or even think about what was 'down there'!

8:25pm

Last push was over and my very red and wrinkly little baby was laying on my chest screaming her lungs out. I couldn't believe it. My body started going into shock as I writhed on the bed below our brand new little life. 15 minutes after birth I was in the shower and begging to go home. I didn't want to be there just as much as the midwife clearly didn't want to be part of my labour so get me home!

1:30am

We burst through the door, our little one in tow. The house looked like a bomb had hit it but all I could think about was crawling into bed. Taisey held my finger the whole night that first night and slept straight through, it was bliss and we have always been thankful for her incredible sleeping habits!

I was up at 9am and out the door Christmas shopping the very next day... Crazy, I know 😂

[thetaiseytales]

[thetaiseytales]

Week 4.1

Morning all, I am a very sorry little soul this morning. I've contracted a lovely case of Strep which means, by default, I am useless...

I'm laying in bed knowing there are a million things to do today and it drives me insane but I've learnt to leave some things till last as a parent, it's imperative to get any sort of rest!

I've also recently been introduced to an actual social media goddess... Mrs Hinch. Now, let me first start off by saying the fact that she can clean without rubber gloves on breaks my heart. As a severe Psoriasis sufferer (TMI? Sorry Hun!) I simply cannot touch so much as a sensitive wetwipe without my hand becoming raw. I also would like to point out that Mrs Hinch is childless and therefore if you have children you are not permitted to let her beautiful home put yours to shame.

We have memories in our home. We have fingerprints on the walls and toys by the absolute basket! We don't (EVER) have the option to 'put the cloths to bed' because we're fighting with the twonager over who's going to win tonight's bedtime battle...

You are not failing because your houses aren't spotless and full of IKEA Kallax units. You don't need to be stressing over the state of your house, pay attention to your state of mind. Is being a clean freak the best and most important thing a mum can be? I give up a clinically clean house to be present in my babies life. Being present, being involved, being loving... They're all the best things a mum can be. By all means, let's not live in Beirut now guys, but we could try to remember that mess is temporary, as is time. Moments pass in a blink of an eye and you never get them back again! I've said it before, our kids will not remember how hard we #hinched this summer, but they will remember the times we put our phones and dusters down to focus on them.

Some days I am Mrs Hinch in rubber gloves, Taisey is presentable and the kitchen is sparkling! Other days it's just me and a quick dash around with a packet of wet wipes...

Don't deny it, we all do it 😉

[thetaiseytales]

Week 3.2

Let's talk social media.

I'm relatively new to Instagram as it is today but Facebook was a huge part of my life for so many years. It actually feels so silly even saying it... Facebook was a big part of my life! But it was. I obsessed over it! What it looked like, what I looked like, what other people were saying, doing, not doing, the list goes on! Whatever it was, I was hooked on it. I know now as an adult it's mainly down to sheer insecurity but I can see how dangerous it actually can be to impressionable minds.

The people I follow on Instagram have amazing lives and houses, but I've never really wanted a white-wash and grey Ikea house so it doesn't pain me to see it all over my newsfeed every day. Call me old fashioned but I like wood (and to hide the dust as much as possible until I get to it so white EVERYTHING isn't the answer!) I also know I'm never going to be 8st with a huge arse and pair of 👀 so not really that upset about those girls either, good for them! Although I must say as a quick disclaimer; I'm not saying I'm not jealous, I'm raging inside but too lazy to really bite the bullet and lose the weight sooo....

I feel at 24 I'm quite settled into who I am as a person and confident in me and my craziness but even the thought of getting Facebook back fills me with dread. I will never understand how and why I subjected myself to it for so long! It honestly caused way more trouble than it was ever worth and it made me paranoid! It sounds dramatic but the loss of it was a turning point in my mental health and how I felt about myself and others around me.

Ignorance is bliss, guys! Your lives are perfect even if they aren't always Instagram-worthy 😉

[thetaiseytales]

[thetaiseytales]

[thetaiseytales]

Week 3.1

It's #RUOK day today! A day where we remind everyone to make sure our closest friends and family are okay. It's usually when they're not okay, ruining their life and being very selfish that they deserve this support the most.

It can be hard to dish out the life quotes when you're feeling low yourself. Even as someone who suffers with my mental health, I find it hard to relate to others who do, too. It's something you really have to work on as a person, you have to have empathy for others. We need to be there to pick our nearest and dearest up when they are down so far they can't reach the top to pull themselves back up!

The one thing I ask anyone who has someone close to them who is suffering is to be kind and be patient. Don't give up on them, they could be pushing you to the other side of the world with their head, but their heart needs you to be near.

So don't forget that text, it could save a life.

❤️

[thetaiseytales]

Week 2.3

I will never forget staring down at my innocent little baby as she screamed in agony with horrendous reflux, feeling like I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. How could I raise this tiny human?

The days started rolling into one very quickly after I had Taisey. Christmas and New Year passed and I found the baby hype to be dwindling away day after day. It was dark mornings and darker nights which always felt so fitting, it almost fuelled the worst parts of me. The curtains reminded shut for weeks as I drowned myself in TV series' and obsessed over Facebook. I fed my baby, I burped my baby, I did what I knew I had to do to get through the days which was usually (hopefully) the bare minimum.

One day when Taisey was struggling with reflux and hating every single second of it, I strapped her into her car seat in front of the TV and I walked out of the house. I remember having every intention not to stop to be honest but I ended up standing at the bottom of the garden crying and I remember thinking, I don't want to leave her...

I never understood how and why after going through my whole life knowing I wanted to be a parent, why I couldn't actually be one? I felt completely detached from Taisey for a long time and it was hard. I cared for her because she was mine and I knew I had to but it wasn't until she was three months old that I looked at her for the first time with real love.

Taisey slept through the night from birth. This was something I never expected and something that plagued me for a long time... People used to ask me how I was struggling? Comments would often be made about how lucky I was, and I knew I was but I couldn't feel it at the time. I was so blessed to have an easy birth, I was even more blessed to have a partner that supported me through my prenatal depression but still none of it was good enough. I wasn't good enough.

I was diagnosed with postnatal depression in February 2017 and am still in what I suppose you would call 'recovery' to this day. Regular medication, doctors appointments with tri-monthly medication reviews help tremendously but there are still days where I can see myself standing at the bottom of the garden again feeling completely out of my depth.

If I'm honest, at my worst I wasn't good enough to be a mum but it's knowing that fact that made me a mum in the first place! Feeling for the first time in a long time, knowing full well I had to do better, I needed to get better, for her, for me, for everyone around me!

I say better like it's easily attained, it isn't. It's a procession of gruelling guilt and self healing. Depression is conflicting, you have to really want to get out of it else it will consume you and you find yourself to be happier when you're sad in the end. It's almost a bad habit.

I can hand on my heart say that I love being a mum now but I genuinely believe that's because I know what it's like to physically hate it. I do have days, I still have to walk away sometimes and breathe, we all do. But you learn to be kind to yourself and you learn to take the failures as learning curves rather than craters in your path and you learn that life is not an easy ride for anyone - not even the kids, especially with parents like us 😉

[thetaiseytales]

Week 2.2

The past week has been one where I've really had to learn to forgive myself. It's hard not to blame yourself when your child is testing the boundaries and you feel like you've driven everyone away with your crippling anxiety. I think it's a mum thing, though. We don't actually change when we have children, our lives do and dramatically at that! But our foundations stay put, albeit on the back burner until you have a few too many on a Friday night, but nevertheless you are still there creeping, waiting patiently for a few glasses of wine to pass your lips so you can go full 2007 in a pub full of people.

Or is that just me?

I thought not.

Becoming a mum made me miss things and people I never thought I'd miss. You never really realise until you look upon your life a year later and see how much it's changed that you realise what's gone. Becoming a mum is humbling, it's lonely sometimes, it's also very rewarding but it's also not the whole of you. You are still you before you are Mum. Give yourself time to be you. Answer that text, accept that invite, just get yourself out - even if it makes you uncomfortable, its growth and it's something for YOU.

Our minds are such a powerful and painful tools if you don't take care of them. Just as we exercise to improve our physical health, we have to exercise our minds, too! We need to talk!

Don't be afraid to say 'I feel f*cked up'. Chances are, your closest friends will have noticed already and are there to chuck down a rope to pull you out of your pit!

It's so easy to dig yourself into deep, deep pits without even looking up to see who's there with a hand to help you out! We often take life's bumps as point blank failures when in reality they are learning curves. No one has the perfect children, the perfect friends or a perfect life! No one. Everyone has something they would change if they could and we must remember that. While being an amazing way to keep in touch, social media is also a twisted reality! The grass is not always greener on the other side of the Instagram page.

It's okay to be down, just don't stay down.

💜

[thetaiseytales]

Week 2.1

I do apologise in advance as I am about to say the C-word...

Christmas.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I know it feels like miles away right now but if I tiptoe I can see it in the distance. I've decided to start buying now because I'm sick of the last week dash to get everyone done, it never satisfies my need to make everything beautiful. Socks and Milk Trays don't quite cut it, it must be hand crafted with love (sweat, tears and not a lot of patience,) and beautifully wrapped, obviously.

Also, as a mum to a Christmas baby, I have an outstanding amount of love and sheer understanding for mum's who popped in the run up to the big C. 4 days before Christmas I had Taisey and I am sure I jinxed myself into it! I'd always said what a crap time to be born December is and if I was going to plan it, I'd have a summer baby!!! But no, we had a Winter Solstice Wonder who, despite the bad birthday, I wouldn't change for the world. It's just a mad mad week of presents, parties and family visits. Knowing what to get for someone for the birthday can be hard enough, so to have both so close together is a nightmare! Is it illegal to change your child's birthdate or just frowned upon? Asking for a friend obviously.

I don't feel like the house is physically prepared for Christmas. The wrapping paper, the boxes, the new toys, the old toys, the food, the batteries and the bloody toys that are practically welded to their boxes - WHY!? I on the other hand am very ready for all of the above and more! Winter is welcome this year, the scorching summer has been lovely but I am ready for boots, scarfs and gloves now please!

I've just remembered the dinner. Bloody hell the dinner! I've never cooked a Christmas meal before but this year I think I have decided to host. I know. I can literally hear you thinking I'm batshit crazy and I definitely am, but here's the method in my madness...

When you become a mum you suddenly lose the ability to fully enjoy any experience without having to 'faff' (other than drinking wine with friends, which sounds much more modest than it ever ends up). I am a faffer and openly notorious for it! Even before I was a mum, I would ruin my own birthdays because I wasn't satisfied it was fun for everyone attending!

I feel like, if I host, I can just faff the day away until I can bask in the beautiful view of 7pm as it fills the clock face and send my Mini Bronson to bed, albeit with a face covered and a belly full of chocolate but hey - hallelujah! Merry Christmas! Where are the Matchmakers, who's dying on EastEnders tonight? And is anyone eating that gammon because I want it in a sandwich!

[thetaiseytales]

Week 2.0

Monday has reared its ugly head and hit us once again with a bang. I find it most difficult to be optimistic on Mondays, Mondays are for pessimism and coffee. Lots and lots of coffee... I'm sure this week's battles are sure to begin soon.

I try to start most weeks with a mental plan on what the week ahead is going to hold. Sometimes this works - I'm up with the larks at 6am, my house is spotless by 9 and we're out of the house all day being as Montessori as physically possible!

Other times, I just end up with a list of things I was meant to do today thinking, ah well, tomorrow is always a new one. We eat from the snack draw and lunch is whatever Taisey decides to pull from the cupboards. We wear our pijamas all day and obviously not one of us is wearing marching socks as we save them for productive days, you know, just in case we're in an accident.

I like to call this a balanced lifestyle and considering this is all health professionals are banging onto us about at the moment, I think this family have it down to a T!

As I speak Taisey is eating the dogs biscuits... Protein for the day - check! Discipline is the newest battle in this house. Taisey isn't even 2 yet and it's hard to know exactly when to start. The most we get out of her in time out is about a minute but in all fairness to her, she doesn't seem to push it again (until she has too much fun and forgets but still...) It's when I'm out and about and she's decided to go full Charles Bronson in the middle of Asda that I struggle.

The other day we walked into town, I've realised now that she is too young for a minute because the meltdown that occured in Poundstretchers was incredible. I couldn't even talk, I just held her in my arms as she hit out and screamed at me, I felt like the world's worst mum. Within a minute of the mega meltdown a lady walked straight up to us, took Taisey from my arms, asked for her name and calmed her down in a second. I was awestruck. Firstly because a stranger whisked my baby from my arms, secondly because she had the guts to take her on! She asked be if Taisey was my first and assured me it would l get easier and in that moment I couldn't have wished for more.

We all need to be that mum for all other mum's. Be that mum when you see others dying of embarrassment, a smile, a small word of encouragement, even a few words to just say, I've been there and it's okay, go such a long, long way!

Zoey x

[thetaiseytales]

Week 1.2

"The term ‘imposter syndrome’ was originally coined by Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in their landmark 1978 study of 150 highly successful professional women in various fields where despite great achievement, ranking and salary, many women felt like frauds."

I believe this. There is not a single night out, family dinner, or drinks with friends when I haven't looked in the mirror and thought, Zo, you dress like you are desparate to be slim. You look like a wannabe, a use-to-be, you don't look like your friends on Instagram.

My house isn't all from IKEA, it's not a wash of white with hints of lushious greenery and rose gold accessories. It's not spotlessly clean and yes, they are fingerprints on the wall - do you not have children? Well, lucky you and your clean walls.

NEWS FLASH - You aren't your friends. You are you and that's actually okay you know? More than okay! In all honesty, not even your friends look like your friends on Instagram, it's all deception. We all do it, I'm guilty of it and so are you, usually without even noticing.

Instagram vs. Real life.

This is real life. This is me being an imposter and proud of it! We don't always have time to have the perfect house or the perfect hair do's but we do have time to move all the crap to one side of the room and take a stunning photo of the other... That's life. Social media isn't.

I spent a whole year away and if it taught me anything, it's that we actually participate in a lot of 'fake encounters'. I realised I was talking to FB friends more than my own real life friends and never really leaving the house. I was waiting for the ping of recognition to light up my phone screen and make me feel 'better' because someone noticed me, when all that time I just needed to notice myself. I needed to learn and grow as a person without being behind a phone screen constantly.

I still feel like an imposter some days but I'm confident in the knowledge that we all are in a way 😘

Zoey x

[thetaiseytales]

Week 1.1

So yesterday I had three teeth extracted, I made such a fuss they knocked me clean out and it was the best night out I've ever been on - without the hangover. What I've woken to this morning, though, is far far worse than any hangover I have ever encountered, probably more so because Taisey is doing all her best renditions of River Dance and is refusing to wear anything but a t-shirt and nappy. Today as a whole is a battle I choose not to pick.

It's all about battles is parenthood. The battle to wake on time, the battle to actually brush your hair today, the battle to get most of the breakfast you made (whilst running around in your underwear because you can't find your work trousers) into your childs stomach and not the dog, just for once please?

It's when you fall ill and have to Mum yourself that you have such an overwhelming amount of respect for your own mum and their dedication to you. My mum stayed awake all day before a 12 hour night shift to take me to the hospital yesterday and didn't bat an eyelid. Being a parent brings you strength that you've never really experienced before. You feel what your babies feel, regardless of their age, and you automatically put their needs before your own. Most parents never give themselves enough credit for this...

'I feel bad because I work a lot and my child is in nursery...' Hey! You're working hard and providing for your family whilst putting your toddler in a place where they will learn and grow and you'll come home to big hugs and stories about their day!

'I haven't gone back to work yet, I don't feel ready but not working makes me feel guilty..' No. No. No. No. No. NO! You are watching every part of your child's development happen right in front of your eyes! You won't miss first steps or new words and phrases! You can never spend too much time with your kids, just make sure you spend quality time by yourself, too.

Whatever you do, your kids won't remember what job you had when they were 3, they won't care about that new bike in 5 years time and they will definitely get over not having an iPad this Christmas. What they will remember is your time with them, experiences, family time and the love you will have always shown them. So long as you're there and you do your best, they will grow to never ask for more.

That's said, my almost Twonager is now using a Foxes ginger biscuit to draw on the wall...

Shall I pick this battle or is this one for Daddy? 😂

Zoey x

[thetaiseytales]

[thetaiseytales]

Week 1 - Taisey Tales.

It’s been an interesting week to say the least. I always wonder what life would be like if i didn’t suffer from a rather chronic case of Foot-in-mouth disease or if I could socialise without suppressing constant anxiety that either me or my child is going to f*ck this lovely moment up... I did manage to get to the gym, though, and nothing could have made me more proud of myself.

Ah... Low and behold, as I peer over the Mac screen, I can see that the remnants of Taisey’s morning packet of crips has been lovingly scattered all over the table and the brand new carpet - thank god for the dog is all I can say! Please do not be fooled into judging me on the choice of food, she had banana porridge, too, but I genuinely couldn’t be bothered to fight with her over the crisps. If there’s one bit of advice I can give to any exhausted parent, it’s to pick your battles wisely. The washing can wait until they’ve gone to bed, as can the toy mountain they have torn down and scattered all over the house, they can have a freezer meal of chicken nuggets and chips more than once a week and you are more than entitled to put a stair gate on their bedroom door so you can have bath in peace... 

Becoming a parent doesn’t automatically summon you to become your childs’ one and only never-dying slave. You have children to nurture them, to help them learn and grow (and be there to change your nappies when you’re old... oh how roles will change, aye?) they compliment your life, they fit in to your days! Don’t ever lose yourself so much in parenting that you forget to give yourself time be you, too.

It’s a parents prerogative to moan by the way, it’s also imperative as a mother that you feel completely alienated from the world and all your friends at least once every two months. Normally this is a mixture of working too much and playing too little and your child not eating a full meal in three days but a whole pack of digestives has definitely been devoured instead, it’s also never anyones fault, be kind to yourself. Sometimes a busy life can still be a relatively lonely life. You’re allowed to wonder sometimes if you gave birth to Satans’ spawn 2 years ago and you’re allowed to think there’s a big chance he’s been lying dormant in your childs’ mind, waiting patiently for terrible twos to knock on the door with a vengeance...

Because I do.

And it begins... 

Wish me luck,

Zoey x