microdosing on catharsis by watching a fictional character or persona i relate to have an emotional breakdown until my chest starts to ache from the amount i've repressed
i seriously will never understand endos or tulpas. why would you want this. ever. one of my alters hates someone whos supposed to be my best friend. i dont know why. hes been fronting almost all day. i dont know how much of an ass hes been. i hate it -✂️
today my friend asked me out. i said no bc 1. im aro 2. i have a boyfriend. but like. she always says shes a lesbian? and i dont know if it was just a joke or something—i make jokes about liking men mostly, but im bisexual all the same—and im just. trying not to cry? because i just realized that? shes one of the only people i really think acknowledges my gender identity and. god i feel like shit right now. -✂️
actually i seriously cant take it anymore im at my limit. i have to vent on here because i dont wanna do it on main -✂️
One of the heartbreaking things about DID is feeling like you haven’t actually lived a life due to amnesia. I know it’s not necessarily a bad thing and it’s for our protection but having a handful of half-second memories from the beginning to now that are super blurry and practically useless doesn’t feel like having lived. They all feel like stories we’ve been told our entire lives that we don’t actually remember, we just know that they happened. All these snippets are sewn together end to end and there’s no in between, it made time go by way too fast and now I’m 23. I’m going to blink and I’ll be 30. I don’t know, it’s just bothering me more today sorry y’all