thesmallkit

[thesmallkit]

[thesmallkit]

Summertime is coming once again so it's back for these habits to shine over me.

tips for repressing hunger

drink green tea/water whenever you're feeling hungry

make sure your room smells sweet

watch food ASMRs/mukbangs

willy that wonka

sleep

draw

dance

read

remind yourself why you're doing this and how accomplished you'll be once you reach the end result. MIND OVER BODY.

[thesmallkit]

anorexia is such a stupid concept

you don't eat, but at what cost? the cost of not going out, not feeling well, not even knowing who you are anymore. you aren't growing you are destroying. this image that you've made of success is the exact thing that's going to bring you down.

as soon as you get to your goal weight you're going to plummet all over again and be stuck in a loop because you won't know how to maintain it. you binge then punish then binge again for punishing yourself because your body doesn't know when it's next meal is going to be and is trying to get in as many nutrients as possible.

in the end you might look good but you aren't going to feel good. and personally, I've gotten to what I perceived as "perfection" and what once was such a grand dream turned into a total nightmare because I still hated myself. the inspiration you follow will always get thinner and thinner as time goes on because you don't love yourself enough, and doing this isn't going to fix that.

I've been on a long ride with this disordered eating, and as sickening as it might've been, it's helped me realize a lot of things.

I'm going to start getting back into fitness instead of rotting in bed all day because I was happy when I was exercising and eating meals. I saw that my body was getting more lean and thinner but it made me stronger because I wasn't afraid to fuel my fire any longer.

[thesmallkit]

[thesmallkit]

You wanna know what happens when you're starving?

Your hair gets thin and limp. Noticeably. You don’t have enough nutrients to help it stay healthy.

You get so. Fucking. Cold. All the time. People don’t want to touch you, because you’re so cold. You’ll be shivering under a blanket, in a hot tub, by a fire, wherever you are.

You’ve heard that seeing food will be upsetting? You have no idea. Even if it’s nowhere near you, or on a screen, or in the hands of a stranger, you’ll resent it because you want it. Some nights you’ll start crying because you miss it so much.

Everything will become numbers. You aren’t just walking your dog anymore, you’re counting the minutes and calories you’re burning. You aren’t enjoying a warm day, you’re trying to figure out if the higher temperatures are making your heart rate go up so you burn faster.

Your social life will die. You’ll be skittish and avoid people when they have food in case they offer some. You’ll say no to parties and dates and meet-ups because you think there might be food. You’ll grow paranoid, terrified of people finding out. You’ll start to despise people who love you solely because they want to help.

You’ll hurt. That pang in your chest? It’s probably because you’re not eating. Your stomach? Say goodbye to its silence. Your butt? It’ll hurt whenever you sit down. You’ll get headaches, heart pains, even breathing will eventually become exhausting.

And eventually, you’ll die. Maybe you ate more than usual and couldn’t handle the thought of gaining, and exercised so much that your heart overexerted itself. Maybe you actually did gain, and that enough was enough to make you swallow a handful of pills. Maybe your blood pressure lowered to fatal levels, or maybe you passed out and hit your head on a table.

It all ends the same.

Don’t let the “pro ana’s” fool you, this isn’t a glamorous lifestyle. This is a deadly and painful illness.

I feel like a lot of people need to remember that before they skip a their meals.

Don’t do this to yourselves, you gorgeous humans. You deserve to live. You deserve friends. You deserve love.

You deserve to eat.

[thesmallkit]

who the hell is actually having up to 1000 calories.

[thesmallkit]

I've been anorexic pretty much all my life. I didn't know that becoming weak in the knees and passing out in class was abnormal when I was younger though, or that seeing my bones was wrong.

[thesmallkit]

I ate since I didn't have any multivitamins

but now that I do have some I know for a fact that I'll be able to make it through since I haven't been feeling hungry at all these past 2 and a half days

[thesmallkit]

binge movies not food

[thesmallkit]

whenever I get hungry I'll look at myself in the mirror

[thesmallkit]

since I'm craving cereal I've decided to freeze up a bowl of water for myself

life hacks B)

[thesmallkit]

this blog is solely for myself without any interactions

I'm not pro anything and am not trying to manage other people since I can barely even manage myself

[thesmallkit]

GOODNIGHT

I'll be getting high off serotonin now

[thesmallkit]

I love him and only him

[thesmallkit]

whenever someone tells me they like me I get so beyond revolted with them to the point that I'll purposefully upset them so that they'll lose interest. it's not something I'm proud of since sometimes it'll be from people I'd consider friends, it's just that I can't see myself with anyone else but my one and so the fact that they even had the nerve to audaciously THINK of us being together makes me want to grind their bones. if you seriously want to be with me you just need to accept that you're gonna die alone atp cause I'm not even touching you with a 6 ft pole.

[thesmallkit]

I'm really hypocritical

I'll see people be possessive/obsessive/stalkerish and be like get a grip as if I'm not looking at that content and also going "same."

[thesmallkit]

I only got 3 things going on in my mind while running this blog which has got to be a new IQ average for a Tumblr user