theseusdraws
theseusdraws
S.H.I.T.
419 posts
any/all pronouns, 19, and exceedingly Done™️ with 2024
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theseusdraws · 7 days ago
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Tumblr usernames are so funny, "the ghost of jason todd started following you" okay well can he stop
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theseusdraws · 18 days ago
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I know that its fairly common for Jason to have blue eyes that turn green when the pit is active, but I support that Jason's eyes are just bright green now. They don't necessarily glow all the time, but they are notably green.
The first time that Jason takes his helmet off in front of the family after his resurrection Dick won't stop staring at him and Bruce keeps glancing at him when he thinks Jason can't see it.
Jason starts taking off his helmet less because the blatant reminder that he came back different, changed, wrong.
Then Damian shows up and starts talking about how both of them inherited their mother's eyes (he refuses to listen to anyone trying to tell him it doesn't work that way)
Slowly but surely, when Jason takes off his helmet and looks in the mirror, instead of seeing wrongness staring back at him, all he can see is his baby brother's eyes.
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theseusdraws · 18 days ago
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Have you ever looked closely at a car windshield?
The edge of the glass is painted where it is glued to the car but it has these small dots between the clear and painted glass.
These are there for a reason. When the sun hits the glass the painted areas and the clear areas will absorb heat at different rates. This causes the glass to expand and contract differently putting stress on the glass.
These dots help the glass to warm up more evenly over a larger area so the glass does not suffer stress that could cause it to spontaneously explode.
Fun fact: the Tesla cybertruck doesn’t have these.
Yes, the glass will spontaneously crack or explode in the sun.
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theseusdraws · 18 days ago
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Sentient Gotham but the only thing it does is make it rain whenever Jason tries to light up a cigarette
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theseusdraws · 18 days ago
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posting this for no particular reason
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theseusdraws · 30 days ago
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If your apology involves degrading yourself, calling yourself shit or insulting yourself, its not an apology, try again.
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theseusdraws · 30 days ago
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Loving the idea of the batbros being so overly protective of each other especially Tim. specifically when he starts dating and the idea of him having sex or god forbid KISSING someone comes up. (As if he hasn't gone through like half of the young justice team) They are less than okay with it all..
Tim: Bruce I want to invite kon over for dinner is that okay?
Bruce: that's fine but is there any particular reason you're asking me instead of him just showing up like usual?
Tim: be wants a more formal 'meet the parents' dinner.
Bruce: oh? So you're dating?
Tim: ya, for a couple months now.
Bruce: well that's great I'm happy fo-
Jason from across the cave: WHAT?!?!
-----
Later that night at dinner
Jason, and dick staring daggers at kon
Bruce, surprisingly the most calm about all of this: so, how did this relationship come about?
Kon: it kinda just happened I think. We both liked each other for a while
Tim: ya I don't think we realized until the spin the bottle game tho
Dick*MAJOR SPIT TAKE*
Jason: YOU DEFILED MY BROTHER??!?
Kon, sweating, crying, throwing up:
Damian with his phone out: theres kryptonite in the second cabinet Todd!!!
There is now a video circulating of Bruce Wayne's kids attacking Lex Luthor's son and it creates such a huge scandal that in order to calm things down Kon and Tim have to announce their relationship so the public doesn't think these billionaires'families are going to kill each other. They get labeled as the romeo and Juliette of gotham/metropolis
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theseusdraws · 30 days ago
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had contractors come by and forgot i was wearing this shirt
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theseusdraws · 30 days ago
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Jason is just a goofy little guy and I'm tired of people acting like he isn't. He is even goofier once you start dating. Whenever you both have a unserious argument he loves to pull the 'oh so you hate me and you want to break up with me?' card. He loves it when you do it back to him.
After a long patrol, he loves to fall dramatically in your lap and groan, pretending he's dying.
He goes into long-winded rants about whatever books he's reading at the moment. Sometimes he even reads your books out loud, being your audiobook as you do anything you need to around the apartment. If you read smut he'll always make some comment like, 'You're into this shit?" or 'Wow pre-marital hand holding.'
Eternal theatre kid Jason will randomly burst into song and WILL get mad if you don't sing along with him. You both always win at the Wayne family karaoke night. Your top hits are 'A Whole New World' and 'Defying Gravity'.
Whenever you go out, he puts his gun in your purse. He knows it's more convenient to keep it on him but he loves including you in his getting ready process.
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theseusdraws · 30 days ago
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My fucking cat has figured out how to gently dig his claws into my eyelid and pull my eyes open while I'm sleeping. He does this. It does not hurt. He is remarkably precise and gentle. I however am asleep when it happens and do not appreciate being clockwork oranged by a needy clingy goddamn animal who thinks he needs attention.
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theseusdraws · 30 days ago
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Clark’s favourite post-big-mission-destress is using his super hearing to tune in to whatever bullshit Bruce has to deal with on the batplane ride back to Gotham with whatever batkids were on hand during the fight.
Bruce: alright is everybody strapped in-?
Tim: -fucking told you to move up- BRUCE TELL DAMIAN TO SHOVE IT
Jason: oh my god did you see Green Arrow eat shit when that guy shot at him?
Dick: Jason YOU shot him
Bruce: Damian you have to let Tim- Jason that was YOU-?
Jason: hey i TOLD him to move out the way it’s not my fault the bullet ricochetted off a lamppost into his leg-
Bruce: i told you to leave the real bullets at home- TIM STOP HITTING YOUR BROTHER
Duke: WAIT I LEFT MY IPOD BACK AT THE FIGHT
Tim: how am i the one getting in trouble- HES LITERALLY GOT HIS KNIFE OUT
Damian: i told you if you got in my way during the battle you would regret it and WHAT DID YOU DO?!
Stephanie: shut up Damian you were totally about to kick it, Tim saved your ass.
Tim: THANK YOU! AND WHAT DO I GET IN RETURN?
Jason: who the fuck takes an ipod to a fight we literally have bluetooth in the comms
Duke: who the fuck dies to the Joker he’s literally just a guy
Jason: OI-
Stephanie: *cackling*
Bruce: OK- Damian and Tim, opposite sides of the plane! Duke we can’t turn back now, i’ll just have to get you a new ipod-
Dick: BRUUUUUUUUCE JASONS BLEEEEDDDIIINNNNGGG
Jason: shut the fuck up you fucking snitch!
Bruce: WHO’S BLEEDING?!? JASON-
Stephanie: hey Duke can i paint your nails- TIM GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE
Damian: Father, Grayson has passed out
Bruce: WHAT-
Jason: HAH! I WIN THE BET HE FUCKING OWES ME 20 DOLLARS
Tim: what bet?
Jason: we both got stabbed so we didnt tell anyone to see who could stay awake the longest
Bruce: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT-
Duke: do you guys even understand how many songs i had downloaded on that ipod? it was fucking engraved, man
Stephanie: Damian stop moving your fucking hands you’re gonna mess up the nail polish
Damian: I HAD TO ITCH MY NOSE
Jason: does anyone wanna see the video of Green Arrow eating shit or what?
Tim, Damian, Duke, Stephanie: YES
Bruce: WE HAVE TO GET DICK A BLOOD TRANSFUSION-
-back with the Justice League-
Clark: *sitting back with his eyes closed, a serene smile on his face*
Barry, whispering to Ollie: what’s he doing?
Ollie: i think it’s a post-battle meditation thing, calms him down
Barry: man, i should really start getting some healthier habits. i never bother meditating.
Ollie: he truly is an inspiration to all.
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theseusdraws · 30 days ago
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theseusdraws · 30 days ago
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the sillies
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theseusdraws · 30 days ago
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Bruce, walking into the Batcave: Why does it look like a tornado came through here? Jason: You know that trick people play on dogs? That one when you pretend to throw a ball but actually keep it in your hand and watch as the dog chases after nothing? Bruce: Yeah? Jason: Steph did that to Dick.
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theseusdraws · 30 days ago
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theseusdraws · 1 month ago
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theseusdraws · 1 month ago
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Write it shitty, write it scared, write it without a clue but don't you be so spineless and have an AI write fanfic for you.
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