thesecretbean

[thesecretbean]

the first i loves you in one of my Criminal Minds DR(i have many different ones)

Spencer Reid <3

For some background information, my name is Alison, Allie or Alice for short in this dr. She's a member of the BAU, she'd joined about 5 months before Elle left but she had pervious experience working with bau well she was working SNR(search and rescue) and when she was in the Sex crimes unit. This is taking place a bit after S2 EP15, when Spencer was having drug problems (Dilaudid). In this DR my love interest is Spencer Reid so yeah. This one was really difficult to go through in my dr but worth it. And I am writing it as me in my DR and with Spencer.

So I'm writing a sort of detailed version of how this went in my dr it's gonna be written in a fanfiction matter because I'm writing in the situation of my dr

TW! Drugs, slight mentions of overdose and death, alcohol

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It was a sort of cold fall night, everyone was wrapping up their business and finishing case reports. Derek had just finished his and so did Emily. Derek is a bit of a 'player' but is a genuinely sweet guy but him Alison aren't the closest. But with Alison and Emily they were a little bit closer but that's because of some past stuff and alot of Penelope dragging Alison and Emily to girls night outs. But besides that's the point they both walked over to Alison who was still writing another case report, she was taking on extra work after convincing Spencer to the rest of the day off because he seemed off and exhausted after the Tobias Hankle situation a few weeks prior. Which of course was reasonable. Spencer only did it because he really did need the rest for once, Spencer just didn't expect Alison to take the extra work he was planning to do.

"So Allie, me and Morgan were talking about going to get some drinks, you wanna come with us?" Emily asked well leaning over Alison's desk. "Maybe find someone to take you home tonight, blow of some of that steam?" Derek added with a wink. Emily rolled her eyes at Derek. "Ignore him were just gonna have some fun tonight, plus he's buying for us tonight" Emily smiles and motions to Derek.

Alison shook her head. "Not tonight guys...I have to finish this case report then I'm planning to make a quick stop at Spence's place to give him the things he forgot here then I'm gonna go home and water my plants... I'm not really in a drinking mood." She spoke softly as she quickly continued to write different things in the report. For the first time in the conversation she looked up at her coworkers "Or a 'find someone to take me home' mood either" she had mocked Derek's voice with a soft smile. "I do not sound like that" Derek looked offended and Emily just laughed and shook her head. "You guys have fun though" Alison spoke quietly. "Have a good night Allie" Emily said as her and Morgan walked off as Alison just waved.

After about 30 ish minutes hotch walked out of his office about to leave but sighed when seeing Alison still there. He walked over to her with a sort of disappointed look in a sense. Alison didn't even notice she was still writing the report as fast as she physically could. It was already nearing midnight after all.

"Alice, what are you still doing in the office? You never stay late." Hotch spoke sternly. Hotch was genuinely nice and sweet, once you crack the shell he had but he just didn't show his emotions the best but with the job it was understandable.

"hm?.. oh I took some extra reports today- I don't have anything better to do.." she spoke quietly, Hotchs stern gaze always gave her chills.

"your doing the extra work Reid was going to do aren't you?" Hotch asked with a knowing look as Alison sat quietly before sighing and putting her pen down. She nodded quietly.

"is it bad I'm that worried about him? I mean..." She paused "it's hard to explain but hotch for the time I've known him I've learned a lot about him...." she looked up at hotch "He's such a sweet person and after the whole Tobias Hankle kidnapped him he hasn't been the same.... which is understandable I get it I don't but it's hard to explain it's just so off..." she seemed to think for a second. "it's easy to tell he's been hardly sleeping and he doesn't eat much like previously when we'd all go out to dinner like the whole team he'd eat a normal portion now he eats a tiny bit, hes been easily agitated and he just has a look in his eyes.... a type of look I know all to well but I don't want to asume hes..." she lets out a shaky sigh. She hated talking about this. "and he's been acting weird sorta sometimes like he hates Em and I'm trying not to profile they way he's been acting too but I'm worried and-" she rambled slightly. Spencer was one of her closest and best friends. Spencer and Alison hung out a lot, they had a lot of common interests and they understood each other's stupid jokes. But when she rambled she was cut of by hotch speaking.

"it's not bad. It shows you care, even more then you'll probably ever admit to him," he paused slightly making it clear about what he was implying. "But that's Reid were talking about and practically all of us are worried. He works in a team of FBI profiler he knows we're worried. But the best we can do in be there for him and give him time for that when he's ready he'll talk to us and go back to his way of extra work." Hotch spoke calmly. "Now go home and get some rest, you need rest and to not worry as much as you do, reid will be fine." Hotch spoke calmly doing his best to help her from over worrying.

Alison nodded slightly "will do sir. And you should go home too." She spoke quietly as she started gathering her things including the stuff she was going to drop off at Spencers. She wasn't gonna just leave them there.

Alison fixed her hair back and grabbed her things and left the building setting Spencers things in the passenger seat and started her truck and began driving towards the whereabouts of Spencer's apartment. It near'd 1 am by now and it was beginning to rain.

She pulled into the parking lot of the building and got out taking the sweater and books Spencer left at the office with her. She had been to Spencers multiple times and often went with him after they both finished up at the office for movie nights, it was how both of them got close aside from making each other laugh in the office. It was to the point he gave her a key for the purpose of surprising him, bringing him things he may have forgotten or asked for she would use it especially when under the assumption that spencer was sleeping like in this situation.

Alison quietly unlocked the door and enterd and she heard a quiet sigh from the bathroom as she entered. She set the stuff in the kitchen counter before turned towards the cracked bathroom door. She walked over to it figuring she should let him now it was only her there. She knocked slightly on the wall. "Hey Spence, just want to-...." and do slightly to the old building the door opened more, revealing Spencer standing shocked staring back at her. He had a vial of Dilaudid, empty and syringe, still full held up to his arm.

They both just stared at eachother. Spencer was shaking due to shock.

"Oh.....Spence...." Alisons voice more gentle then expected as she stepped forward with a sad look on her face as she reached out to the syringe away from him.

Spencer didn't say anything back he just took a step back.

Alison took a step forward and while Spencer wasn't expecting it she pulled the syringe out of his arm, then began prying it out of Spencer's hand. It seemed like she done this type of thing before. His grip was strong as he asked her repeatedly to not take it away from him, she didn't listen. She got it out of him hands and threw it to the other side of the bathroom. Spencer attempted to go retrieve it only to be pulled back and into a tight hug, stopping him dead in his tracks. Spencer froze.

"Spencer... Please...you don't need it.. it-its a problem that you have to get over and i-i'm not gonna let you hype yourself on drugs.. I refuse to lose you in that sort of way.." Alison's voice was quiet, it was only loud enough for Spencer to hear faintly.

Spencer couldn't help but start to cry. He didn't expect anyone to ever find out let alone try to stop him. He sank down to the ground, Alison slipped down with him. She stayed there, hugging him the whole time but doing her best to make him feel better. "I...I'm sorry..." Were the only words Spencer was able to make out well he was crying.

Alisons response made things feel like a whirlwind.

She spoke softly and slipped her hands up to his face and wiped his tears before cupping his cheeks. "Hey.. don't apologize. It's okay, I'm just glad I was able to get here quick enough to stop you from taking it. Dilaudid can kill you and I...I love you way to much to lose you to drugs of all things Spence." She didn't fully realize she revealed the fact she was in love with him or fully what she said

Spencer stared for a second, leaning into her touch. He was processing her words full before speaking really low and quietly. "You love me?...." Spencer was curious as to whether it was love as in romantic relationship type gor love as in 'your like family too me'

Alison's face heated up, her face was a slight tiny of red her ears were even more red. "I...um..." Her words got stuck in her throat she didn't say anything else, she pulled her hands back and just nodded. She often found it hard to lie to Spencer so she didn't but she didn't give a clear answer.

Nither of them said or did anything the the feelings were obvious on both ends. The night would end with Alison spending the night on Spencers couch, Spencer didn't trust himself to be alone so he also chose to stay out there where he ended up falling asleep in the middle of reading another book. Alison didn't sleep the whole night, instead she read and kept a watch on Spencer. She still worried about him.

Not talking about it left them when an awkward romantic tension between the two of them. JJ was the first to find out about it two days after a case when Alison had first gotten into the office for the rest of the week and she was trying to figure out what was going on between herself and Spencer and JJ was the best person in her opinion to talk to. The second person was Morgan about two weeks later who noticed how close Spencer and Alison had been and how at the current moment on the jet home from a case Alison was reading Spencer's favorite book.

They only talked about it five weeks after Morgan found it. Alison had gone out drinking with Morgan and Prentiss and she was rather honest and cuddly while drunk and she ended up having to call someone to come pick her up since both Morgan and Prentiss went home with other people well drunk then again that tends to be normal. Normally she'd call JJ but this weekend JJ was out of town, so she called Spencer. Who answered quickly. She ended up staying the night at Spencers again and again confessing her love to him, even though Spencer knew she was an honest drunk he did tell her they would talk when she wasn't drunk.

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First time writing down detailed ish things from my DR. If you read all the way here thank you and I'm planning to write some more of the things that's happened and the other dr things.

I'll be writing another of these in a similar way but as a different character In a whole different Dr. I'll probably do Emily, JJ or hotch next but we will see. If you liked this and want to see more stuff like this let me know I reallyyyy love writing!

[thesecretbean]

Uhmmm no comment because I'm currently single

Update: no longer single and both me and my amazing gf said that we would both not survive in that room