therealveracain

[therealveracain]

there goes a great shudder through the muscle, a shimmering of bells through the mist

[therealveracain]

i am that i am, and i am nothing.

[therealveracain]

one; apathy

[therealveracain]

scrolling through tumblr at the family function is like russian roulette. it’s either architecture, poetry, ethel cain, or gay porn. every time i scroll im like… pls don’t be dick don’t be dick don’t be dick.

[therealveracain]

misuse oh posting

[therealveracain]

i was an angel, though plummeting

[therealveracain]

was absolutely not expecting ethel cain to be in school spirits s2, but man that was a fun surprise

[therealveracain]

“My baby won’t last the night

They won’t stop until he’s been nailed and crucified

The ringing of the chapel bell echoes down the hill

He won’t be in pain much longer but I know I will

And I will always love you

But my love has never been enough to save you”

[therealveracain]

i was born to listen to ethel cain with the name vera #ifykyk

[therealveracain]

earnhardt spread because i love that song

[therealveracain]

you won’t lose me to thunder or lightning

[therealveracain]

and for my next trick I will become super hot so I can be myself a little more in public

[therealveracain]

american teenager. @mothercain

[therealveracain]

finished piece! (it’s a little crooked ignore that!)

my two niches colliding

[therealveracain]

little sneak peak of a hannibal piece i’m working on because i’m sad and gay

[therealveracain]

etienne is sooo hauntingly beautiful. it reminds me of a night i spent with my family last winter, driving around an intimate smaller town right outside our already small town. we visited the town’s mall and it was like a time machine back into the ‘80’s. it smelled like an old ac unit and the only remaining sign of life in there was a small pizza joint and a record store. it was almost depressing seeing all of the “closing soon” signs in the windows of the other tiny shops, which were mostly vintage and deadstock stores. my parents contrasting memories about the place added to the effect, it almost seemed like the mall they were talking about was somewhere completely different. i could have spent hours in there, studying the building, and the people in there (although there weren’t many.) it was beautiful, how eerie it was. i caught myself feeling amazed at how much i loved this place, even though there wasn’t much to love. i truly believe i’ve never been connected to a place more then i have to that mall. maybe it’s because i see myself in it, or maybe it’s because of the pure curiosity it spiked in me. maybe it’s because what i saw was towards the end of its run, and there’s something so special and endearing about seeing the very end of something that was once full of life. it was almost like a pillar of death. a reminder of the end and how absolutely nothing lasts forever. or maybe it’s because it was a glimpse into my parents pre-me, how they were once individuals too, who grew up in the same shit town as me and will never let go of it. or maybe what i felt there can’t be described in words. maybe it was a feeling only meant for me to understand, maybe it was exactly what i needed at the time and only for me to understand later, or never. all i know is that building and that day will consume my thoughts forever, it’ll replay in my mind fully right before i die. the closest i’ll ever get to that feeling again is through etienne, so thank you, ethel, thank you.

[therealveracain]

teeth eater