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Instagram: @artwoonz

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2nd Oct.

Today has been a really productive day. I was able to kill two birds with one stone. That stone is me!!

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Idea.

I want to put together some goody bags for the homeless that live, sleep and eat in downtown Houston. I had the pain and pleasure of experiencing what it would be like and it has been the most humbling yet. I am blessed and fortunate enough to have the smallest of luxuries. As simple as brushing my teeth. Lol and I can honestly say I barely do that at times. I’m getting better tho. There is no other greater feeling than having a fresh feeling mouth if anything. Whether its water in a bottle or out of the faucet I have it. That’s anywhere you go. I feel they should have access to clean drinking water and not just in places where they cannot or are not supposed to be after a certain hour. I want to supply them with the basic essentials: water bottles (2) as they can be refilled, toothbrush, toothpaste, 2 small wash cloths, deodorant, tampons/pads for women, hand sanitizer, beanies (cold weather approaching), small umbrella, fleece blanket, chapstick, wet wipes and peppermints. These are just to name a few. I have had to pack for journey’s far and wide and to have these simple things can make a huge difference. To be able to work with what you have is so much greater than trying to work with what you don’t have. Next will be to find a way to get these fast food places and restaurants to donate/give food away instead of throwing them out into the trash and making them dig for it like animals. Why let good food go to waste? 

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It’s Not That Hard

So, I was discussing cleaning styles with someone and they said that they didn’t like putting their hand inside of a cup to clean it. I found that very strange. Considering the fact that that is the main part that needs cleaning. I mean yes the rim too but that varies between some folks. I mean, I’ve lightly rinsed a few before another use , if I only had water in them. To each is own. My sister made a very good point in saying “ Is it a phobia, fear, or what? “ Awesome take on it I might add. I’ve known this person for a quite some time. I know what his preference is. Though denied on some occasions through displays of disgust that I knew was just a front. What I wanna know is... it couldn’t be that much to just swish some hot water around it to loosen up anything that is caked up and then proceed with the regular cleaning. Or OR!! It could be a fear ( a feeling induced by perceived danger or threat that occurs in certain types of organisms, which causes a change in metabolic and organ functions and ultimately a change in behavior, such as fleeing, hiding, or freezing from perceived traumatic events) .. fear of putting your hand inside *sideways glare*. Used in a more sexual reference. Then there’s having a phobia. (a type of anxiety disorder, defined by a persistent and excessive fear of an object or situation. The phobia typically results in a rapid onset of fear and is present for more than six months. Wikipedia)??? 

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My outbursts have been panic attacks that I couldn't explain, because I didn't know

TT

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Time.

It’s never too late to learn. Time is valuable and it isn’t meant to be wasted. It’s to be fulfilled at every second, minute and hour of each day. Wisely. 

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Open Chest.

I lost myself. Partially due to my lack of opening up and speaking what’s on my heart and not just what is on my mind. I have been trying to control every aspect of my life. People , places and things all included. Only ending up losing. Control ,safety, sound judgement, reasoning, logic and sense of self. ME. The most important piece that I should be holding in place. I’ve been breaking my own heart. Shielding it and disregarding what it wanted me to express. Thinking and speaking to quickly on my feet. It didn’t take too much to get them moving but once they got kicked up it was harder to place them down on the ground. Get my bearings. I met the man of my dreams six years ago. I spent what felt like an eternity with this man. Not realizing that it had been only four months. To this day that still baffles me. I lost track of time with him. Moments in time and in love. After the first time we had sex , I danced my way back into my clothes * She Wants To Move *. That’s the song and dance that led me on to a path to becoming his roommate. Can you imagine what it feels like to take a shower every night and air dry? I’m sure a few can. In addition to that you are moisturized and lathered from head to toe, flipped over and the same treatment is administered? It isn’t rushed. It isn’t half done and you can feel the sincerity in each stroke of a set of smooth healing hands. I guess you could say that; that was my introduction into rehabilitation. In the physical. I was addicted. I had a huge wave of what it is to be strung out shortly after we parted. Good things are supposed to last long. Although they don’t. I was crushed beyond belief. I kept the faith that one day I was going to have him again. I sent him a Happy Birthday every year. Let him know he is remembered and often thought about. Writing this is so difficult. I was reunited with him 2016. I had just done 9 months in state prison 3 months prior to being with the true love of my life. I had gone through so many trials, tribulations, and obstacles since we last had contact with one another. I didn’t know what to feel. I had already felt as though everything that I felt when I was with him, had to be a dream and I was just an air head. I didn’t want to open up to him completely because I was too afraid. I had been hurt enough to last me a lifetime at this point and I was broken. I’d learned to zone out mentally in situations that I wasn’t emotionally prepared for while I was away. Mentally as well. My mind could take me to places that no one would dare to dream or share if the opportunity presented itself. So I allowed my techniques to ride my shoulders into the “free world”. I was so wrapped up in having my “man” back and being afraid to love him the way I once did. I searched for him in so many men and I never found that same spark. A true desire. Hearts desire. He gave me butterflies like I was a high school girl @ 24. It made me nervous. I had no idea what to do with myself. 

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kill them with kindness

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Dear Mom,

I know that you’ve been trying to protect me. I’ve been so busy figuring out a way to break free from the imaginary chains that have bound me. I need you to know that you have done your best and that is worth more than anything that you have ever done for me. I invited in the struggles that I have faced , on my own. Nothing that I have done is right. My intentions have always been pure. Serve the bad with good and the good with bad. I called myself “ balancing “ everything out. Receiving negative reactions. Suffering the consequences and feeling as though it was everyone else’s fault but my own. I am so proud of you. Going to school , gaining more insight on the things that transpire in your home life. Not only do you get to give that same love and compassion to the clients that you encounter; it’s the same love that I’ve been running away from. I could be one of them. I could be in the same position they are in. I could have a million and one reasons to give up. I know what it feels like to be misunderstood, mistreated, abused, misused and thrown aside. I take full accountability for it all. I had options and I made choices. May have not been the right ones but they’re the ones that I chose. I chose not to take your advice. I chose not to listen. I chose to be stubborn and bullheaded. I chose to participate in things that I never was to exposed to growing up. I’m still growing. Still learning. The only difference between us is that I’ve been there. Places that I never wish to see again. People included in that too. You’ve read some books , so you could only imagine. Not to say that you haven’t witnessed anything or enough of things that you felt and learned from. Throughout it all I have acquired the skill of being brave. I know what love is. I have had love and been shown love since the days I cannot remember. 

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Triumphal Arch

noun | tri·um·phal arch | trīˈəmfəl ärCH

In Roman architecture, a free standing arch commemorating an important event, such as military victory or the opening of a new road. In Christian architecture, the arch framing the apse at the end of a church nave.

Art History Glossary: A helpful list of art and architecture terms to support curious rookies.

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Only fools insist their idea of God is the true and final form of God. Who is God? A blue man playing a flute? A Palestinian nailed to a cross? Or a goddess of many arms? God is manifest in all things. Seek God where you are.

Reflections, January 5, 2017. (via indisposal)

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Lakshmi, Durga, and Saraswati

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Durga - Hindu goddess of war and victory of good over evil

requested by anon x2

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Witch Tip:

Trees are reservoirs of energy you can tap into and channel for spells, and rituals. Remember to leave a biodegradable offering for the tree after your spellwork.

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You stop attracting certain people when you heal the parts of you that once needed them.

Unknown (via laspartesdesconocidas)

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will you still love me tomorrow

Amy Winehouse