therealmacmcdonald

[therealmacmcdonald]

I want my hair back :(

[therealmacmcdonald]

Philadelphians!!! If you see a headline in the paper that goes something like "Local Mentally Disturbed Man, Claiming to be Named 'Ronald McDonald', Found on all Fours Screaming at Coyote on Market Street" that was NOT me!!!

[therealmacmcdonald]

Yeah that thing burned up when our apartment caught on fire but you looked good in it bro!!!

Took this pic of @dennisreynoldsthegoldengod thoyght I woold sher wiv you alll :)

[therealmacmcdonald]

Palm pals cumshot spotted in the Claire's!!!

Don't ask what I was doing in there it's classified information!!!

[therealmacmcdonald]

I've BEEN saying this but NOBODY listens to me!!!

Anyone else think Cracker Barrel might have something to do with the lack of a cure for AIDS

[therealmacmcdonald]

I wonder what else we could make into hats... like. Tigers.

Heeeyyyyy yooooooo, big plans to day, going 2 da zuoo. ⏰ 2 🌊 sum mekats!!

[therealmacmcdonald]

Fun fact!! They're called soap operas because soap companies used to sponsor radio dramas!! Which is stupid cause those aren't a thing anymore. They should call them like. Mint Mobile operas or something.

[therealmacmcdonald]

Dude we took forever on those fucking hats. Worth it!!!

Heeeyyyyy yooooooo, big plans to day, going 2 da zuoo. ⏰ 2 🌊 sum mekats!!

[therealmacmcdonald]

that was MOSTLY Charlie

Guess what!?! this gal has got a date tonight!!

[therealmacmcdonald]

No, I get it man. You're in the moment and suddenly you're just lobbing a huge ass rock at a train.

HEYY wanna go thro sum roks at trains?

Uh, did I just go buy a slim jim from the wawa??? (yes. Yes I did).

[therealmacmcdonald]

But not too big or we'll get caught!!! ...again

HEYY wanna go thro sum roks at trains?

Uh, did I just go buy a slim jim from the wawa??? (yes. Yes I did).

[therealmacmcdonald]

Frank has rugged masculine energy and a very large penis comparative to his body size. Not that you don't have those!!!

rank your friends from most fuckable to least fuckable (that doesn't mean you actually have to fuck them, it's just a theoretical)

I could come up with some characteristically badass response, but sure, why the hell not!!

1. Dennis, I mean, where do I even start? His body, the way his blue eyes sparkle when the light hits them just right. God, I could just trace the shape of his curls over and over and over again at night until I fall asleep and dream about him holding me... I mean... uh... he's alright i guess!!!!

2. Frank, this might come as a surprise but he does have a magnum dong

3. Charlie, sure if I was drunk and also stoned and got paid. Charlie's a good buddy, just not of the fuck variety.

4. Dee. Let's say being gay became illegal and i had to pick a woman... it would NOT be dee!!!

[therealmacmcdonald]

We're gonna have so much fun dude!!

HEYY wanna go thro sum roks at trains?

Uh, did I just go buy a slim jim from the wawa??? (yes. Yes I did).

[therealmacmcdonald]

I am NO LONGER going to be raw. Continuing my life of cheap thrills and sexual conquests... which will be raw. In a VERY different sense of the word.

[therealmacmcdonald]

rank your friends from most fuckable to least fuckable (that doesn't mean you actually have to fuck them, it's just a theoretical)

I could come up with some characteristically badass response, but sure, why the hell not!!

1. Dennis, I mean, where do I even start? His body, the way his blue eyes sparkle when the light hits them just right. God, I could just trace the shape of his curls over and over and over again at night until I fall asleep and dream about him holding me... I mean... uh... he's alright i guess!!!!

2. Frank, this might come as a surprise but he does have a magnum dong

3. Charlie, sure if I was drunk and also stoned and got paid. Charlie's a good buddy, just not of the fuck variety.

4. Dee. Let's say being gay became illegal and i had to pick a woman... it would NOT be dee!!!

[therealmacmcdonald]

Ooc: wrong account man 😭😭💀

something lgbt going on between you and mac 🤨🏳️‍🌈

I don’t care what lettuce guacamole bacon tomato Mac is, he’s my best friend. The only thing going on is us being the most desirable men in Philly.

[therealmacmcdonald]

If a potential suitor is so invested in small talk, I do NOT want him!!! I'm a big talk person!!!

something lgbt going on between you and mac 🤨🏳️‍🌈

I don’t care what lettuce guacamole bacon tomato Mac is, he’s my best friend. The only thing going on is us being the most desirable men in Philly.