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[therealhistoryoftheunitedstates]

Thirteen in Every Episode      ↳ Once, Upon Time

[therealhistoryoftheunitedstates]

Today we're gonna talk about the American-Swiss War!

Okay, so, like most know this key part of American history revolves around the way that Switzerland, in the 17th century, had began to compete with the American tobacco industry, which was the main source of income for the American people at the time.

In light of what was going on, the Americans reached out to Switzerland leaders, such as Jonas Furrer. Despite the signs of goodwill sent to the northern countries (poptarts, burgers, and twinkies to name a few), the Swiss basically told the American people to screw off. Naturally, Congress declare war on Switzerland, which they returned with a declaration of war of their own.

To make a long story short, Switzerland easily won the war with the modern technology on their side, their arrows and wheels taking out the primitive American sticks and rocks. Despite the loss, however, America still produced some well known Generals, like Robert E. Lee, Winfield Scott, and Al Capone, who later fought in a certain Revolution, but that's a story for another time ;)

[therealhistoryoftheunitedstates]

hey yall, let's talk about belgium. As we all know, world war two started in 1826! However, what most people don't know is belgium's part in it all.

Now, belgium is a VERY small country, with only about a twenty mile radius. It's capital is Chernobyl and its main seaport is Pearl Harbor, with other smaller cities like hiroshima and nagasaki.

When the United States got upset at belgium for stealing the current US Czar's (Abe Lincoln) iconic hat and because Belgium had been experimenting with the atomic bomb, so they began a conspiracy with germany. In exchange for nuking the smaller country, America agreed to give germany the secret of eternal life.

So, as we all know, with one fatal strike to belgium, Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Pearl Harbor, and Chernobyl were nuked and have been inhabitable since then.