theranciddwarf

[theranciddwarf]

the thing about astarion is that i do think that he is COMICALLY his own worst enemy but i also recognize that the reason for that is that he hit a sharp genre shift at 100000 mph. one second you're the hot and kinda tragic but expendable minion of a d&d boss and the next you're the romancable companion in the party. this little man was built to have his lore discovered in a notebook while looting his corpse after you've killed cazador and all the sudden everyone's like hey astarion. do you want to sit by the fire and tell us about yourself :) we all like you and want you happy :) and he's like what the fuuuuck. what the fuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkk????

however i do still find him funny about it, sorry man

[theranciddwarf]

Was thinking about turian casual clothes today. They'd have to have some kind of snap/zip situation for their pants to go around their spurs.

Then I thought about 90's snap tear away pants. Convenient, easy access, practical to fit around their spurs.

[theranciddwarf]

I tell you this made me laugh way harder than it should have...

[theranciddwarf]

? varric we're at the fucking beach

[theranciddwarf]

Congratulations to all AO3 users! Important Milestone reached!

Bookmark database overran!

[theranciddwarf]

[theranciddwarf]

Anti-piracy ad from 2004

[theranciddwarf]

no dragon age romance will ever compare to zevran arainai. he's bisexual. he was raised in a murder assassin torture cult after being raised in a brothel. he has a bunch of tattoos and even knows how to give them. he tries to murder you when you first meet him and then poses sexily afterwards. he says he's skilled at lockpicking and then never manages to pick a single lock in the entire game. he murdered his last lover after falsely believing that she betrayed the crows. he regularly slept with his marks before killing them to give them one last good night alive. when you ask him to have sex with you he says one liners like "arghhh pirate zevran reporting for duty!" he gets upset and broody when he realizes that he's in love with you after you ask him for more in your relationship. he proposes to you with an earring from a dead guy before he even tells you that he loves you. he's the only companion to almost completely stay with you after origins (besides the dlcs and parts of da2, he presumably stays with you the rest of your lives). if you die, he never gets into a relationship or has sex with anyone ever again. he constantly talks about you when he's away from you (da2). he calls the sword of the dead king of ferelden "sexy" and says that he "must have it". he's a devout andrastian. he loves being an assassin and doesn't feel bad about murdering people. you can have a threesome with him and a woman he used to sleep with and helped save from her abusive husband. he's slept with countless people and you're the first person that he's ever actually loved. he spends the rest of his life when he's not with you devoted to terrorizing the organization that abused him as a child (and adult) and killing of its leaders. when you tell him that you love him, he says that "he knows." he's blonde. and he's perfect in every way possible.

[theranciddwarf]

HELP I CAN'T STOP DRAWING HIM (also he should have piercings so im going to keep giving him some)

[theranciddwarf]

tumblr discourse after 13 years on this fucking website

[theranciddwarf]

"READ MY DNI" no. use your block button like an adult. i'm not scrolling through the many-paragraphs-long pinned posts of every blog i reblog something from. if you insist certain types of people aren't welcome in the notes of your posts then it's your responsibility to curate that. or choose a closed social media platform like facebook or instagram. or go and live in a barn away from humanity if you really don't like sharing the world with people who are different from you

[theranciddwarf]

[theranciddwarf]

Characters who were raised by wolves but somehow still learn how to speak and act human despite of having spent the key developing years without human contact are both unrealistic and frankly kind of boring and overdone by now. Imagine a character team where one of them is a (somewhat) realistic raised-by-wildlife grown feral child, and the other one is essentially a glorified handler, who manages all the people-business for both of them.

And the companion is the only other human person that the feral one trusts in any way at all. Better yet, make them clearly be romantically involved with each other. Like

"Wait, she's your wife? ...Uh, with all due respect, but can she like... Can she even consent?" "Look lad. I respect you being worried for her welfare and for being direct about that instead of circlin' around so I'm gonna be straight about it right back at you: She's bigger than me, stronger than me, and frankly, I don't think she spent much time wondering whether I'm consenting."

[theranciddwarf]

Mushrooms are objectively the funniest thing on gods green earth like this one destroys your liver and kidneys and kills you this one makes a fine cooking oil this one introduces you to the machine elves this one grows in your shower and slowly destroys your lungs this one is delicious in a stir fry. Who else has the range

[theranciddwarf]

Live to Serve

[theranciddwarf]

I am forever grateful to an archivist mentor I worked with in grad school for some resume advice she gave me and thought maybe others would also benefit from it.

Keep a Master Resume.

This is not the resume you send out. This is a detailed resume of every job (with dates and location, supervisor and location phone number are a bonus) and as many skills/duties/accomplishments you can possibly think of for each and every one of the jobs and education programs you can think of.

She showed me hers, it was about 25 pages long, and formatted exactly like a regular resume for ease. Every time she would learn a new program/skill, she'd add it. Change in title or duties, add it. Complete something big/special/complicated/new to her/professionally significant, she would add it. This way when she went up for a promotion or raise, she had a detailed record of highlights to pick from to show she deserved it. There was no "when was that? Did I submit that last round of reviews?"

Applying to a new job? Pick and choose items from your Master Resume to plug in to the resume or CV you will be sending based on the job posting. You don't need to rewrite it, just cut and paste relevant details.

[theranciddwarf]

GUYS. DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN WRITE CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE FICS ON AO3