thepretzelle

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Defying gravity lookin like tha delishus villain of my dreams?!

Living.

[thepretzelle]

expansion Shot by @kenn_lichtenwalter (at New York, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqjVZrhvfY_/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Life is too short to spend it stagnating. I only want to be surrounded by people who are focused on doing their cool shi+. I don’t want my energy drained, I want it elevated, and powering something larger than myself. (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cqbp1tuvi2M/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Last year on my birthday, I found out my partner who I’d taken to the ER for a ‘stomachache’ after my birthday dinner had in fact cheated on me and carried 3 untreated STDs. When I returned from the hospital, I was too tired to crawl back into bed and had 3 bullets shot at the car, 2 of which made impact with the windshield and driver’s side (last slide). Since then I’ve been feeling like I’m living on borrowed time, like I’d survived a warning. This year though, things will be different. I’ve spent 25 years trying to figure out what was wrong with me, Why all ‘I love yous’ seemed to end in question marks, Why I was expected to come up with answers while still blinking blood out of my lashes, Who feels like safety used to feel? And where I can escape to next? The aftermath wasn’t easy. I was deleted here 12 times. I dealt poorly with people because I was stuck in my mind and literally paralyzed by sudden noises. I moved across the US on a whim, which went about as well as expected. Though I failed and burned bridges, I don’t want to join the cacophony of voices telling me to quit… To those who didn’t believe in my abilities To those who thought they are above befriending me To those who wrote me off when I wasn’t at my best And to those who said “alright let’s get you an Uber…” once they were done with me, I hope you feel silly very soon, because my purpose will transcend the one you set for me I am creation, I am determination, I am dynamism I keep rising back up, And I never needed you to agree :) The best is yet to come. This is 25 baybeyyy 🎉 Photos by bestie @justeeeeeny (at Portland, Oregon) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqYp7iGP_k8/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[thepretzelle]

Access is a privilege. @hullisbeautiful @anoeses.brand (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqTJLBGpFLM/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Summoning good fortune for my 25th in a few days 🕯 🧿 Blue was fun, but I think it’s time for a change. What color should I do next? (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqRrFOgrXQ4/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[thepretzelle]

Aries Season has been quite heavy so here’s a reminder that tiny creatures like Mr. Man exist Shot by @luciidvizual with @/shawnswallows on tvvitter https://www.instagram.com/p/CqRNO3Iuzwg/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Hey it’s me, your favorite afterthought (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqJTZOTv1Yx/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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My mind holds the key 🔑 With @roniradical shot by @vandyphotography @vandyyoga2 (at New York, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp_OzpTvtTR/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Let me take you on a trip @uyesurana shot by @mossy_deschanel_ (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp6q5YeOm-D/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Something something St. Patrick’s Day something something wear green @edgeobeyond shot by @manleyphotography (at New Jersey) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp35kgzrMqK/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Portals @public.noosance (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp0bF5tyH1D/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Throwback with @jacklynsatin (at Pasadena, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpyLVmOS34K/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Danger is my favorite flavor More to come from @luciidvizual Wearing my new @mariemur (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpvlEjpvUas/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Sorry the contortion store was closed for the weekend Old Hollywood vibes with @theikphoto (at Brooklyn, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/CptCVSlSauw/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Sometimes I write long-winded captions, and sometimes I think we should all have a leisurely read, y’know? Thanks @vandyphotography @vandyyoga2 for entertaining my silly ideas :) (at New York, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpqRCNoPQrw/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Most spaces these days feel staged. There’s pressure to curate every aspect of our lives, even other people. We swallow our quirks and sand down our edges. Sometimes I forget what raw expression used to feel like. I once read that if you were silenced a lot growing up, writing everything down now is healing. Even if you don’t write perfectly or have a fluency to your thoughts, your words are yours to wield, and they don’t have to be digestible or marketable for anyone else. There is power in the little jokes you have with yourself, in wonders you see and don’t capture, those cathartic moments are precious even if no one else gets to see them. Being authentic with yourself and your narrative is daunting when your mind has betrayed your trust in being a safe space. Write it down, edit it or don’t. The story you share with yourself is unequivocally yours. I know there will be a time you can look at yourself and say, “I’m home” Shot by @public.noosance wearing @anoeses.brand (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpnjX9nPo4w/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=