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Random Headcanon: Wonder Woman can break both curses that require the kiss of a princess and curses that require the kiss of a prince; the former because she’s officially a princess of Themyscira, and the latter because, since her civilian alias is Diana Prince, she is, in fact, technically “a Prince”, and curses love puns.

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people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?

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Occasionally as an Australian you'll be talking to someone from overseas, and you'll discover a common phrase you took for granted is, in fact, not universally known outside of our country.

Turns out casually dropping "fuck me dead" into conversation will give unsuspecting Americans an aneurism.

The more you know.

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The Nigerian Job is such a special pilot to me. “THE Parker?” “Is there someone better?” “No, but Parker is insane”. “I don’t even know what it is you do” to “That’s what I do”. The OT3 elevator scene. Eliot helping to haul Hardison out of the warehouse before it explodes. Their mini-con escape from the hospital. “What’s in it for me?” “Payback, and if it goes right, a lot of money” “What’s in it for me?” “A lot of money, and if it goes right, payback” and “I was just gonna send 1000 porno magazines to his office but hell yeah”. The Sophie “this isn’t her stage” reveal. The bait and switch that they meant for Dubenich to know he was being conned. “It’s a walk away job” but none of them do. “So go find some bad guys. Bad guys have money.” It does so much good work to establish what this show and these characters could become without jumping the gun on making them get too close too fast.

Like, the thesis of the episode is Nate’s “You all know what you can do, but I know what you can do together” and it’s such a fantastic way to handle a pilot because it’s all about potential: we understand immediately that these people are already hyper competent, but by the end of the episode we see what they could become together too. It’s about showing you the tentative beginnings of this partnership and all the space it still has to grow.

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this animal

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PACING IS ABOUT LOAD BEARING WALLS.

*staples violently to my own forehead*

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I think we all headcanon Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen going to boarding school together but what if Lex Luthor went there as well…and they were friends. Like bestfriends. The kind of friend you talk to even after you graduate.

The JL undercover at one of lex’s galas to get some info on an evil plan he’s been cooking up:

Clark: can somebody cause a distraction while I go get the files?

Bruce:…..Oliver?

Oliver: no

Bruce: please?

Oliver: *sigh* fine.

Bruce: yes!!

Clark:…what’s happening?

Bruce with Ollie walking up to lex: if it isn’t my favorite ginger!!

Oliver: you can’t say that Bruce. He’s not a ginger anymore, he’s bald.

Lex visibly done with their bs: at least I assume it. What are you whores up to nowadays, adopting 10 kids per week?

Oliver pointing at Bruce: that’s him, not me.

Bruce: at least I don’t make one, on purpose might I add, and then proceed to ignore his existence.

Lex: you got me there Brucie. But I still can’t believe only one of your kids is biologically yours considering how big of a slut you are.

Bruce: it’s not that bad.

Oliver: you literally slept with Superman.

Lex who did not know that:…you slept with Superman…and didn’t invite me!?

Bruce: what

Oliver: what

Clark over comms: what

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immediately showering and furiously washing the blood off my hands after stabbing someone, not because i feel any guilt or remorse for what i did but because i have sensory issues

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I hope every writer who sees this writes LOADS the next few months. Like freetime opens up, no writers block, the ability to focus, etc etc you're able to write loads & make lots of progress <3

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i am afraid of people who reblog things with no tags. not even any identifiers like the show it’s from or anything. just silence. what are you thinking?? hello??

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Very oblivious

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A large part of housecat vocalisation toward humans isn’t goal-directed communication, but rather, affiliative signaling: a simple call-and-response protocol which establishes that the participants are part of the same social unit. Amongst themselves, most housecat affiliative signaling is non-vocal, but humans aren’t really physiologically equipped to respond to such signalling in a feline fashion, and cats, well, they’re adaptable.

Which is to say that when your cat yells, and you yell back, so the cat yells again, and so forth, what you’re really saying to each other is “hiiiiii~”.

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Bruce: We are a Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss family NOT a Manwhore, Mansplain, Manslaughter family