thephilosophah

[thephilosophah]

my official stance is a pregnancy is whatever the pregnant person wants it to be. if it’s a 4 week old clump of cells and they want to call it a baby it’s a baby. if they're 20 weeks and they want to call it a parasite it’s a parasite. if they're 39 weeks and call it a fetus it’s a fetus. “why are you so sad about miscarrying at 6 weeks it was literally just an embryo” because that was their baby. “how can you get an abortion at three months” because that wasn’t a baby. hope that helps.

[thephilosophah]

Fun fact: in the 80′s the Dutch Unemployed Union held ‘fridge raids’ to protest against poverty. 

They’d find out when a politician of big boss who upheld poverty and starvation wages was speaking at some public even, then they’d carefully break into his house with a LOT of people and they would eat EVERY piece of food in his house and leave the empty dished behind without taking anything else. 

[thephilosophah]

imagine being a vampire w a nice dark apartment and a cushy remote job plus a little nighttime doordashing to make ends meet and then your tags expire and u cant go to get them renewed bcs the dmv isn't open after dark rn so u figure you'll wait until winter to get it done but then the apartment complex has ur car towed bcs of the expired tags and u cant go get it bcs the lot isnt open after dark so they keep charging you until u simply cant afford to get it back anyway. so now you cant doordash anymore and on top of that youre having to pay for an uber every time you go out to hunt and it adds up fast and your job isnt really covering it so you look for a second job but they all want you to come interview in person during the daytime. and eventually u miss too many rent payments and late fees and your apartment management evicts you and u cant even show up to court to fight it bcs it is obviously also during the day. and the cops come and open your door and the sunlight streams in and you just burn up to a crisp right before their eyes.

[thephilosophah]

[thephilosophah]

my cat stopping me from petting her

[thephilosophah]

[thephilosophah]

imagine how much more fucked up the history of the world would be if eating someone's brains reliably conferred on you their memory and knowledge

[thephilosophah]

♡♡ you can still reblog and claim your wish even if the poll has expired by the time it reaches your dashboard — there’s no expiration date for the magic ♡♡

[thephilosophah]

Fabio Viale, marble sculpture.

[thephilosophah]

Always curious

[thephilosophah]

😾

[thephilosophah]

"Would you rather use the app? :)" I cannot begin to describe how much I wouldn't

[thephilosophah]

I went to the small pizzeria in a nearby village last month and asked for a calzone, and when she brought it to me the owner had a look on her face I can only describe as bitter.

Naturally my first assumption was that she was judging me for my food order (maybe calzones are too easy compared to other pizzas and she felt under-challenged as a pizza chef?), but then I looked at my calzone and the more I looked at it, the more I felt like it might have been a failed attempt at a cat calzone.

(I didn't ask for a cat calzone, just a calzone.)

If I had immediately identified it as a cat calzone I would have of course said something about it, such as "Aww that's so cute! You made it in the shape of a cat!! Thank you!" — but it was too late. I hesitated too long, and it was just failed enough that I wasn't sure it was meant to be a cat.

I think this poor woman knew her cat calzone was a failure and I wouldn't be able to recognise her effort for what it was, hence the bitterness in her eyes when she brought it to me.

I asked my friend if my pizza looked like a cat to her, and she said "Are you saying this because of the olives? I think they were just placed randomly."

no, I think they were meant to be eyes, and a cat nose. And those are the ears. Wait, I'll turn it in your direction so you can see

Friend: "It's just a pointy calzone... Maybe you should ask the chef if she meant to make it a cat?"

If I tried to make a cat calzone and the recipient of this gift went like 'hey, sorry, is this weird-looking thing meant to be cat?' I would sell my pizza restaurant and drown myself in the river.

After considering this, my friend said we could brainstorm a better phrasing—but then we ended up agreeing that since the chef didn't go 'haha sorry I tried to make a cat and failed!!' when she brought my pizza, the options were a) she didn't try to make a cat; b) she feels humiliated by her failure, and either way it's better to say nothing.

But I felt deeply curious about this unresolved mystery, so this week when I went back to the pizzeria I asked for a calzone again.

The options were now: a) the chef brings me a better, recognisable cat calzone and I immediately remark upon it and she's happy and we erase the failed cat calzone from the historical record and never mention it ever;

or b) the chef brings me a normal calzone, which suggests that the vague cat shape from last time was accidental and just another instance of chronic cat pareidolia.

(I refused to consider option c) The chef brings me another failed, hardly-recognisable cat. She just doesn't seem like the kind of person who would let that happen to her twice.)

Here's the photo of the failed cat calzone from last time, which, according to my friend, just looks like a pointy calzone with randomly-placed olives and not a deliberate attempt to make a cat:

And here's what the chef brought me this time:

THAT'S A CAT.

I knew it!!!!

And it looks so sad!! This cat calzone looks like it will burst into olive oil tears if you once again fail to identify it as the cat that it is

But I didn't; I was so ready this time. I went "A cat!!!!! It's so cute!" and the chef went like yes!!! I tried to make one last time but it looked weird :(

I said I was pretty sure it was a cat last time and apologised for not bringing it up and she said no, it's my responsibility to make it a decent cat. She also said she was glad I'd come back and ordered another calzone because she was really bothered ("vraiment embêtée") by that first failed attempt, and wondering if I'd noticed an attempt was made (and failed)

That's so relatable. It's like when you make a really embarrassing spelling mistake in a text and you're not sure if the other person has seen it and is judging you for it. Should you bring it up? Can it go unnoticed if you don't? It's the cat calzone equivalent of that. I'm so glad we were able to clear the air.

[thephilosophah]

i forgot how fucking weird november is theres no afternoon its just night after 2pm

[thephilosophah]

platonic love means everything to me you have no idea id move mountain ranges. id drain oceans id chew dying stars raw

[thephilosophah]

great pyrenees are so fucking awesome theyre just big. if i didnt think that owning one was a supremely bad idea for me in particular id get one. i just think itd become my boss or something. im too lazy for a working breed truly

[thephilosophah]

*takes up smoking just to have an excuse to go outside and experience fresh air + sunlight during the workday*