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We looked inside some of the posts by theonlywayisinward and here's what we found interesting.
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If we don’t take the time to savor and love what we already have, we will live as if we have nothing.
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01/21/25
I’m looking at my big cozy bed and setting up all my pillows so I can lie down right in the middle and I just think how much I love my life. And then I think of how scared I am to lose it all. I’m scared that at one point I’m going to have to give this up. I’m scared of getting into a relationship and having this become a distant memory. Like, I really don’t look forward to having to live with a man again. I hate sharing. I hate how messy they are. Their stupid little quirks that they think are endearing but really you could choke them. I hate spending my hard earned money splitting bills with a man who does less. And believe me, THEY ALL DO LESS. The more I think about the fact that that’s what my future holds, it makes me want to throw up. Having to come home to someone ready to tell you all about their fucking day, and you just have to sit there and listen and try to give a shit, and having to “compromise”and to “prioritize the relationship” and “be a good girlfriend” “a good wife” a “good girl” or whatever the patriarchy was sold us is wild, like just wild. I don’t know, I really used to not think this way and while I looooove love as much as the next person, I don’t find it all that exciting
I love my empty home. Like, I fucking love everything about it. The cleanliness, the organization, the calm, the candles, everything exactly as I want it. Doing whatever I want when I come home. Peace and quiet. My space. Nobody talking, nobody asking for dinner. Nobody annoying the fuck out of me. I’m obsessed with my life and the vibes in general. Like, I’m literally about to spend almost an entire month in another continent just living it the fuck up. I’ve been spending all my money on my nutrition, clothes, experiences, plane tickets, events. Spoiling myself. I literally spent all summer on people’s yachts, meeting a ton of new friends and just VIIIIIIBING. I literally work my ass off at the gym and eat like a king and just feel and look so good ALL. THE. TIME. I’m in my prime. Like, sometimes I get scared that I enjoy this way too much that I might not really want to get into a relationship again? I might not really want kids? Or to get married? Who in their right mind wants to give up pure bliss. Unless you haven’t really had the chance to experience being on your own and loving the fuck out of it. People go from one person to the next and remain a prisoner to their feelings. As if relationships are everything lmfao. Take it from me, I’ve been offered a relationship twice in the last year and my answer was a no brainer. I mean, sooooo many people literally don’t even know what it’s like to be unattached and just cruising through life. It’s a different ballgame. People keep asking me about a partner and I’m like ?????? Let me live???? If it looks like I don’t give a shit it’s because I don’t???? If it quacks like a duck and looks like a duck it’s probably a fucking duck???? Like I don’t know how to tell people I’m in no rush, so I just tell them I’m not going to have a serious partner for a long time and to check back in a few years. Obviously I know all bets are off if I fall in love… And I almost feel like I’m jinxing myself here but I kind of don’t want to fall in love. I’m really not ready. Yeah it’s beautiful, yeah it’s rainbows and roses. But it literally makes you dumb as shit. It’s like being on drugs. All logic, rationality, common sense, sanity goes out the window. Your feelings for another person just run you, you have no control. I hate not being in control. And now I am. Doing whatever the fuck I want at all times. It’s kind of hard to explain to people how intoxicating freedom really is when they’re just so keen on seeing you paired up like every other average Joe or Susan or whatever, just so they can have you all figured out. Solve you like a puzzle. It’s pure madness lol
I’ve literally never fully stated how I feel before tbh, I just nod politely or give fortune cookie answers, but literally I just couldn’t feel more strongly about this haha like.. I’m BARELY 31 and people asking me all these questions is crazy. Like me, married at 31? It’s giving child bride, sorry but be so fucking for real lol
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Magical Madeira, Portugal
michaelkagerer
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07/01/2024
It feels really funny to say that I technically just broke up with someone. I say technically because it’s only been over a month, but to me it feels like forever. One of my coworkers asked me today if I miss cooking with my ex because “we loved that so much”, and to her dismay I told her I barely think about him
Which as soon as I said it surprised me too
I used to be the kind of girl who would ruminate over all the what ifs and memories and the shoulda coulda woulda of it all. The kind of girl who would consider budging for the sake of keeping someone— which we all know in actuality is really just settling.
And now I’m the kind of girl you can only truly disappoint once before I immediately say “I think we should break up”, hang up the phone and go right back to living a super calm life.
And really, really mean it.
But the real secret here is that I’ve simply become the kind of grounded person I always aspired to be when I was young and impressionable and so quick to fall in deep.
All of my teenage years and the majority of my twenties were spent in indecision, in hoping and wishing rather than taking people at face value, in the delusion that you can change people if you love them hard enough.
But now, ever since going through multiple formative experiences, I actually love people better than I ever have before. With every pure intention, every ounce of optimism, acceptance and freedom I can think of. But with the very real understanding that it’s honestly not that deep. The moment you become so deeply rooted in who you are and what you want out of life is the moment you get to really experience life in a peacefully detached way. It’s the moment you realize that love is the freedom to share your life with someone if they add to your happiness, and the freedom to stop the moment they don’t. And that’s all there is to it folks. No hard feelings, no further exchange, just keeping your side of the street clean.
You just go right back to yourself, right back to being happy.
And that brings us to today, the day I remembered I’m supposed to be going through a breakup, I guess— but I’d completely forgotten about it lol
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05/21/2024
As grateful as I am for all the amazing people in my life, I'm actually even more grateful for the people I did not keep in my life.
A lot of the time that's so underrated in the sense that change is scary, and you feel like letting go of someone will leave some type of hole in your life. When to my surprise, letting them go changed my life completely.
Every single person I said goodbye to, I am thankful for. Because if it wasn't for the act of letting them go, I wouldn't know how much of a better version of myself I could become. How wonderful life really feels now. And how much they simply just didn't belong in mine, even if at some point I wished differently.
All the lessons, all the nostalgia, all the memories. Everything. All of it has been an experience that's shaped me for the better. They've helped me bring forth my best self for the people I did choose to keep.
I wouldn't change anything, and for that I thank them endlessly.
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