theoneshestole

[theoneshestole]

[theoneshestole]

tbh if someone just handed me a pressure washer and set me loose in the streets i would go into a trance and just start hosing shit down indiscriminately. it's not a question of how much i could clean, but how long until i get hit by a car and die

[theoneshestole]

hades explaining that he’s the god of the dead, not the god of death

[theoneshestole]

List of ancient beings on earth right now

Tommy Wiseau

Eric Andre

Keanu Reeves

[theoneshestole]

when tumblr gets inevitably deleted lets all go on one giant google doc

[theoneshestole]

vampires really should be able to get drunk they literally have to be alive forever let them have this

[theoneshestole]

[theoneshestole]

[theoneshestole]

Didn’t realise that the Beatles were performing live in the subway :’)

[theoneshestole]

New Windows 10 Privacy Issue

I was on the computer minding my own business when I happened to glance out the window and there was Bill Gates outside hiding in the bushes watching me through a pair of binoculars

[theoneshestole]

Sharpening a pencil is like upgrading from 480p writing to 1080p writing.

[theoneshestole]

person: you're pretty cool!

me: oh my god prepare to be very disappointed

[theoneshestole]

If the purge was real every school would be burned down every time

[theoneshestole]

*goes to england*

me: excuse me, what time is it?

brit: time wots that m8?

*big ben chimes*

everyone starts to count the bongs on their fingers*

brit: OI IT’S 7 BONG

[theoneshestole]

adhd culture is staying up until you physically cannot hold your eyes open anymore so that you don’t have to lay in the dark waiting to fall asleep and being filled with debilitating boredom

[theoneshestole]

[theoneshestole]