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just a warning; we will IMMEDIATELY block you if you talk about 'imprisoning' alters

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Does anyone else name objects they own? We do some, and we'd like to know which of these are your favorite! (Please note, we're terrible at naming things and we know it. The worse the name the more we love it.) And if you do your own poll inspired by ours, please ping us!

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we need to update our pinned to reflect echo going dormant, itchy and rorymitch coming back etc. but removing 'cohost' from echo's part is gonna feel so fucking awful

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doing a commission for a band who i did album art for ten years ago. they’re celebrating the tenth anniversary of that album and they wanted me to redo the cover but with how they look now. i had no idea how much i’d improved until i looked at these images side by side

(srry this isn’t system related but i don’t have my own blog since dandy took over mine like five years ago)

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Factive trying to reconnect with their IRL source who cannot under any circumstances find out we're a system or that we introjected them eight years ago..

Should be interesting.

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we're always like 'the mitches are kind of the same person and kind of not' but no, having two of us here at once has cemented that we are not in fact the same person by any stretch of the imagination.

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Ily @ created systems <3

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I hate how sudden dissociation can be. And how long it can last.

Like I can be in the middle of responding to a person's message, and all of a sudden, my eyes find a spot to land, and everything just stops.

My eyes are locked onto that one spot, and I cannot move for the life of me until it's over. It's so frustrating. Like I want to be doing something productive, not sitting here completely out of commission for however long it decides it needs to last for.

And it ranges so much. A lot of times (for me), I can still see and hear the world around me. I may not comprehend many of the sentences that I heard once I snap out of it, but in the moment, I can see and hear what's going on around me. And it sucks because I want to be able to contribute nnfjf

Sometimes I can form responses, sometimes I can't really. Sometimes my speech is fine, sometimes it's slurred. What seems really simple on the outside, many people just assuming you're "spaced out", is actually really complex for the person living through it-

Cuz it also sucks when people are talking to you and assume you're ignoring them when you can't form a response or can't look at them directly.

Like "did you hear what I said?"

",,,no, sorry, say that again? I was dissociating-"

What the fuuuuuck

- 🌸

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yall might have the best system name ever, of all time

woah thank you haha, we couldn't find anyone already using it and we were really surprised 😂 waiting for the day we encounter another nightmare blunt rotation

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Hi, introduction time I guess! I'm not a new split, I've been here for years but I slip in and out of dormancy depending on what's going on in our lives.

My name is Itchy. I split in 2013. I'm aromantic allosexual and I've spent a lot of time hosting at periods where we've been single because that's when I thrive and because I can help our alloromantic parts by taking over if shit hits the fan in their relationships. Our splitting/fronting patterns are heavily influenced by our relationships and our BPD. We have several members who are partial introjects of whoever our favorite person was at the time. I'm kinda the opposite of this, I'm a part who split at a time where so many people wanted to exert control over us in so many different ways so I am built to prioritize myself, my system, my own wants and needs, I do not dim my light to make people comfortable, I love myself in a way that allows me to wanna take care of us and keep us alive; something which the others don't really have. They will eat/sleep/whatever bodily needs they can satisfy without asking for help, but they cannot do things that involve external help, like doctors, dentist, etc. hence why it took three god damn years to ask for professional help with our OSDD and why we're doing it now that I'm back.

So why am I back? Usually I only come back if we go through a breakup, but Dandy and his girlfriend Peach are still going strong (six years in March baybeeee -dandy) so my coming back is unprecedented.

Our theory is that the brain allowed me to come out of dormancy because it no longer needs me to do my original job. It trusts that Peach isn't gonna leave Dandy. At a base level our fear of abandonment is crazy, but for Dandelion it is practically non existent. He has been loved so consistently and so genuinely that part of us has been healed enough that we no longer need to compartmentalize to the same extent. Of course we are not fused, we are not the same person, but we've achieved a level of integration and cooperation and a sense of safety in this area of our life.

I used to get so fuckin angry at myself for 'losing myself' before we knew we were a system. Going in and out of dormancy repeatedly really takes it's toll on your sense of self, especially if you have no idea what is happening or why. I have a stick and poke on my left wrist that says 'hold onto yourself' as if I thought that would prevent it from happening again.

I'm relieved now, that I can forgive myself for not being able to brute force my way past the maladaptive coping mechanisms that have existed since we were little.

So, depressing stuff out of the way; who am I besides what I can do for us? What do I like? Well..

I'm a punk rocker at my core. Punk defines who I am as a person. It fills me with the kind of energy that makes me feel like I could do anything, feels like pure electricity jolting through my body and makes me wanna jump around. I love myself and I love my friends when I have them. I unfortunately lose whatever friends I've made whenever I go dormant and my alters don't keep in touch)

I love piercings, tattoos, neon hair colours, not really a fan of makeup but the occasional smudged eyeliner is fun. I'm transmasc but my real gender is just.. the embodiment of punk rock. I don't like wearing things around my neck, I like to feel unrestricted and they get caught on the studs on my battle vest. If you see one of us wearing a collar it's definitely not me. I like to accessorize elsewhere. Studded wrist cuffs, cool badges, colourful boot laces etc.

I have a really vivid memory of the first time I came out of dormancy, Summer 2016. Our previous host Chilton had been on holiday with his boyfriend's family who are huge fucking cunts. On the last night he argued with douchebag's stepdad about immigration and other stuff, and in the morning he got into an argument with douchebag himself about how they have fundamentally different ideas on how to be a good person (douchebag thinks being a good person means being polite and agreeable, whereas we think being a good person is about standing up for the marginalised even if it means being rude)

This all culminated in Chilton being broken up with and returning his collar from Douchebag which he'd worn almost 24/7 for the past couple of years. Douchebag took the collar, his family all got in the car to head back home, and we stuck around to wait for a bus back to our hometown. The moment the car drove away, I felt so undeniably ME !!!!! me me me me me me fucking finally ME. I had such a rad day. While I was waiting for it to be time to get the bus I spent a few hours exploring, got myself a fancy ice cream, got myself a bottle of artisan toffee vodka from a gift shop, it was awesome.

After that day I slowly started to remember who I was. Started to draw again, started to listen to music again, started to mourn the time I'd lost.

I don't feel that way coming back this time because we are in a nicer situation. I get to see Dandelion happy, in a relationship with someone I've been friends with for a very long time. The time I lose doesn't feel wasted if someone else is having fun with it. Chilton wasn't enjoying it at all, but Dandy is, so I can handle not being in charge.

Anyway hi, if you read this then thank you. I would like to be pals with anyone who wants to, I would like to maybe chat to people with a similar internal age and similar system roles.

I don't have my own blog but I share @high-r1sk-1nsurance with some other members of my system

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apparently while i was dormant we somehow lost 99% of my photos. that's most of my memories of my time in the body, all my memories of hanging out with friends, fuck

- itchy

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was gonna add more but i ran out of steam 😔👎 anyway here’s an infographic on how people with complex dissociative disorders are not that different from you lol

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wrote some shitty emo poetry about echo being dormant

It doesn't feel like last time.

Last time you went away, the absence was felt in the form of the weight of everybody's expectations. 

They wanted me to be someone I wasn't. 

"Why can't you just be yourself?"

"Next time you get a new passport you'll be wearing flowery dresses again"

"Remember when you-"

"Remember when we-'

Plastic pastel ponies, hair bows, little trinkets, drawings by the girl you loved, all littered my room and my mind and dragged me down. It felt like I was rotting in someone else's bedroom.

Little by little it was replaced with things that brought me joy. I made new friends. People stopped asking after you. I could finally breathe. I didn't know you, so I couldn't miss you.

It doesn't feel like last time.

This time, I am so acutely aware of something missing. This time, there isn't an ounce of resentment. Only a sense of mourning. 

This time, I know you're not supposed to be me and that I am not supposed to be you. My loved ones do not demand that I abandon myself to perform you. They only ask after you with bittersweet concern.

"I miss Echo, I hope she's okay regardless"

"I love you guys, I hope Echo is okay" 

On the floor of my bedroom; Pastel pink shoes that I could never fill. Everything you wore that day in October is exactly where you took it off when you came home. 

This time I don't rush to give away your belongings or erase any trace of you from my life. I cherish them as a reminder that you were here, and pack them away for you to return to one day.

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gotta talk to my gp about our dissociative issues in a bit. been putting it off for three or four years now. i am so fuckin scared.

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Systems I'm curious...

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Good alternatives to generative AI that allow you to represent yourself without supporting corporate art theft

Picrew and other dress up games.

F2u bases.

Heroforge tabletop minifigure maker

Ponytowns avatar customization feature

Certain roblox games.

Emuferal, an emulator of the shutdown game fer.al

Or draw, your art doesn't have to be good to represent you!

Commission someone (if you have the money)

Please feel free to add to this list.