themuppetarchives

[themuppetarchives]

Jon. I don't want to alarm you. Yet please be careful entering Elias' office. I walked in on him and that weird sailor man doing STUFF. My poor felt feels kinda grotty now, gonna go take a shower.

Also do you want any tea?

The implication that Peter Lukas has appeared in muppet form is incredibly troubling. Troubling enough to put me off my tea, in fact.

[themuppetarchives]

17 November, 2024

Greetings Homosapians.

Is there anyone there? Is anyone left on Tumblr? Tumb er dot com. Webbed site, hashtag! I am the JOKER! I AM THE JOKER! I AM THE JOKER! Hi Ho, Kermit the Frog, here! Muppet the Hole, here! Don't be so coy. You can call me Croaker! You can call me! Don't be so coy.

Kermit. Joker. Bro Strider. Adam. Vriska. Dark Eve. Jesus is sleeping. Applejack is awake.

♤♡◇♧

DNI:

The Muppet Joker. I am scared of what I have created and will close my eyes when posting from now on so I am not harmed by my own hubris

Emos and those who indulge in the Chemical Romance. You people are sick

Minors, people over 30, and people who are 25. That is the age of arrogance

People who have a gemini moon in their astrological chart. You people are sick

People who were raised Lutheran

Twitter users

Tumblr users

Testosterone users. Just kidding love you Trans Genders OwO glomps you :3

People who identify with either binary gender. It's 2024 grow up and be Nonby (Short for Non Binary)

Those of you who do not understand the intellectual depths of Homestuck or misunderstand its themes... looking at you Karkat x John shippers

Mr. Strange. You may look at my blog but only when I am offline. If I catch you being online at the same time as me... *I evil smile and you get scared* I'LL MUPPING KICK YOUR ASS!!!!!!!!

Are you scared? Are you scared? Are you scared? Are you scared? Are you scared? Are you scared? Heh.

Run while you can.

[themuppetarchives]

Archivist

There are feathers in my napping box. They appear to be from a barn owl, species Tyto alba. Is there an owl trapped inside?

-📖

Not to worry, the bird is very much able to leave if it so chooses. It flew in here on its own. While I typically wouldn't approve of animals in the archives...well it isn't hurting anything or damaged any files.

Do let me know if you notice anything amiss, however.

[themuppetarchives]

Is there a bird in the archive now?

So it would seem.

[themuppetarchives]

Wb, we missed you

Thank you, though I am never truly far away. My Eye is always Watching.

[themuppetarchives]

ÛvÛ

Quite.

[themuppetarchives]

Have you 8een watching closely enough to spot The We8 within the Tree of Growth?

- Vriska

I have been watching closely but am withholding my suspicions until I can be more certain. Though if you have your own theories, I am, as always, happy to take your statement.

[themuppetarchives]

OvO

Yes hello, how many I assist you?

[themuppetarchives]

Curious indeed...I admit, I had been distracted from The Doors what with everything else going on.

Something to Watch, to be sure.

The Star has vanished from the sky. Hidden by divine knowledge coveted only by mortal men.

The doors are creaking now, their hinges ache to be swung. But fate is uncertain in this regard. Although it may be a linear path, the future presents forks in the road. And so the choice must be made: the path of the Man or the path of the Muppet?

[themuppetarchives]

dude I just finished watching strange aeons newest video about the croaker and now shit is happening again??? wtf why am i eternally cursed to be behind the lore????????

Unfortunately, the nature of recording and archiving events means that one is often racing to catch up with the present. It is a struggle I myself face all the time. Archiving and synthesizing events takes a significant amount of time and research, and the world seldom waits for you.

[themuppetarchives]

what the hap is fuckining.

The inevitable conflict of competing fringe spiritual factions existing within a closed space.

Milton has been taken by the Tree of Growth, Athena has, presumably, manipulated The Croaker by using his confused but devout Catholic faith against him, and...

There are a few factors that I haven't quite parsed out, but I'm keeping my eye on the situation.

Do Keep Watching 👁️

[themuppetarchives]

It is exhausting being right all the time.

have you seen all the stuff going on with the fruit cult?

I am aware of it. Certainly another manifestation of...something, though I have yet to ascertain what in particular is causing this...

I have been keeping my Eye on things, even in my absence, and I am extremely trepidatious regarding what seems to be the formation of various spiritual factions. The Rot, The Fruit Cult, the Croaker's own foray into monkhood, and...whatever is happening with Athena...

I doubt these groups will be able to maintain peace amongst themselves. Cult wars never go well...

[themuppetarchives]

have you seen all the stuff going on with the fruit cult?

I am aware of it. Certainly another manifestation of...something, though I have yet to ascertain what in particular is causing this...

I have been keeping my Eye on things, even in my absence, and I am extremely trepidatious regarding what seems to be the formation of various spiritual factions. The Rot, The Fruit Cult, the Croaker's own foray into monkhood, and...whatever is happening with Athena...

I doubt these groups will be able to maintain peace amongst themselves. Cult wars never go well...

[themuppetarchives]

I have been personally victimized by worms on multiple occasions, I feel like my bias is justified.

Stop sending me asks about The Rot.

I am well aware of The Rot.

Please stop mentioning the The Rot where it can hear you.

[themuppetarchives]

Oh wonderful, now the worm monstrosity is here to reprimand me. This is why we do not speak so much about things that have a habit of infecting what it touches.

Stop sending me asks about The Rot.

I am well aware of The Rot.

Please stop mentioning the The Rot where it can hear you.

[themuppetarchives]

Stop sending me asks about The Rot.

I am well aware of The Rot.

Please stop mentioning the The Rot where it can hear you.

[themuppetarchives]

I am so uncomfortable with this conversation.

I'm away for a few weeks and now there's sentient worms? Am I seeing this correctly? My goodness.