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themaraudersjournal · 3 days

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soulmates

ׂ╰┈➤ poly!marauders x fem!reader

╰ word count ₊˚ෆ 2.8k

finding out that you “belong with” the infamous marauders, you try to run and hide but fate has other ideas

tw ₊˚ෆ soulmate au, strangers to friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, angst w/ happy ending, hinted ravenclaw!reader (but not directly said), divorce hinted at (R’s dad cheated), minor injuries (R, mentions of cut/some blood), shitty ass writing/plot (you’ve been warned), not proofread :)

a/n ₊˚ෆ I hate this, but I finished it, and I never finish shit. so enjoy this if you’d like to.

At the age of ten you learned about soulmates when three symbols appeared on the inside of your writer. It happened on your birthday, the sight of it scared you and you tried to rub it off until your mom intervened. She had explained to you then–that the three symbols on your arm would fill in with color whenever you were near them. Then you had gagged and waved your mother off, but after a few years you had begun to yearn for it—and it only worsened once you got to Hogwarts.

After the sorting ceremony, your friend from back home found hers after just sitting at the dining table. She was ecstatic explaining it to you later. Unbeknownst to her, that night is what started your desire to know the three people you were ‘destined’ to be with. You started to obsess over it. Looking down at the three little markings on your wrist often for any sign that they were near.

Classes had started, and still no luck. A year had gone by, and still nothing. Over the summer your mother had consoled you, telling you it'll take time and that it's usually rare to find out so long. With your hands in hers, sitting on the couch, you asked her a question that would change your perspective on the entire thing. You asked if dad was her soulmate, and she responded with a heartbreaking no. Her ‘soulmate’ had cheated on her.

It changed you. To know that someone was supposed to be your forever could do such a thing, leave your mom broken and alone like that was terrifying, angering. You stopped checking your wrist often. You stopped checking other’s wrists to see if it matched yours. You stopped caring.

Years passed and you were now a Fifth Year at Hogwarts. And about to be late for your first potions class of the semester. There was barely any time left so when you arrived you threw yourself at the first open seat you could find. The air was run out of you, making you breathe heavily. You already caused a scene running in, you had nothing else to lose by breathing loudly.

“Sleep in?”

Your eyes flitted to the person beside you, “Possibly.”

“Oh I think the answer is ‘definitely’,” he grins, “I should know, I do it often.”

Seeing how you were still looking down at the table, moving items around–you noticed in your peripheral how he angled his body so he could see your face.

“Gonna tell me your name or shall I give you one?”

“Why?”

“You’ve been to Hogwarts, haven’t you? Seeing as we’re sitting together, we’re going to be lab partners.”

And that’s how you first met Sirius–sitting in the back of your potions class. At first it had felt suffocating, but now you couldn’t deny the way he made you laugh. Over time you found yourself enjoying his presence, even accepting his invites to study outside of class.

He told you to meet him at the library, but he never said where. You scanned the tables first before you wandered down the book isles, scanning each row until you found him on some random aisle in the charms section.

“Sirius,” you whispered, tone harsh as to grab his attention, “I’ve been looking for you, I–”

“Shh, dollface. Can’t you see I'm reading?”

You brush off the nickname, “you never read, Sirius.”

“Excuse you, I absolutely do. Only if it involves something I’m interested in.”

You move to see the title of the book, “jinxes?”

“Only trying to spice life up a bit.”

You sighed, “we really must finish this assignment, I’d hate to get a bad grade already so early on in the school year.”

When he didn’t budge, you sighed dramatically to pull him out of whatever trance the book seemed to have him in. He trailed behind you, mumbling something about having to tell someone about what he just read later. A few minutes later you found some seating in one of the aisles, the row having only three seats. With the one on the end taken, it forced the two of you to be pushed closer together on the inside.

“I didn’t bring my notebook because my friend’s using it and I assume you don’t have yours,” you mumbled while you flipped through the pages of some old book, “so we’ll have to use this to understand the potion for the assignment. It’s pretty detailed so maybe we can both read it and discuss what we took away after. We have to have this information ready–Sirius, I feel like you’re not listening.”

“Good observation, gorgeous–I’m not. This is a complete snore-fest.”

“This ‘snore-fest’ is 25% of your grade,” you whispered with a smile, moving the book closer to him, “so read. Please. If not for yourself, please do it for me.”

He reluctantly did so, moving his eyes off of you and onto the length paragraphs inside the book. Every now and then he would make a reluctant sound. Sometimes his leg would jitter too much, and hit the leg to your chair. You paid it no mind, and for some reason you enjoyed it–a smile on your face as you read another copy of the book.

“Sirius, why’re you in the library? And reading as well, are you alright?”

You watched Sirius angle himself out of the corner of your eye towards what seemed to be another Fifth Year–just with shorter, brown hair.

“Oh fuck off, it’s for an assignment.”

“I’ve never seen you read for an assignment.”

“I’ve already been attacked by this lass, I don’t need anymore from you.”

“And who is this lass?”

And that’s when you meet James. It was a quick hello, but for some reason after that moment he would pop up everywhere. In the hallway, out in Hogsmeade, across the way while sitting at the dining tables in the great hall. It’s only been short smiles and waves until you bumped into him

outside the Quidditch arena. He called out your name, wondering to you in his get-up.

“James,” you breathed, “you play quidditch?”

“Yeah, just finished a game now. We won,” he smiled wide, leaning on his broom, “I take it you don’t care much for sports?”

“Sorry, no–but that’s wonderful. And what position do you play?”

“Seeker.”

You hummed, “well maybe I’ll come watch you sometime.”

If it was possible, it looked like his smile grew. He reached back to pull someone from the crowd, “this is Remus. He comes to my games often. If you’d like someone to sit with so you’re not alone, he’s here.”

You smile at him, “alright, thank you.”

And that’s how you meet Remus, unknowingly meeting all three of your soulmates within the span of a week. For whatever reason you never checked your wrist. You left your sleeve to cover the area, keeping the markings hidden from your sight. Unbeknownst to you, throughout the next few weeks you would be unaware of how each marking would fill in with color. With Sirius, there was a small dog head that filled with black whenever you were near him. James had a stag that filled with brown, and Remus had a wolf that filled with gray. All three imprints were small, huddled in close together on the underside of your wrist–just barely reaching over an inch in size. Through all the time you spent–going to the Three Broomsticks, attending their Quidditch games, and even sometimes encouraging a jinx on some rotten teacher. You would consider yourself friends–but the tinted markings on your wrist suggested otherwise.

“Darling,” James called to you, “are you sure this is where you went?”

“Yes,” you answered, stepping over an enlarged root, “I’m sure.”

“Just say you don’t trust her,” Sirius quips.

“I do, I just feel like we’ve passed by that stump over there before.”

You were leading the three of them into the forbidden forest after stating that just earlier on your walk to Hogsmeade you saw the mushrooms they were looking for in their potions recipe. They practically begged you, mainly Sirius, to be able to find such an ingredient after being banned from the ingredient cabinet in the classroom downstairs. You were sure the mushrooms were just on this corner, sitting just outside of the forest–but somehow you found yourself wandering through the shrubbery with the boys in tow. Everyone was confused.

“Dove,” Remus started, moving closer to talk privately to you, “if you’re feeling a little fuzzy on where it's located, it’s okay to turn back around and re-evaluate. We are getting quite deep into the forest now.”

You stop, looking directly at him, “I swear it was here. The area is all the same basically. I’m sorry, I didn’t know I’d be leading everyone into nowhere.”

“No one’s upset. I had only brought it up because it’s getting dark outside. Might be best to head back and look tomorrow, we’re in no rush.”

“Thank you,” you smiled, “I’ll make sure you all are able to complete that prank, promise. It just won’t be tonight.”

“I agree with heading back, I’ve heard that students get lost in the woods past dark,” Sirius said, arms resting on his hips.

James looks at him with a weird expression, “where’d you hear that?”

“Why I overheard some professors discussing it. Some couple came out here to make out and didn’t return.”

“I say we hurry back then so we don’t face their wrath,” James whispered, already taking the first step forward.

The forest had an earthy smell that got stronger when the moon started to arise as the forest began to cool. It was quite cold, the wind rushing through the swaying trees causing goosebumps to appear on your skin. James and Sirius were ahead this time, deep in discussion while you and Remus talked in the back.

Two minutes into the walk–that was just starting to feel peaceful–a galloping sound was heard somewhere in the woods. You had enough time to look back when you felt the ground under you rumble, but none when a centaur came barreling through. One then another, then another appeared. They pushed through the area, not caring or not seeing the four of you standing there.

Sirius moves from where he was leaning on a tree for protection, almost cheering, “that was fantastic.”

You wince from your place on the ground, trying to pick yourself up from where you had been knocked over. Behind you heard someone curse and another coming to help lift you up, “are you alright?”

“I’m fine, just a few scratches is all,” you said, brushing the leaves and dirt off of your clothes, “is anyone hurt?”

You look around while James shushes you, “we’re fine, sweetheart. Just worried about you is all, looked like you fell pretty hard.”

“Like I said I’m fine, especially after the fact I just saw a centaur.”

Your statement brought up a conversation, one that lasted until you all were back inside Hogwarts. Throughout the walk you were gripping your wrist, more specifically your shirt. During your fall, your wrist had snagged on something–tearing your shirt and the skin underneath. When you went to stand, you caught a glimpse of the cut–and the pigmented marks on your wrist.

You started to avoid them after that night. First it was pretty subtle, you had done a good job of convincing them and yourself that you weren’t removing yourself. You smiled their way, talked to them, but you declined offers to hangout.

Just now they had invited you to join them on a walk over to Hogsmede because Remus wanted to get a new book–and you turned them down, saying you had elsewhere to be.

“I don’t remember her being this busy,” Remus stated.

“There’s no way she’s ignoring us,” Sirius conveyed, looking at the two of them nervously.

That remark spiraled them. When you started to pull away more, they were sure their suspicions were true. You rushed past them, even said you were busy when on the map it showed that you were in your dorm room.

You were ignoring the life-changing news that you found out last week, which translated into ignoring them and trying to keep busy to avoid accepting the truth–to avoid the confrontation of spilling the truth. That you were their soulmate.

It broke you to find out because you didn’t want your time with them to end. Didn’t want the news of a soulmate to tear you four apart like it did with your mom and dad. To willingly remove yourself from three people who changed your life from the better was heart-wrenching. In some sick way, your mind tried to convince you it was better this way. They’d leave you like how your dad left your mom. Four people together? It’ll never work. Plus they seemed happier just the three of them.

Today was Friday, a day you usually spent with them in Hogsmeade–but today you walked those streets by yourself. You had started to read a book at the library before deciding halfway through that you needed to buy it, the reason why you were in Hogsmeade. And just outside when you stepped back into the cold air, you ran chest-to-chest with Remus.

“Gonna run away like you always do,” Sirius remarked, face cold, indifferent. He didn’t seem to care much when it made your face drop further than it already had, “it’s alright, you can leave–we understand. We know how highly you think of yourself now.”

“I don’t think that at all–” you start before stopping, looking at the others walking by on the street, “can we talk. Please.”

“So now you want to talk? That’s fucking rich. After all the times you’ve run away when we tried to talk to you, we have every right to leave you right here.”

“You’re right, I don't,” you said, pushing down on the sadness that was already beginning to crawl up your throat. You tuned, but didn’t get far when a hand grabbed your wrist.

“We’d love to talk to you,” Remus professes, “just after we move somewhere quieter.”

He guided you, moving towards a more secluded area by the river that ran through the small city. You were far enough from the crowds, but you all could hear the faint sounds of the street performer in the back.

“So,” Sirius probes, “why have you been acting like we don’t exist?”

“It’s not you, it’s me. Only recently my mom disclosed some information about my dad and why he left. It ruined my perspective on soulmates, made me believe they were all a hoax because why would you be destined with someone who’d do that to you? So I got scared when I found out I was yours. I didn’t want to ruin what we had. I thought surely it wouldn't work between us. Four people? How uncommon is that? Instead of giving it a chance or even communicating this to you–I ran away, and I shouldn't have. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

“To be honest I thought we all knew we were soulmates. I check mine often. When the third little design on my wrist glowed whenever you were around, I knew it was you and I told the others,” Remus added, “But we all should’ve communicated that. That’s on all of us.”

Seeing the tears turn your eyes shiny Sirius sighs, moving forward to pull you into a hug, “why’re you crying, dollface? Sad that you got three attractive men as your forever partners.”

Feeling his arms around you, the scent of him invading your senses makes the tears start to flow, “I just don’t want you to leave me.”

“We’re not leaving, not ever,” James proposed as he and Remus moved close to wrap their arms around the two of you.

You laughed at the feeling of James’ lips tickling your neck.

“Missed you a lot, sweetheart,” he mumbled into the skin, pulling himself closer, “one summer’s too long without you.”

The train’s cushions were comfortable, but they were barely enough to hold you and James–so when Sirius moved onto the seat, you were pushed up against the wall. He had expressed his excitement walking into the cabin, tossing his suitcase onto the other seat before wrapping himself around James’ back.

“Fucking hell I’ve missed you.”

He placed a kiss onto yours and Jame’s cheek before moving onto the other cushion, giving space for when Remus arrived. There was joy and excitement held in each other’s hearts, knowing you all got to see each other again after months of waiting. It was torture, and the letters did nothing. Remus was last, moving into the cart with a relaxed smile. Sirius had held out his hand, pulling him onto the seat so they could greet one another.

“Mm, missed you loads,” Remus whispered, smiling against Sirius and looking over when he heard you laugh.

You were continuing to try and move James away, trying to stop his attack on your neck. You were trying to spew words between your gasps and laughter, trying to move him off but the sounds of you laughing were too contagious.

“James, give the girl a rest. She looks like she’s going to implode.”

“Fine,” he said, moving away, “oh hey Remus.”

“Hi Prongs.”

You greeted Remus after James, feeling yourself grow warm when you feel him press a kiss to your cheek.

The both of you leaned back into the seat after, James wrapping an arm around you, “ready for another year at Hogwarts?”

“Absolutely.”

#THESE TAGS ARE SO SWEETTTT #THANK YOU LOVELY!!!!#IM SOOOOOO HAPPY THAT YOU ENJOYED IT!!

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themaraudersjournal · 3 days

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to those who read poly!marauders, vote which idea you’d like me to post next (and if you like, I can tag you when it comes out <3)

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themaraudersjournal · 4 days

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never a burden

poly!marauders x fem!reader

you get caught making out with James in the hallway causing you to face a punishment from the new headmaster. when the punishment turns out to be one that scars words into your skin after writing them down on paper–you try to hide it from the guys so as to not concern them.

tw: established relationship, R is making out with James in the first part (suggestive–read at your own discretion), hurt/comfort, injury (r sustaining, tw blood), this is based off of Umbridge’s punishments for the students in Harry Potter’s time, not proofread :)

You’ve had a knack of getting in trouble. It’s unavoidable when you date three of the known pranksters at Hogwarts–not to mention it's worse when you’re the one initiating ideas. And somehow, even after the series of ones that you’ve done, you’ve never been in detention. It didn’t make much sense to you, but you never questioned it. You were happy with your clean track record–that soon or later got busted when the new headmaster came in.

You didn’t care too much about said news until her new rules came to affect you. You learned fast that her new rules were stricter and a whole lot less fun to deal with.

There really wasn’t any reason why James had your bodies so close together in public like this. It wasn’t necessarily a rarity–you’ve shared moments in public similar to this–but you’ve never had it escalate to this point. He’s been kissing you breathless, lips back on yours just seconds after moving to breathe. His hands were resting on your waist, yours on his face–pulling his face closer to deepen said kiss.

“Oh no, no, no,” an airy voice says, voice getting louder as she moves closer, “this will not do.”

The both of you are dragged away from one another, your back hitting a wall that was a few feet behind you. You looked to her, the new headmaster, and already began to wish for her leave. She had her wand stuck up like a priss, beady eyes motioning between the two of you.

“Who initiated this downright outrageous act,” she asks, humming at the end when neither of you answer quick enough.

James’ mouth had moved like he was going to answer but it froze when he heard you.

“Me. I did, headmaster.”

“Mm, that's so. Come with me to my office, dear, you’ll be facing detention,” she says, giving James a look when he starts to defend you, “anyone else who wishes to do the same as these two, or question my motives, will also face detention.”

While following her to the office you mouthed at James, telling him you’ll be alright. Based on how the boys described it, you’ll just be sitting in silence for an hour–which is nothing to be afraid or concerned over.

She opens the door to her office, pointing at a seat nearby. A desk sat in front, empty until she placed a pen and paper in front of you.

“I want you to write down, ‘I will keep my distance.”

“How many times?”

“Well let’s see. However many times it takes for the message to sink in?”

“You haven’t given me any ink?”

“Oh, you won’t need any, dear.”

You almost roll your eyes, hand angling on the paper to begin writing out the suggested phrase. After a few words your hand began to itch, tingling and burning. Once the ‘e’ had finished drying on the paper, you gasped when you looked over to your hand to find the phrase etched into your skin. It burnt like hell, slight blood trickling out from the corner. You learned to not dig hard into the paper then. You tried to write softly, ink barely showing on the paper as it would help to not dig so deep into your skin in search of ink. After four you felt like crying, tears forming in your eyes and making it hard to see. She had noticed, putting the pen down and saying that it seems like you’ve learned your lesson before sending you out.

You turned to the closest bathroom, running the cold water over your injury. Tears fell down your face as the blood mixed with the water, turning it red until it got washed out. There wasn’t a sure way of keeping this to yourself, but you wanted to try. The boys, and especially James, didn’t need to know the events that transpired. It’ll only concern them. You didn’t want to give them another thing to worry about, feeling like you’ve used up too many of those ‘worry over me’ cards this week. If the wounds worsen or if you’re able to go a few days–then you’ll tell them.

Then it’ll be good enough of a reason to ‘burden them’ again.

“Sweetheart,” James exclaims when he finds you outside of his dorm room, moving aside to let you in.

Sirius presses a kiss to your head when you come to sit by him, “how was your first time in detention, gorgeous.”

You clenched your fingers over the fresh wounds, “it was fine, boring. I see why you all hate it.”

They moved from it–something you wanted to happen–so why did it upset you? You want to keep it from them, you’ve already burdened them enough this week, they don’t need another moment where the focus is on you.

You had stressed over a test recently, confiding in them about it. You fretted over your owl when he didn’t return around his usual timing, again confiding in them about it. You lost an item in their room, and they helped you search for it. You’ve done enough.

“Dove,” Remus calls, walking towards you, “what’s that on your arm?”

“Paint,” you lie, but it came too sudden–and you were never good at lying to them.

He huffs, smiling at you, “still a terrible liar. Did you hurt yourself?”

You look over at Sirius immediately and by the look on your face, everyone knows the look to him first was intentional. He sits up, “Why’re you giving me that look?”

“Don’t get mad.”

“What happened,” he demands, looking over at your shirt that’s discoloring more with each minute.

“The headmaster today gave a rather unruly punishment.”

That’s all you explain before pushing your sleeve down with reluctant energy. Remus holds under your wrist, thumb affectionately rubbing the non-wounded skin as he looks over the injury. James had gotten up from his space, moving to get a glimpse as well.

“From now on, I’ll go if she ever calls us to her office again,” he claims, earning a look from everyone after.

“That will not be happening,” Remus whispers, moving the two of you towards his bed so he can officially clean out the wound with items inside of his drawer.

“And why not? I agree with James. If something happens, I’ll take the blame,” Sirius proposes.

“Because we’ll find a way around her. We don’t need to be obvious buffoons,” you wince when Remus wraps just a bit too tight in one area. He apologizes sweetly to you before continuing, “While we’re at it we can send a letter to the rightful headmaster, let him know what’s going on because this is appalling.”

You know the two agree when they move on with the conversation.

“Love,” James looks to you, “why were you trying to keep this a secret?”

“I felt as if I've burdened you all enough this week, and didn't want to overwhelm you.”

“That’s highly unlikely to ever happen. Do you even remember all of the times I’ve asked for help this week?”

Sirius snorts at his remark, and James chooses to ignore it for now.

“Don’t ever think that giving us an opportunity to love and support you will turn into an event where you believe you’ll drive us away. You’re not a burden.”

“But we are,” Sirius says, standing up from the couch, “well we will be after we scare this headmaster back to where she came from because who the fuck uses a cursed pen for a punishment. All you were doing was making out.”

“Be nice Padfoot, maybe she got caught with someone before and wanted to recreate that scene to make herself feel better,” James comments, smiling when he hears you laugh.

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themaraudersjournal · 4 days

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LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

Jade can I please get a chatty af yapper sunshine girlfriend with Sirius?? Like May be someone tells her she talks a lot so she's super quiet around him cuz she's worried he'll get annoyed and break up with her but poor Sirius he misses his chatty girl and just angst with fluff

thank you for requesting! fem, 1.4k

James Potter means well. Honestly, you don’t think he has a mean bone in his body, so you try not to take it to heart.

Unfortunately, your attempts to do so don’t work. They really, unquestionably don’t. By the time you’re outside of Sirius’ flat that afternoon, James’ small comment is all you can think of.

“You’re so chatty I’m surprised you don’t run out of breath,” he’d said. Not without love. You’d bumped into him in Sainsbury’s and ended up talking for ages about one thing or another, you know him well, you’d even say you were friends, though he’s of course Sirius’ friend rather than your own. “But I’m the same. God, Sirius used to hate how much I talked, he’d be sick of me. I think I numbed him to it over the years.”

You can’t imagine it. Sirius and James are best friends. With Remus, they’re the most in love threesome of friends you’ve ever met, and it’s nice; it makes you very proud to have a boyfriend who cares for others as deeply as Sirius cares for them. It’s like a constant demonstration of how he’s a good man.

But you’d never stopped to consider that they weren’t always so seamless, and you’ve regrettably never considered that your constant talking is something that could put him off.

You talk to Sirius about everything. There isn’t a word to describe the excitement of having someone waiting to listen to you every single night. You could tell him every detail of a day down to what colour socks you wore and you know he’ll sit there listening with his hand on the small of your back, or his fingers twined between yours. You’ve never felt so loved as to be able to just talk about everything and have him talk back.

But… what if, this whole time, he’s been wishing for a little bit of quiet?

What if eventually, the talking becomes too much?

He must be with you for a reason. You aren’t holding the poor guy hostage, he acts like he’s mad for you ninety percent of the time (while the other ten percent is spent sleeping on your shoulder).

Like now —you knock his door and you can hear him scrambling up from the sofa, the sound of a book dislodged or a remote hitting the rug, you’re not sure. The door yanks open and Sirius smiles at you, pulling you in through the gap with a familiar hand on your hip.

“Hey,” Sirius says, tucking you against his side, “hey, did you get lovelier over the weekend?” He shoves the door closed and gives you a hug with one arm, pausing in the hall. “Sorry I couldn’t see you. I don’t think we should miss another weekend.”

You have a lot to tell him. It’s been ages since you spent nearly three days apart, but James’ conversation stays at the front of your mind.

You decide to be less overwhelming, but not less loving, curling your arm behind his head to pull his cheek down for a kiss. “I don’t think so, either.”

Sirius tilts his head away from you in an invitation for more kissing.

You’re at home in his flat. You take off your shoes and hang up your jacket. You change into a pair of jogging bottoms with loose legs and let him hoist you onto his bed for a few stolen kisses, though he isn’t propositioning you, and you end up laying across his bedspread with one of your legs in his lap as he tells you about his days without you, his thumb sliding with pressure down your calf.

“Mostly I wished I’d asked you to come over anyways, even if it was just to sleep together at the end of the day. Maybe next time we can do that?” he asks.

“Of course we can.” You smile at him indulgently. “I’d come over for twenty minutes if it was all I could get.”

“Or I can come to you,” he says, “even if it’s just twenty minutes.”

He smiles, a beaming thing, and leans down slowly for a soft kiss.

“So,” he asks, his breath on your lips, “how was your weekend? Lonely?”

“So lonely,” you tease lightly, eyes fluttering closed as he continues his massaging of your leg. “But it was okay. I missed you, really, and didn’t do much else.”

“No?” he asks.

Your voice takes on a shine as he squeezes your knee, “Missed your hands.”

“I missed your everything.” He grabs for your forearms and pulls you into a sitting position. “But everything was okay?” he asks more seriously.

“Everything was fine.”

He raises his eyebrows, but eventually lets them relax. “Well, okay. Good, sweetheart, I’m glad it was okay.”

He persuades you into the kitchen to sit with him as he makes dinner, refusing to let you help, and yet insisting you be there in the same room, as though you’d like to be anywhere else. Sirius makes your favourite of his usual rotation, offering you spoonfuls for tasting, gaps of silence stretching as he struggles to find new conversation. You start answering his questions but remember time and time again that Sirius could become totally sick of you. He might already be.

Sirius puts the food on a low heat and washes his hands. He wipes them dry, but when he takes your face, dampness lines the inside of his fingers.

“I’d like for you to tell me what’s wrong,” he says gently, stroking at the line of your startled frown, “before it gets worse. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Please don’t, lovely. If I’ve done something wrong, please tell me. I want us to last forever, and we can’t do that if you won’t tell me when I upset you.”

“It wasn’t you,” you say instinctively, then regret it.

“So someone has?” he asks, still so gentle as his hands coast down your neck like he’s sculpting you, coming to rest on the slopes leading to your shoulders. “You can tell me anything. You don’t have to keep it to yourself… please.”

“Are you sure?”

“Sweetheart.” He frowns deeply. Couldn’t look more upset. “Of course I’m sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”

You chew it over, not wanting or willing to cause ructions between Sirius and his oldest friend. “Well, I saw James today at the shop, and… we were talking about you…”

He waits. “And?”

“And he told me you– you don’t like talking. That you didn’t like talking, that James used to make you sick of it. So I know I talk too much and you’ve never made me feel like I shouldn’t, but I guess I got into my head thinking you’d get sick of me, too.”

“When we were younger I didn’t like much of anything.” He curls an arm behind your neck to hold you in place, but it’s not a dominant sort of movement, only protective as your noses inch together. “Did you ever read that poem by Bukwoski? Let It Enfold You?”

“What?”

“I’m not very good at explaining myself. I thought if you knew the poem, you’d–” He laughs near your cheek. “I hated everything. It wasn’t James’ fault. He did make me sick of it sometimes, but I just wanted to hide from everything.” He breathes out slowly. “I’ve never wanted to hide from you. I can’t get sick of you. Do you get that? I can’t get sick of you. Listening to you is the best part of my day, you’re my personal chatterbox.”

“Chatterbox,” you repeat teasingly.

“You could talk for Wales,” he says. “And I love it, I don’t want you to stop, because I’ll never be sick of it.”

“I don’t want it to be some secret resentment.”

“I don’t resent you for anything. I knew exactly who you were when we met and I love it.” He takes your face again. “I love it,” he repeats.

You steal a little kiss against the corner of his lips. “What was the poem?” you ask.

“I’ll find my book, and you can read it to me. What do you think?” He takes a slow kiss as you had in the same place, words like honey. “I miss your voice.”

He’s basically pleading. It’s not like Sirius to plead, but you pull it out of him.

“Can I have my dinner first?”

“The one I made while you deprived me?” he asks. “Yes, if you must.”

He takes another kiss, but you’re happy to give it.

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themaraudersjournal · 4 days

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Sirius Black who goes out of his way to obnoxiously open the door for you Everytime y'all are out in public because one time you ran straight into it when he forgot to hold it open for you.

Sirius Black who tries his hardest to never fight in front of his friends knowing the moment your eyes water or lip just out even a little bit he'll forgive you immediately and his friends will make fun of him until the end of time.

Sirius Black who randomly turns into Padfoot whenever he's stressed and will run straight towards your dorm knowing you'll welcome him with open arms.

Sirius Black who unconsciously searches for you in crowds or at least always has an eye on you in fear of losing you just like he lost his brother after not paying enough attention to him.

Sirius Black who tries his hardest to plan at least one date a month so you two never end up like his mother and father. Out of reach from each other.

Sirius Black who proposes on the last day of school the second after y'all graduate not being able to wait for the dinner he had set up later.

Sirius Black who loves you unconditionally no matter what happens. Even going to Azkaban for years on end with no contact.

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