thelostudent

[thelostudent]

Unrecognizable

I don’t know anymore if this was just hormones or already depression.

[thelostudent]

Second-hand Smoke

There is a place where it rains diamonds and your magnetism whisked away the last thread of my sanity.

You fit the pigments of my sensitive fondness in the palm of your hand as you keep your money in your pocket while I keep you in my dreamland.

There is a place where I am not yet in love with you because you feel like a second-hand smoke —- unwanted, passive, subtle, and more deadly.

Am I magnificently cursed?

Because now I am covered in you.

[thelostudent]

I used to be so proud of writing you a letter now I feel so pathetic.

[thelostudent]

[thelostudent]

I just wished you replied.

[thelostudent]

oh. my. god.

Vegan Snickers Cake

[thelostudent]

i don't know for how long i can go writing about something i felt,

or how long before i'll feel it again.

i can never forget the feeling but i will also never stop needing to feel that way,

waiting for you is worth it but the uncertainty of love eats me inside out.

[thelostudent]

[thelostudent]

I tell myself “you got this” all the time, even with tears in my eyes.

[thelostudent]

WHAT IF?

Our greatest "what if" is not always someone. Sometimes it's a dream that you had to let go and it's hard to get back to it that it only became a "what if". And you have to accept that it wasn't for you. Does it hurt more if your what if was a person? I don't think so.

A person, a dream, a situation. Whenever we don't get something that we want so bad we thought it was ours, and then the universe gives us all the signs that it wasn't, it will crush us and it makes us not to want something or someone ever again.

The fear of trying again is banging through your head. You'd rather settle for a "what if" than to try again. It's not our place to judge someone why they did not pursue that career or that person because in every "what if" there was once been a pocket of hope and a leap of faith.

[thelostudent]

[thelostudent]

Be Discerning

I learned to be careful and wise in choosing a partner because this person will not only have access to your life but to the lives of the people that matter to you as well.

A perfect relationship is a myth and there's no such thing as a perfect partner. But a healthy one is possible and this should be the standard.

When a relationship crumbles, you will get hurt, and also those important people in your life. And it's more painful to see them hurting than you feeling the pain itself.

So, be discerning.

[thelostudent]

Ninoy Was Wrong

I used to think that it's okay to die for your country. As long as you are fighting for the right causes, for the truth, and for justice.

I understand that we practice a democratic government and everyone has their own right to choose the leaders they want bearing in mind that these leaders hold the future of our country.

But after the recent election and seeing those same people you want to fight for chose the same trapoliticians who once destroyed our nation and continually doing so, I realized that Ninoy was wrong.

Filipinos are not worth dying for.

[thelostudent]

To Whom It May Concern

You are someone that I know

Who covers up my whole sky

Who fills up my whole heart

Whose name I write in testing papers for pens and markers

Who is at end of the invisible string

Whom I thought late nights in the early stage of June

The one who drew stars around my scars

The words my pen bleeds

The songs that send me to sleep

The memory I kept remembering

The new love language

That one that I love

[thelostudent]

Blue Hearts For My Gemini Love Language In Heaven

[thelostudent]

“Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.”

— Sylvia Plath

[thelostudent]

You Only Exist When You're Useful

Nobody is checking up on me because they're used to me checking up on them. They always think I can get through anything what this life will decide to throw at me thus, checking up on me even a simple, "How are you?" doesn't seem necessary.

People assume that I can always manage. Well, I do. But what they seem to not realize is even if I am not asking for anyone's attention, it wouldn't hurt to ask if how am I doing. Even if I can manage does not mean I don't get hurt and I am not tired.

I only exist when they need something. I only exist when they need me. I don't exist when I'm not useful.