thelostbutfoundstories

[thelostbutfoundstories]

Love in this day in age.

Love. Love is such a powerful word. For some people it can send chills rippling through their stomachs and flutters bouncing all around their stomach. But for others, its just a word. A word that they use to make someone stay. A word to fulfill someones sexual desires. A word that may not even be real. Love is a long lost word that I feel no one really takes seriously anymore. A word so Powerful that it makes my heart swell with happiness and grateful.

Let me back up for a moment. Let me explain. Let me explain why I feel so strongly about the word love. Also from experience. At the age of 15, I was only a teenager running around trying to fulfill my wants and “needs”. I had a group of really close friends that all hung out every weekend. It was amazing and I never thought id come across a better group of friends in my life. I thought I had it made. There was about eight of us at the beginning. We had a few couples in the group at the time as well, but we all accepted it. They were our friends, how couldn’t we!? Things went so well. Best friends, high school fun stuff. But once the age of 16 had hit, there was one thing about our group of friends that not many people had in their group. No Alcohol or drugs. Being a sophomore in high school that didn’t drink or smoke was WILD! We all really believed that we could have the time of our lives without being controlled by a toxic liquid courage, that controlled us like puppets on strings. Or this crazy fog type substance that made you feel silly and act the ways you never have before. That right there was love. We all bonded so well and did everything together. But one weekend, we had someone new come along. Someone with a bottle of that crazy, liquid courage shit. Half of the group put that bottle up to their lips and let the toxins slide right down their throat and into the stomach. The other half of us, were shook. We couldn’t fathom the horror that our friends did. We didn’t understand why they were so accepting to it after being so hateful towards it. Four of us parted ways and left the house we were hanging out at. One of the girls that had left with us just so happen to be in a relationship with one of the fellas that had stayed back to take part in the toxic activities. She had been stressing and worrying about the whole situation for here on out. Watching someone hurt, worry and stress is to who I am. It truthfully hurts me watching them kind of things take place. I tried my hardest to help her in any way I could, she’s one of my closest friends, I just had too.

I had been single for a while at this point, not really looking for anyone, nor shutting the idea out. My love life had just been on pause I guess for a while.

Fast Forward: Months have past, things never really got back to normal and our group of friends happen to split up into two groups. But remember that girl I tried to help? Yeah, well things didn’t get easier for her. They had split up. After dating someone for so long at that age, felling like you had loved them the whole time.. it kills you. It rips your heart out and gets ran over by a eighteen wheeler. I had messaged her on social media and told her I would be here for her whenever she needed me. For ANYTHING.

Weeks go by, we talk almost every single day. Me trying to hep her and distract her from what feels like the most terrible thing in the world. by the way, ill have to agree with her though, I as well feel like at that age a year or more relationship is a high deal I’ve dealt with it myself, it is a shitty thing and it odes weight heavy on you. But while we carry on conversations thats go just a little deeper then expected. I mean thats not a bad thing at all, I’m really enjoying this.

One night, I was at home.. just home relaxing on a winter vacation alone in my room. I just happen to click on this girls profile that I had been helping through hard times… and I had this weird feeling arise in the pit of my stomach. Was confused on what this feeling was and why? i Scroll upon this picture of me, her and two other friends. It was a goofy one. But was locked on her. This feeling it my stomach was getting worse and I felt nervous. I brushed off this weird feeling and kept on with my night. But my curiosity kept my mind on cruise control with tunnel vision. As I sat there in my room, on my bed and thinking what possibly could this be and why? I laid back into my bed and began to dose off, slowly fading out and into my dreams… I hear a soft voice next to me speaking in my direction. Its so soft and gentle. I turn my head and notice I’m near a pool. No one is around, just me and the soft spoken voice. Is it down on the edge of the pool and sink my feet into the chilling yet refreshing water. I warm finger runs along my shoulder working its way from the right to the left. i look to my right to glance at who is touching me. As I do, I hear someone sit down to my left. “I was hoping to see you here.” Says the soft voice. I turn my head to the right. I lock eyes on this beautiful women. Brown eyes, brown hair. With a solid yellow bikini. The chilling water felt like ice. Goosebumps ran up my legs, through my body and to my finger tips. Ive seen this women before, just not sure where? words finally spilled from my mouth. “How did you find me here?”. a smile grows upon her face as she glances down at the Cristal blue water. “I know you better then you think, silly”. She then lifts off the edge and slides into the pool. The yellow bikini sinks underwater and through to the other side, then disappears. She’s gone. I stand up in confusion and disbelief. I was thinking to myself “No! That not it, I need more! Need to know more!”. I turn around, scrambling for a towel. i wrap myself in this body devouring towel. Is it down, strongly press my palms to my eyes. “Time to go so soon?” Said the soft voice. Quickly as I possibly can I remove my hands from my face and look up towards the voice. Its her. I stand up and looks a couple inches down from eye level and ask her “Where do I know you from?” She laughs softly, “Right here babe.” She leans in to get her face closer to mine. My hands creep up to her cheeks, to feels such a elegant and mesmerizing touch. She wraps her arms around to back. I get this weird feeling arise in my stomach. Our eyes our locked with each others with the keys no where to be found. No words are spoken. I lean in to feel this soft lips of this beautiful angle. We get closer and closer. My heart starts thumping harder and harder. I prepare myself for this moment. A kiss, but not just any kiss. A kiss with such an amazing person. I know nothing on who she is, where she came from, yet I know this face. But I would love to know it better. My hand slides under her chin and pulls it up towards me. Our lips touch slowly. As my heart skips a beat, I jolt myself back to reality. I had awoken from this dream that I couldn’t understand but did not mind. I roll to my phone next to my bed. Nothing on the screen but one single message.

My mind drew a blank for a moment. Thats until my eyes had widened as far as they possibly could. My jaw dropped to the floor and I froze in disbelief. I jumped out of the bed with my phone gripped in my hand. I could not believe it. The girl in my dream was Ashley. But we can call her Ash. The girl I had been talking with for weeks on end. All along, I’ve been falling in love with the beautiful person and I didn’t even know.

Four and a half years later: I wake up to the annoying sound of an alarm. I reach blindly over to turn it off. I rub my eyes for a couple moments, then open them. Im looking up at a white ceiling. The room is cold, I am warm. I roll to my right side. I see the blanket is lifted as if there is someone under them. I slide closer to the risen blanket. I feel a warm, soft type of backside to Ash. I reach around the body, only to pull it closer. Brown hair comes closer to me, eventually resting in my face. The soft body is now touching my chest. And stomach. This feeling in the stomach arises from my stomach, but it keeps going up and up. It reaches my heart. My heart is happy, I am happy. Ash rolls over, exhaling slowly. We are now face to face. As her eyes slowly open, a smile slowly creeps to the surface of my face. My hand glides down her face. “ I Missed you” I say tiredly. “ she smiles back. I give her a kiss before turning to crawl out of bed. I sit at the edge of the bed, looking upon ash while she sleeps. At this moment of time I feel so many feelings. I feel lust, happiness and so much more. Ive never thought about something so deeply and so passionately. I never felt so strongly about my feelings for her, So protective, so happy for her, so… so proud. When I touch her skin, my heart feels happy. When our fingers interlock, I feel better. When I kiss her, my heart skips a beat. When I lay next to her I feel so… safe, so conformable. Memories run through my head. Long night time car rides, movie dates when we can’t let go of each others hands, Doing my running for the day with her in my passenger seat, long meaningful conversations, everything. The meaning of love hits me. I had finally figured it out. I found my person.

Love isn’t about getting what you want, nor just a word any people in a relationship say. Its not a word at all as a matter of fact. Its a feeling. A feeling that means you will do anything for that person. To do anything to make them smile, to make them feel okay. Anything to make them feel wanted.

When I say “ I Love you.” To Ash, it comes from the deepest place in my heart. The best, deepest place in my heart.

Love, is with Ash in this day in age.