thelonelyspaceboy - Tumblr blog

[thelonelyspaceboy]

🍏🧡🛀🛢🛰🪕🤾🦪 :)

Moodboard Requests:

Ship/Character:

🍏 tomarry

🍎 bellamione

🍇 hannigram

🫐 other (please specify)

Color:

❤️ red

🧡 orange

💛 yellow

💚 green

💙 blue

💜 purple

🖤 other (please specify)

Vibe:

Any emojis you feel fit :D

Example Request:

🍇💛☀️🌼 maybe some daffodils too?

[thelonelyspaceboy]

okay hear me out

idk how in-canon this is but i thought of it while i was supposed to be in class

it is just after the majority of the wizarding world comes to terms with the fact that he-who-must-not-be-named is back and posing a bigger threat than ever.

imagine rita skeeter, bored out of her mind with her job at the daily prophet and tired of writing conspiracy theories about harry potter.  she’s very eager to start fucking with someone new.

cue harry potter himself.  he’s so done with you-know-who screwing with his life and livelihood, so he decides something must be done, if only to make himself feel better.

so, he approaches rita skeeter and strikes a deal.  all he says is “do you wanna fuck with the dark lord?”

and so the epic voldemort slander campaign begins.

they just make stuff up.  they change his name every time they write, going from timothy to tucker, travis, tobias, and at one point, tanya.  they say he was raised by his great aunt margot who was blind as a bat and thought he was a girl, and they include a random picture of a sour looking dark-haired boy in a frilly pink dress.  they even go into explicit detail about his “torrid affair with a snake”.

(they also make it explicitly clear that he is a halfblood, something harry knew would make the dark lord positively irate)

everyone loses their shit.  the articles are an international sensation, with copies being distributed to different wizarding communities around the world.  the weasley twins, of course, make sure everyone in hogwarts has a copy of the articles, and they’re so successful rita considers writing her own book.

when voldemort sees it, he just stares.  he stares for a good long while.  his death eaters tremble as they stare at him, horrified for the explosion of rage they know is sure to follow.

he stares at his new name, which today reads “tremaine marvin riddle”.  he stares at the description of his hogwarts sweetheart, a lovely coral snake with a nasty temper.  and finally, he stares at the picture of the angry, chubby toddler in the monstrous pink gown and matching bonnet.

and then slowly, he whispers.

“how the fuck did they find it?”

[thelonelyspaceboy]

if you’re straight and attracted to me, no you’re not.

if you’re gay and attracted to me, no you’re not.

if you’re attracted to me, no.  you’re not.

and that’s on being nonbinary and ugly

[thelonelyspaceboy]

"dolphins are assholes"

---my little sister