thelonely

[thelonely]

I still think its the funniest shit ever that when I used to volunteer at planned parenthood every week even though I walked past mostly the same protesters every single time they were begging me not to get an abortion theres other options yadda yadda. Like meemaw you see me here every week. They call me abortions georg because I get another one every Monday at 8am

[thelonely]

due to an evil child's christmas wish there will be a colossal sandstorm that destroys the world this year instead of santa

[thelonely]

hate it when pets learn words, my dog flips out when he hears "greenie" so we had to start saying "G word" but now he knows G word so we have to say shit like "are we out of emerald indulgences"

[thelonely]

do you have any advice for someone smoking weed for the first time

yeah take a really big hit and then go jogging. think about people that probably hate you the whole time

[thelonely]

yes I bled all over your perfect white carpet but my blood is actually pretty awesome you should be excited to live with my awesome blood

[thelonely]

all right everyone let's hear it for ACETAMINOPHEN let's give it up for STORE-BRAND TYLENOL let me hear you make some NOISE

[thelonely]

vampire drinking cold bagged blood alone in their pitch-black apartment and crying

[thelonely]

This is your captain speaking and yeah we’re not landing. I just feel like we’ve got a really good thing up here and I don’t want to ruin it. This is my home and you are my people

[thelonely]

feels so wrong that itll be 2025 soon. fake year. science fiction year

[thelonely]

fundamentaly embarrassing to show reference pictures to the hairdresser. Like yeah. Hey. Here's a picture of a guy who looks cool. One day I would liketo look cool as well. Can you try to make me look cool. With these paltry ingredients Can you try your very best to alchemize a guy who looks cool right now. In 30 minutes, can you make me into a person. Hey, for twenty five dollars, can you fuck my shit up forever? Could you give me a haircut. Is that too much to ask. Could you cut my hairs

[thelonely]

figuring out how to get rid of screen addiction is like trying to figure out how to stop a nicotine addiction while also having a job centered around smoking cigarettes and having half your social life be in smoke breaks

[thelonely]

lying down for 50 minutes to imagine in real time the experience of walking to trader joes and buying a single pea and walking back home and getting out a cutting board and a knife and skinning and chopping one pea and sprinkling it into a tank with one fish in it

[thelonely]

Bruh this coffee I bought is so good I'm so fuckin alert rn I could probably do a math problem

[thelonely]

Hi I'm 1 years old and learning to read through your posts. Cigarette.

very good job using your words! will someone get this toddling bitch a smoke

[thelonely]

[thelonely]

Me reaching what looks suspiciously to be the end of my rope: oobh i got plany off rope

[thelonely]

"never trust how you feel abt ur life after 9pm" is a spring & summer & fall rule. for winter it's never trust how u feel abt ur life after 4pm