theladyofthelibrary

[theladyofthelibrary]

Going insane reading this wikipedia quote about the real life Cocaine Bear, which is taxidermied and kept in a mall in Kentucky (though it may actually be a different, unrelated, taxidermied bear)

According to the bear's owners, the Cocaine Bear has the authority to officiate legally binding weddings in the mall where it is kept due to Kentucky's marriage laws. This claim is only partly true; the bear does not have the authority to solemnize weddings, but the state of Kentucky cannot invalidate marriages performed by unqualified persons if the parties believe that the person marrying them has the authority to do so. As such, it is a belief in the Cocaine Bear's authority that allows it to officiate legally binding weddings in Kentucky.

You have to BELIEVE in the power of your Cocaine Bear Marriage for it to take effect. Fucking magical.

[theladyofthelibrary]

the jocks in Pacific rim: to neural bond with someone… you need to be drift compatible… you need to trust them completely… you need to be emotionally healthy.. it can be absolutely traumatising if anything goes wrong..

the nerds, mindmelding with dead alien monsters: fuckin cowards

[theladyofthelibrary]

[theladyofthelibrary]

matching icons for you & your crew ⚔️

[theladyofthelibrary]

Realised we don't have an all inclusive "be gay do crime" or "be trans throw hands" so I suggest "be queer strike fear"

[theladyofthelibrary]

I've been saying this for years 😭

[theladyofthelibrary]

[theladyofthelibrary]

[theladyofthelibrary]

the fight is harder each year.

[theladyofthelibrary]

Day 286 of quarantine I have discovered www.webstaurantstore.com

It is, I BELIEVE, a website intended to be used by restaurants for bulk ordering food and utensils. And this is bringing me such unbounded delight scrolling through and recognizing that I, a single individual, ALSO can order ridiculous obscene enormous offensive-to-all-common-sensibilities shipments of BULK FOOD, to my LITTLE LITTLE APARTMENT, for PENNIES on the dollar. I have this god given power to flood my entire living space with bulk grains and it is one single button click away from my reality.

30 POUNDS of chocolate for $100. 20 POUNDS of peas for $13?? $13!!!! I will wake up every single morning from now on knowing that a box of donuts and a sack of dried split peas heavy enough to bodily injure someone both carry equal monetary weight. 25 POUNDS OF ONION POWDER for $50. Do you understand the enormity? the accessibility? the potential here? With the single click of the button I can put myself in a position of bequeathing more than a humanly comprehensible amount of onion powder in my will. AND IT WOULD ONLY COST ME $50 TO MAKE THIS A REALITY.

But what gets me

What truly gets me

is the 50 POUND BAG OF RICE 

FOR LESS THAN $20

Do you know how much that kills me? How much I’m losing my mind? that I can order MYSELF WORTH OF RICE for something to the tune of $50? I can OUT-RANK MYSELF WITH RICE, DEMOCRATICALLY OVERRULE MYSELF WITH RICE, IN MY OWN APARTMENT for the fucking PENNIES that is $50

I’m so sorry for the normal person I’ll be after quarantine because the cabin-fever version of me I’m inhabiting right now is perhaps just uninhibited enough to follow through on this dream I’ve just discovered of out-ricing myself.

[theladyofthelibrary]

shout out to all the people who identify with gifted kid burnout syndrome who are probably just neurodivergent but werent diagnosed as a child, who used to devour books like it was nothing and never really understood why the protagonist would leave their cool fantasy world behind to go back home at the end of the story, and who are now extremely disappointed in reality and use escapism as their primary coping mechanism. how’s that bisexuality and deep-rooted anger at the school system going for you?

[theladyofthelibrary]

[theladyofthelibrary]

What did you do this year? #EthicalMemes

[theladyofthelibrary]

[theladyofthelibrary]

So, short recap of this hell of a week

- starting with the US elections being the most dramatic ones ever

- Trump declares himself winner literal days before we get an official result

- The whole world's waiting for friggin Nevada to count their votes

- Trump wants to stop counting the votes, but at the same time not. He's confused, wants to involve the supreme court. Unclear why.

- with everyone's eyes still glued to Nevada, the CW airs a new episode of Supernatural, casually kicking the entirety of tumblr back into the year 2013

- Destiel becomes canon after 11 seasons / 12 years

- Castiel "dies" and somehow the internet turns it into a mainstream meme

- For about 12 hours everyone is convinced that Canon Destiel caused russian dictator Vladimir Putin to step down

- While all of us are busy freaking out about Destiel, Georgia turns blue, and we all find out via Destiel memes

- We're still waiting for Nevada

- Pennsylvania turns blue as well, and we find out via Destiel memes AGAIN

- Destiel-Antis are getting mad and Destiel-Fans are having an absolute blast after a single-word tweet. "COPE"

- Superwholock is crawling out of its grave and people bring back tumblr code and dashcon

- rumours about Sherlock season 5 to make the Superwholock chaos perfect

- Putin is NOT stepping down but that doesn't stop the memes

- Destiel is trending on Twitter ON TOP OF THE ELECTION, and it's trending in combination with Putin.

- still waiting for Nevada

- Trump declares himself winner again and gets mad at twitter for marking his tweets as incorrect

- Trump still tries to stop the ballot counting with wild accusations of cheating. Also, he really really hates the mail-in ballots.

- we still freak out over Destiel and find out that Dan and Phil dating is confirmed. Suddenly we're all 13 again.

- Trumps son tweets about starting a war

- while the whole world is STILL waiting for Nevada, Trump goes golfing, but not without declaring himself winner once more. Winner "BY A LOT".

- nothing from Nevada

- Trumps team send emails to people asking them for more money

- Biden wins Pennsylvania, now having enought electoral votes to win the presidency, fireworks all around the globe

- about 0.2 seconds after Pennsylvania has made Biden president, Nevada finishes counting.

- Joe Biden becomes the 46th President of the United States and a big bunch of people find out via destiel memes

- Trump lost the election. BY A LOT.

- "JOE IS BIDEN"

- we declare Biden the Destiel president

- Trump does not accept the election results. What a surprise.

- Trump is still golfing but his giant team of lawyers have dug up a bunch of people who claim to have witnessed cheating in the ballot counting

- Trumps lawyer team holds a press conference about their plans to fight against the cheating, leaving everyone confused about 1) their non-existent proof and 2) the very weird venue this conference was held at

- "stop the steal"

- we learn that Trump's press conference was held in the parking lot of Four Seasons Landscaping, not the luxury hotel Four Seasons.

- we also learn that Four Seasons Landscaping is located in-between a crematorium and a sex-toy shop

- Biden makes a speech and Trump finally stops golfing. Trump's fans are very mad at the democracy for being a democracy. They also hate socialism without even knowing what it means.

[theladyofthelibrary]

looks stupit I want ten

[theladyofthelibrary]

having a tumblr blog with more than 500 followers deserves to be in the dsm-6