thekingofithica

[thekingofithica]

we low on food but ima keep it on the down low dont let the crew get worried

[thekingofithica]

still looting troy rn

did you know hector has

absolutely nothing interesting.

what a boring man

[thekingofithica]

HERMES KEEPS LEAVING

[thekingofithica]

Diomedes: ody stop talking about your wife so much or so help me I will pray to Athena to strike your ass down!

Diomedes go round up the troops, see if anyone died.

quick go

[thekingofithica]

hows the war odyssus

shit.

[thekingofithica]

ody are you okay

have you ever dropped soup

and it splatters all over the floor.

[thekingofithica]

no, hermes, we arent talking about it.

godsdammit

a baby, hermes.

i didnt know how to kill it.

i just.

[thekingofithica]

Bro how are you even writing messages to give Hermes in the middle of burning down troy

just taking little pauses

yk

kill a dude talk to h

he just got hit with a vision from Zeus. -Hermes

[thekingofithica]

how is Athena doing??

guiding me

brb gotta chase this guy

[thekingofithica]

Whose job is it to feed the horse?

the horse is wooden

...

it's polites though

[thekingofithica]

HI HERE TO EXPLAIN QPR

BASICALLY

It’s a “committed intimate relationship that isn’t romantic in nature”

YEAH 🫶

.

i am in a very good friendship with Polites

[thekingofithica]

in the horse straight up slayin it, and by it i mean the trojans

[thekingofithica]

Hahaha CRAZY hypothetical but what if, say, you couldn’t return home for another 10 years or so after the war? 😅

best not to think about

its almost nightfall actually

horse secret plan

[thekingofithica]

are you and polites anything... more than besties? no judgement at all Captain, you just seem a lil bit fruity

-- one of the soldiers

oh damn hermes givin yall a voice too

sweet

but no hes my best friend

also i just ate an orange

[thekingofithica]

it hot asf in here did i mention that yet

[thekingofithica]

And so, this strategy shall forever be remembered as the Trojan Rabbit!

wait what do you mean it’s a horse

its only a horse bc tbat one guy

i was gonna make a wooden penelope but nooooo

[thekingofithica]

brb attacking troy xD