thekillerstudio

[thekillerstudio]

Im Writing a novel

[thekillerstudio]

desperately want to be brian quinn’s controversially young girlfriend

[thekillerstudio]

Him

Him. God I hate him.. Not really… actually hate is a strong word that shouldn’t be used when you don't actually hate the person. I dislike him, but am mostly disappointed. He won't apologize for his action and that broke our friendship and I’m not mad at him anymore. I just want to tell him why I was upset and why I shouldn't be the one breaking the silence. 

[thekillerstudio]

See It Through

I hate myself. That point blank because everything I do seems that I’m doing life wrong in every way. I’m not being a doctor that my parents want me to be. I’m not being that sister that I want to be. Not being that person that I want me to be. God I do hate what I’m doing. No pocket of joy and everything that I had now is gone. All I can think about is the joys I had in life that had such an impact on me. 

The couple of joys that I did have are:

When I would drive around with my sister with Starbucks in our hands and sing in the car singing that latest song. I remember seeing the laughter on my sister's face that makes me smile now thinking about it. I had a couple of those moments and those really makes me feel alive and joy that life isn't all that bad. I love my sisters. I really do to the point I'll do anything for them. I don't care how much money I have or how badly I would get hurt just to protect them; I'll do anything for them.

Working with my mom is the best thing to happen to me. I know some people would hate that, but I don't. I love working with my mom. I can think about all the laughs that we had and all the deep conversations we had during lunch or after work that taught me life lessons. I would forever appreciate that warmth my mother gives me. At the moment I can't think of anything bad that my mother has done even though she has, but I can't think about one right now. My father I can think about special moments together bonding over movies and when he took me to school up to dropping me off to college. My father has done things wrong that makes me distant with him at certain moments, but I appreciate him very much. I love my parents. 

My best friend that I met my college freshman year. We got close when we went to a concert. We had a lot of laughs and still do at this moment. There isn't a lot since we have only been friends for a year. I can't wait for many more. 

Him. It's Him that really bought me different emotions. Some were happy, anxious, sad and most of all excited. He really changed me to the person I am at the current moment. He did things that I can not express that truly touch my soul. Even now that we don't talk or see each other, we truly care for one another. Even with our fights that really got me reconsidering about our “friendship”, we talk through them and even think about what is wrong with us “being together.” I care for him that he doesn't know that it really hurts me inside now that he has a girlfriend. I think I see us never talking again and almost forgetting one another. I’m thinking about it now and it brings me such sorrow. 

Now writing these down. I have my ups and downs. My joys and sorrows. I think life is funny in a way that I’m living a film. I don't know which film yet, but it's a film. I see that life can be cruel and it can also be exciting. I want to see the joys in my life. I want to capture it and forever cherish it.

[thekillerstudio]

RICK FLAG AND POLKA DOT MAN DESERVED BETTER

[thekillerstudio]

just saw suicide squad and it's official: i'm in love with polka dot man