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theivanteru · 4 years

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My two cents on the whole AOA situation.

This is going to be long, I’m sorry.

I’ve seen lots of people sharing their thoughts and opinions on this matter so I thought I would do the same...I think I actually needed to do this.

I, for the time being, cannot listen to their songs, I don’t want to...and yeah it kind of hurts, I know I’ll be able to later and i think I will still like the songs because they are good.

I was so interested in AOA even before their debut, I saw all the teasers, and I’ve kept track of them as a fan since then, they even were my favourite group for a while.

Learning that this whole situation began ten years ago was heartbreaking because it was even when they were trainees and nobody knew them, they still chose to debut like that (all of them). It really shows how the mindset of any person who wishes to debut can be, and gives a new light into how devious and dark the kpop world can, sometimes, be.

In any situation, bullying is horrible and we should not stand by it. But us regular people have it easier. That’s why I think that taking care of yourself and your dreams or goals by not participating is valid and, specially in the kpop industry, is probably more common that we think. Even outside, I cannot judge people who don’t intervene or defend other because, while I’ve had the chance to help others being bullied and even stopped it, I’ve also lived situations where helping was not an option and even where I chose not to. I think it’s part of society and human nature to have this duality and it’s even more intelligent to think how can you help the victim, instead of attacking the bully.

On the other side,bullying (in early stages) takes two roles (bully and victim) Most people get to choose who they are and wether they are going to let it happen or not, whatever you choose, you should accept the consequences.

I’ve been picked on (never physically fortunately) for different resons since my childhood, sometimes I defended myself, sometimes I didn’t, sometimes I chose to ignore and sometimes I chose to respond. Some memories hurt still, but I’m ok, I was back then and now I can see how processing them made me stronger now. That is not the case for lots of people.

That being said, and sorry for rambling, I’m really glad Mina spoke about it, she needed to release it, I do believe everything she said and I actually find it not surprising 8which is even more heartbreaking). However I definitely don’t think it was the right, clean way to do or even healthy for her.

I think this bullying situation should be solved between Mina, Jimin and the real professional authorities (doctors, lawyers, police) even mabye the company since they let the situation happen (which is sad how not surpising it is). If Jimin bullied anybody else, then it’s a problem between them specifically.

Just a few days back she posted a picture of her wound, made believe that it had just happened and then cleared out that it was from months back, was it necessary? To me, that post and what she said in it didn’t help her situation, not did it affect Jimin anymore...Honestly I don’t blame her for doing that but then again, to some, she ends up looking unstable and chaotic, and with the experiences she lived she probably is.

As for us (the fans) and regular people and netizens and whoever followed her shouldn’t have a say in the matter, we weren’t there and we’ll never be...we really don’t know. I honestly think we should limit ourselves to support Mina or whoever you want to support or believe without involving the other parties and doing justice for them, we’re not saviors nor we should try to be. We are fans, our job, if we even have one, is to support and thats all.

Something that really makes me mad is that I’ve seen videos incriminating others and clickbaiting to sound dramating...I know that’s how it works and thats why I hate it, it really makes us biased and suddenly we’ve lost the ability to think and reason, we’ve become sheep to a title,a perspective and even more so the person that wrote it.

There’s a reality but the perspective depends on the person who is living it, they are ALL VALID so...

As for Jimin...I’m glad she left, it was the healthiest option for her. I don’t see her promoting ever again and maybe it’s for the best, an example for others to think better before bullying.

I just cant empathize with bullying in general, but even more so with someone who shares your goals, dreams, and is even an important part of the team that was given to you in order to achieve success. I don’t understand what made her do something like that, specially as the leader of the group and a person who is talented, why waste all of yourself on something that is so obviously wrong.

I still don’t think she is a monster who needs to be vanished from existence though so I hope she reflects a lot, gets the treatment she needs, pays her due and comes out a better person, for her and the people that will surround her in the future.

As for the other members... IMO they are not the same or worse that a bully.

They made decisions that now have consequences but I don’t think badly of any of them, I hope they continue to be great, grow up as a person, can be happy and succeed in whatever they choose to do from now on. I completely disagree when people say that they are worse for not helping...we don’t get to choose how someone should have acted, we don’r know how the other members lived the situation.

Mina. I hope she feels liberated and better, I’m gald she is now receiving treatment and I hope she never has to experience something like that again and maybe uses her experience to help others and become a better person herself. I believe her, but no more than limit myself to believe that that is how SHE lived and felt it, it’s her truth and it’s valid. I hope she gains strength to defend herself better in any situation needed and get the happy life she deserves.

I’m now glad Choa and Youkyoung left when they did, let’s remember they knew about this cause of the time frame, but they left. If they were bullied, just unconfortable, had their dreams change, tired, left out, wanted to or they chose to leave as we “officially know” thats what they chose and it was the best option for them, I applaud them and hope they are happier and successful now. IMO, to end bullying sometimes it’s better to remove yourself from the situation before trying to change the bully. Maybe unfair, yes; but I think it’s healthier, brave, strong and maybe even mature as (I believe), you get to take the bully’s streght from them while you can get better and use it to do something else, or the same somewhere else.

Mina said that Seolhyun never once joined Jimin in the bullying, she didn't stop her and was a bystander for that, while still (generally) wrong I think she chose that to be safe, and in that industry I can't blame her for that. I actually think it’s possible that Seolhyun chose to be Jimin’s friend to avoid that scenario with her, or maybe she saw another side of her, she knows her truth and will grow from this scenario. I wish only good thing for her too.

As for Chanmi, she’s always been my favourite. Mina said that she did nothing even when she herself was being scolded cause she's/ was too young and she’s also believed to have been bullied as well, I believe this as well and it was her defense mechanisim, not only Jimin but probably the managers, antis and company staff. She worked hard and will definetly grow from this, I hope she succeeds and gets to be happy and safe.

Yuna is, not surprisingly either, probably the member who is been talked about the least, Mina said she cherised her well but was to afraid to act which makes sense. I don’t see Yuna as a problematic person and I hope she succeeds, gains strength and confidence to become better, as well as the others.

Lastly, it was said by Mina that only Hyejeong said something to Jimin sometimes and that all the others were either too afraid or not participating at all. I really admire Hyejeong for that and hope she continues being strong and making her dreams and goals come true.

Them I like, I still do. I know I say not to judge but I can’t dislike them not even blame them. With that little information I have on the matter and the context of behind the scenes of kpop I’ve learned, I understand why everyone acted the way they did.

The real truth, only the girls know (each their own) and it should be something they (all of them) sort out with professionals, individually and between themselves.

I wish they were taken care of better, that they were treated better so that this never had to happen. This I blame on the peson that chose and for some reason needed to bully her members but MORE IMPORTANTLY I blame it on the companies who treat their trainees and artists badly or just see the money they can get. They forget (and sometimes we followers do too) that they are people, humans chasing their dreams and sacrificing a lot to do it, even their lifes.

The kpop world is awesome sometimes but it can really suck and be so toxic.

Thinking about this, most groups, probably, have cases like this, I think real friendships in groups are rare TBH and thats fine, they are a team, coleagues and that´s all that matters...If they happen to become friends all the better, but thats not necessary to me anymore.

Today I choose to believe that for every group I follow. And really, I choose to just limit myself to support and enjoy their personas (as in who they are on screen) from afar. What happens behind is only theirs to bare.

If you read this, thanks...I just needed to get this out of my chest to let it go. If you agree, I’m glad and if you don’t thats fine too.