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northern hemisphere babes we made it to the longest night of the year. we made it. for the next 6 months, every day will give us a little more daylight than the last. let's go. take my hand. climb out of the darkness with me

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parent cats are crazy because they have the protectiveness of a parent but at the end of the day theyre still just cats

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I'm kind of obsessed with how Patrick Stewart is Not gay. He's literally straight he just acts like that. Ian McKellen is gay so it's easy to think logically that so is Patrick Stewart but he's not. Unparalleled. Don't call yourself an ally unless you kiss your gay friends on the mouth

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source

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So turns out im gay thank you for the yaoi 🙏🙏🙏

CONGRATS ON THE HOMOSEXUALITY BROTHER

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I’m visiting my friend right now in her 18th century home she’s restoring where the lights don’t work in one part of the house, creeping to the bathroom like some sort of haunt, feeling for the walls with rising dread, utterly lost in the perfect darkness, like Jonathan Harker in Dracula’s castle, if Jonathan Harker were the sort of person to trip and stand there cringing in the night as his can of trader joe’s sparkling rhubarb-strawberry juice bangs all the way down the oaken staircase, one step at a time, the cacophony of a freight train, and then proceed to practically crawl through the remaining dark to the bathroom for a washcloth, to wipe up the trader joe’s sparkling rhubarb-strawberry juice before it can soak into the wood floor, with the fevered terror of lady macbeth hallucinating blood on her hands

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there’s a post on tumblr about like. if you could do something to bring people a little relief, why wouldn’t you do it? which has unironically informed my practice as a nursing student and patient care tech

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Is there something deeply evil living within me or am I just up past my bedtime

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nothinggg better than torturing an emotionally repressed character until every single trauma they've ever refused to process starts spilling uncontrollably out of the cracks. like a matryoshka doll situation of repressed trauma and baby you better believe i'm going in there with a hammer

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New Jerseyans know

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Tumblr is unique bc like. It's collaborative shitposting and you can't opt in or out. You can just say something about your day then an evil wizard shows up to turn your post into something humorous

Every other site is just one and done, but here a post is a welcome mat to be funnier than you

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my autopsy results came back negative There was nothing in there

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How are my sweetie pees

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Don't be silly – it's only a cycle of violence if it's sustainable. This is a spiral of violence.

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gods greatest punishment was putting 1 trillion cool rocks on earth and no one with eyes big enough to see them all