thegreenorb22
Unbetitelt
1 post
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
thegreenorb22 · 3 years ago
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“I am done with Dragon Age fandom.”
I think many have spoken this sentence before me and then either returned or disappeared completely from the internet. One thing is clear - this fandom is toxic but for a completely different reason, which I will explain here in more detail.
I myself have been active in fandom for over seven years and follow the events on tumblr, reddit, twitter and even facebook. I've seen it all - from drama in the art scene to disagreements that turned into a real hunt. From people who already had to take legal action or those who were close to suicide because of the constant stalking and harassment. That this fandom partly has a cultist aftertaste, I don't think I need to mention. But why am I writing this post here you ask? Because no one, really no one WANTS to go into the actual problem, although it MUST be done. And yes, I have given myself an unknown account, which of course has led to doubts about the credibility, but I myself was both a victim and a perpetrator of bullying and I do not want to open old wounds here, which have been more or less healed for years.
But now to the problem, which I have already mentioned several times. Again and again I get to see how some people here represent themselves and make fun of others. This can have many different reasons. There are three groups: The victims, the perpetrators and the followers. In my eyes, it is neither victims nor perpetrators who are the real problem here - it is the bandwagoners. I have talked to many of those affected - both victims and perpetrators - and have thus been able to form my own opinion.
Two people are in a dispute which is carried out in public. Both go their separate ways and what remains? Exactly, the bandwagoners - Those who drag this conflict along with them for years and tell things of which not even half is true. Exactly these people only take in the drama but not what happened afterwards. Because that's exactly what they're not interested in, they have to stir up the fandom and that's only possible through targeted ignorance. I myself was once such a follower and detest myself for it. In the last few years i've told a lot of crap about strangers online, things i thought i had a scintilla of knowledge about until i was proven wrong. I spoke to an alleged perpetrator years after a callout that was made over four years ago and understood - yes, people can change if they want to, so why continue to live in the past?
Have you ever thought that the gossip only ensures that both parties can't move on? Of course you don't have to give anyone a second chance, but why are so many stuck in the past? No, it's not okay to make racist, homo- and transphobic offensive remarks. No, it's not okay to whitewash and steal the works of others. No, it's not okay to manipulate others to get a better reputation or organize a smear campaign to lead people to near suicide. But these people can hardly change if you keep picking on them. One year, two years or even seven - what's the point? that leads nowhere. In my eyes, even the perpetrators are victims.
You can say what you want, but i don't want to be here anymore. Every human being has the right to change themselves. And i see that in a few people; I see that they do their best to not be a scapegoat of dramas, to stay away from such follower circles. There are people in fandom who visibly repent and ask for forgiveness - Unfortunately, there are also people who continue with what is hurting many people and it doesn't stop. In the end, only the closest people involved know what is going on, it is not our privilege to pass on problems to strangers where we were not even present.
"I heard this person did this and that four years ago, don't follow them."
And now? In four years, people can change - They can be so self-reflective and work on themselves so that such behavior doesn't happen again. In my eyes, those who live so far back in the past should be ashamed of themselves because you see yourselves as innocent and so perfect and yet you hide behind those and feast on their suffering. The main thing is enough gossip and entertainment at the expense of others. And that for years; shame on you, all of you.
This constant bullying has to stop, no matter if it is because of a different opinion or because someone made a mistake. We are all adults here and should know best that it is easier and more peaceful to tolerate the opinion of others than the exact opposite. Someone thinks Loghain is great and you don't? Another romanced Anders although he is an antagonist in the eyes of many? Yes so what?
It doesn't matter, it's their opinion, not yours.
To the victims and then perpetrators: Summon up your courage and talk about what happened to you, settle your problems once and for all. Don't make the mistake of discussing it in public - talk about it in private, reconcile. You don't have to be friends afterwards, you can continue to avoid each other. But it's about the principle - don't give the followers anything to eat. Close your chapters, don't talk about it, don't talk about the other person. You'll notice that you and the other person have become more mature, that you've learned from the past and are ready to leave the old you behind.
And to the followers: Don't interfere. very simple. Don't interfere in other people's affairs.
Unfortunately, even after my appeal, this fandom will be pure dirt because most of you won't care. You will go on like this and live in your little fantasy world, where you amuse yourselves that other people still have to suffer years later and actually only want to talk about a common game.
I think the best thing for the whole fandom would be a total reset, many wish for that, but it is an impossibility.
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