theglockwizard

[theglockwizard]

statement lady who decided to murder her husband after two (02) days in a time loop she's the real one

[theglockwizard]

it seems that you mayhaps owe me a colrich fanart /lh

APOLOGIES FOR THE DELAY!!!! BUT I HAVE ARRIVED TO DELIVER!!

[theglockwizard]

sex pollen is an integral part of the fanfiction ecosystem but i just don't think poison ivy would make anything that encourages procreation of even more humans. unless she figures out how to make the sex pollen same-sex specific or fertility-negating she's not making it at all. #philosophical

[theglockwizard]

[theglockwizard]

Art historians have debated what they call a "mysterious expression" on the girl in Manet's "Bar at the Folies-Bergere" (1882) but I'm pretty sure it's just Customer Service Face

[theglockwizard]

Ozai is so pathetic, like that “take his bending away haha he’s harmless now” trick would never have worked on Zuko, if you took his bending away he’d just grab his swords and come at you twice as hard, Azula doesn’t have swords or anything but she’s pretty good at hand to hand and amazing at talking her way out of problems, Iroh bust himself out of prison with no bending at all, meanwhile Ozai? Gets his bending taken away and then just collapses, doesn’t even try anymore, then just sits in prison and tries to get into Zuko’s head some more, he could have trained up and tried to break out too! But no! Bet he can’t break steel bars with his bare hands. Bet he can’t kick a steel lever in two. Bet he can’t even do a flip.

Also we never really see him do any really impressive firebending apart from when he has magic comet power, I guesss he shoots some lightning at Zuko, but that’s it and Azula is still better at the lightning thing. Azula has blue flames. Zuko can do firebreakdancing and bend with his swords. Does Ozai, who is not 14 years old, have blue flames? No he doesn’t.

He didn’t even do his coup himself, Ursa had to kill Azulon for him! Could have just challenged Iroh to an Agni Kai for the throne but he didn’t bc he knew he’d lose.

And then he only ruled for like 6 years! He lost a war that had been going on for 100 years bc of a bunch of kids.

Loserlord indeed

[theglockwizard]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[theglockwizard]

Yesterday a kid said to me "excuse me? Your hair looks like beautiful anime hair" which is already amazing and then she said "watch me on your camera when I go down the slide I'm going to do the Peter Griffin death pose when I come out" and she sure did.

[theglockwizard]

genuinely so obsessed with this twitter post

[theglockwizard]

the morbius jokes got stale fast but sony misunderstanding them and rereleasing the movie only to cause it to lose even more money was an all timer moment. we couldnt recreate that situation if we tried

[theglockwizard]

[theglockwizard]

doctors: x-rays are perfectly safe, there's no need to worry about them

doctors as soon as they turn on the x-ray machine:

[theglockwizard]

any printer born after 2007 can't print... all they know is bluetooth , hide they usb port, tray feed error, be out of magenta , eat paper & tell HP my social security number

[theglockwizard]

ppl are rlly trying to defend being on your phone during a movie in the theater what is going on

[theglockwizard]

things you DO NOT need to be a man

a dick

he/him pronouns

XY chromosomes

things you DO need to be a man

the swiftness of a coursing river

the force of a great typhoon

the strength of a raging fire

the mysteriousness of the dark side of the moon

^this post was brought to you by LGBT^

Let's

Get down to

Business

To defeat the huns

[theglockwizard]

[theglockwizard]