theempatheticshrub

[theempatheticshrub]

On migraines and anticipatory excite-iety. Anxitement? You get it.

Hi hi hi! So as I write this (fool that I am), half alive with a migraine, half googling up this one obscure toy (for those who care: cabbage. patch. PONY. Specificalllly the green sparkling one with pink hair), I find myself a) swimming through a sea of sweet anticipation and b) swimming through a sea of psych, pain, and whatever you’d classify gravol as-meds. Yes friends, your gal is literally looking at a screen half high. But not on drugs. Well, yes drugs. Just not “recreational” ones. Ew, why does my saying that make me sound like a school guidance counselor? (No offense, counselors of guidance everywhere).

SO WHAT AM I ANTICIPATING, YOU ASK? Visiting what remains of a once sprawling flea market that used to be my hometown’s claim to fame. It may only now be limited to several vendors packed into a warehouse building thing (they have cats! It smells like old!) , but you and I both know they’ll likely have the goods. And by goods I mean overpriced, forgotten toys and trinkets only I would want (to like, keep. Not re-sell). Beanie BABIES, anyone?

…I think it’s time I depart on this groovy gravol ride, lest I regret my ramblings come tomorrow. Fingers crossed this migraine evaporates soom!

Regards,

The Empathetic Shrub

[theempatheticshrub]

On Nostalgia (…Part 2)

SO, BIG NEWS: At some point in my otherwise apathetic existence today, it dawned on me. Toys! (No, not those toys, gutter brain). Yes friends, I realized what I likely already knew but had somehow buried deep within the vast, anxious realms of my brain: I love toys! Especially retro ones from my past and beyond. Those of you who knew me in grade 5 would remember fondly the speech I gave on the subject of toys. While somehow losing to a (imo) far less captivating speech on “dreams” (of course, eye.roll.), I took my early enthusiasm for the world of play things to the speech finals that year. Would it be enough for the win? Nay, but the world of all things fun (accessories not included) had indeed won my heart.

This got me thinking: if I had the means (newsflash: I don’t) , what toy collection would I hold prize? Where would I keep said collection(s)? “It would have to be in a temp controlled environment,” my partner earlier suggested. So, let’s pretend I remember more than a smidge of tips and tricks I learned in my uni art restoration course and actually have knowledge re: keeping up a collection of (often valuable) items. Sounds boring , right? And since we’re both discussing *and* living in the world of pretend, let’s say I have a museum where anyone from anywhere could come and poke at and play with array of toys I’d have on (interactive!) display. Maybe I could repurpose one of them az-ah-mon warehouses into a world of fun where workers are assets and not objects and they would make a living wage whilst enjoying making people (and themselves!) happy, especially knowing they can use the restroom when they need to! But I digress.

Maybe I could settle for a den with a retro “aesthetic”. I feel like this word is really popular with the current kid crowds, though. We want vintage. I could say “vibe”, but that might just inspire you gutter brains out there (again). I’ll figure some term out. If Barbie can have a dream house, I can have my dream…room? Shelf? I’d settle for a shelf for now. Anyway, time to hop on FB marketplace and/or eBay and search up Bucky O’Hare action figures. I still remember being in kindergarten, my neighbor friend pitting O’Hare in battle against my (er, actually, his older sister’s) army of 80’s care bear figures. Needless to say, the power of caring won more times than not, friends. And on that note:

Regards,

The Empathetic Shrub

[theempatheticshrub]

On Struggling

In other news, things have admittedly been…challenging as of late. Heck, for most of my adult years, but for the subject of this post, as of late. I pinky promise this is not a “woe is me” and/or pity parade post. It is, rather, a sort of “juice cleanse” (you know, the ones you get ads about on social media) of all the pent up toxins in my body at present. Or something like that. (Disclaimer: I do not endorse juice cleanses of any kind, but terrible metaphors are always game). Where was I going with this? Right.

I present to you, in grocery list form, what struggling looks like for me right now. Again, I don’t share this info to garner pity, but maybe (just maybe) to connect with others on the big ole interwebs so they might feel less alone when/if they too find themselves fighting the good fight vs. life.

Unwashed hair/too much dirty laundry/guilt, and LOTS of it/piles upon piles of unread self help books/an overwhelming medication regimen/taking multiple naps a day/attempting to get creative, only for it to result in a phallic doodling of a cactus/ lack of motivation/ feelings of inferiority/lack of routine and structure/believed* lack of purpose (*a lot of this list includes things I may “believe”. Working on focussing on beautiful realities)./restlessness/exhaustion/and finally, remaining HOPEFUL.

That’s right, kids. Where there’s struggle, there is always hope. [Insert corny quote about darkness and light here]. In all seriousness, though: may you be able to feel safe enough to be vulnerable. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little afraid to share this post. But on the off chance someone sees this and says “I feel that”, or even just quietly chooses to hang on to the hope knowing they’re not alone inspires, I think, nay, I know, makes it worth it.

Regards,

The Empathetic Shrub

[theempatheticshrub]

On Nostalgia

So, the Oxford dictionary of English defines ‘nostalgia’ to be “a sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past”. Can’t say I disagree with this more positive take on the term. Too often (imo) do I hear about the act of being nostalgic to be a negative thing, something only old people day dreaming of “working on mysteries without a clue” while being “…barely seventeen” and “barely dressed” (thanks to Mr. Seger and Mr. Loaf for those respective references) do. An ex partner of mine certainly thought being nostalgic a “sad” thing. And I suppose I was almost inclined to agree. After all, remember Jack and Diane? We have Mr. Mellencamp to thank for instilling in us a sort of dark anxiety about getting too caught up in the past.

To those nostalgia-is-negative Nancy’s, I say, lighten up! Surely there’s nothing wrong with praising the past. Well, maybe not “praising”—though, couldn’t one argue many religions to be nostalgic for a person or place of another time? (I’m looking at you, JC). Anyway, I didn’t start writing to get all controversial or biblical or political or whatever. Honestly, I just like old stuff. Novelties that are still novel. Much like Madonna, I tend towards being a “material girl”. Am I ashamed of this? Eh, maybe I don’t like the “materialistic” label. But 1980’s Care Bear figurines? Radical.

Was it not some great philosopher that talked about the past and…eh. I guess it’s been awhile since I was in skewl. And honestly, I’d rather just quote song lyrics, anyway: “I’m here for a good time, not a long time”. If you’ve read this far, hey. Thanks. Stay tuned for further garbledee-goop on everything from the aforementioned 1980’s Care Bear figurines (they were poseable!) to why shrubs are indeed empathetic.

Regards,

The Empathetic Shrub