thediaryofnat-blog

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A Lovely Drunk Entry

It is currently 2:35am and I just got home from a frat party. The theme was PJ’s so it was a very comfy party lol. Wanna hear what I did (which i really shouldn't have dine but u did because i make bad decisions without thinking of the precautions). I SNAPPED DUNC a pic of me and a friend. even though we agreed just friends with benefits NO FEELINGS... but its like how do I agree to this when i never got over him in the first place ya knaow. I just want to tell him how I actually feel but I know hed say that he doesnt want anything more than friends with benifits. If you could give me some advice that would be greatly appreciated, How di I tell Duncan Mclean that. I still like him 

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I found this pic of Dunc and I in his basement when we first started hanging out. I never thought that four years after this picture I would miss it so much. 

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How I Met The Ex I Hooked up with for 4 Years After Our Break Up...

Yup, you did read that right. I am still currently hooking up with an ex I broke up with back in 2015. It’s sad, yeah I know. It’s depressing, yup I got that. It’s a little funny too, at least I think so. If you ask my mom (or really anyone in my family), they think it’s pretty pathetic. But we, we think it just works for us. I know, I know, that seems so fucked up, but after this story is over, I hope you too will understand why this “relationship” works for both us.

June 2015:

This is where the story of Dunc and I started. We knew each other as acquaintances through school, but we had never actually had a conversation prior to this (at least not a sober conversation that I can remember). My best friend, Baylee, and Dunc’s best friend, Connor, were starting to talk to each other, so like the good best friend I used to be, I went to one of Connor’s football games with her. We put on some cute new outfits, drove an hour away to a city we’d never heard of, sat in the stands for three hours cheering for number 26, then after the game went down to say hi. As we saw number 26 running towards us, except he ran directly past us, and we quickly realized that Connor, in fact, wasn’t number 26, but 26 was a different hot boy. Seconds later, Connor came running up to us and gave Baylee a huge hug, said hi to me, then went to the change room, and we soon left. Later that night, Baylee was snap chatting Connor and he mentioned that he had a friend who was single who might be interested in me. So Connor gave me his information and I hit him up, only to find out that Connor’s friend was number 26 on his football team. So we talked for a few weeks, got to know each other, then Dunc finally got the courage to asked if I wanted to get coffee sometime. Of course, I said yes, and we tried to schedule something, except we were both nervous and shy and NERVOUS! So a couple days go by and Baylee brings up that she wants to take Connor to an abandoned house that we call “the dead pig house” (because someone kills pigs and leaves them in front of this house), and asked if Dunc and I wanted to go too, and clearly, we did. So the day finally comes where we’re all supposed to hang out; Baylee and I get dressed up looking cute and shit, we drive to go pick up the boys, and we head to the abandoned house. We got there 20 minutes later and piled out of the car (our friends Kalli and Evan came too because we were trying to get them together but that didn’t happen (and weirdly enough, Evan dated Baylee a couple months after this but that's a different story)). We started walking through this creepy field that led to the house, then went into the house and looked around for 10 minutes or so. Eventually, Dunc and I got the nerve to go look upstairs. When we were up there, we saw this ladder that led to an attic. I stepped on the ladder pretending to threaten that I would go up to the attic (even though I’m the biggest scarty-cat). As I stepped up, Dunc grabbed my waist and pulled me back down, and flipped me so I was facing him. We looked at each other for a solid 20 seconds without saying anything and he just chuckled and smiled then said “why do I always fall for the crazy ones?”. Me, shook to the mother fucking bones, screamed. I was so shocked that I just didn’t know what to do, so I screamed. Like, this dude who I was talking to for 3 weeks tops just said he was falling for me. Like EXCUSE FUCKING ME! BOY! WTF SHUT UP! Then we walked downstairs and went home with everyone else. 

That was the first time I hung out with the ex that turned into my fwb for four straight years. The ex that I’m still madly in love with and never really got over. The ex that I still miss every day. The ex that I want a future with. The ex that I literally can’t picture my life without him in it. The ex that I literally slept with last week. THEE EX

I’ll tell ya’ll about our first kiss in a couple days (Honestly the cutest first kiss I’ve ever had except for when we ran into the boy that took my V Card that same night....)

See ya soon peeps

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Today has been a day filled to the brim with emotions that I’ve been trying to keep down for years really. I was driving while listening to my sad playlist (because for some reason when I’m sad I like to play emotional music to put myself in this even more sad bubble of complete emotional madness) and I realised while sitting there blank face that I don’t think I’ve cried in almost a year. Like what the actual fuck is wrong with me? Maybe instead of making this meaningless post on a dead social media platform, I should go to a fucking therapist.

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Hello I guess...

This is weird, but who the fuck cares. No offence, but Tumblr is just sort of cliche. Yeah, I know that makes me a cliche too, yet here we both still are. This is just going to be a safe place where I vent about my stupid feelings, the ex’s I still hook up with (oops), the midlife crisis that I’m having because turning 20 makes me feel like I’ve pretty much accomplished nothing, some pics of shit I’m doing and maybe some pictures of other shit too, and everything in between. If you know me in real life, please don’t fucking read this shit (unless you’re the ex that I’m still in love with, you can read this shit because I’m guessing over half of it will be about you anyway).

You want to know me a bit? Well, here’s some pointless (and not very interesting) facts about me and my life;

I live in Canada and have my entire life.

I’m in University, studying Politics Science (want some tea about that fact? Well, the ex that I’ m in love (the one I talked about not even two seconds ago) applied to the same school and program that I’m in for next year so basically just fuck me in the ass).

I have a lot of siblings, like seriously 6 of them (five sisters and a brother), no my parents aren’t Amish or anything they just got divorced and now were one phat family. That was so fucking cringy I’m truly sorry you had to read that.

Ouu one time I went through a bad break up (HOLY SHIT YES IT WAS THE SAME EX! YEAH I TOLD YOU THIS WILL CONSIST OF HIM A LOT), anyway as I was saying, I went through a bad break up and went on a complete sex bender and brought my body count up like 10 people oops

I had this best friend for 18 fricken years of my life (literally met her in daycare before my first birthday) and I don’t know why but I miss her and I felt like that needed to go here (because no one is reading this far anyway)(honestly, don’t think anyone read this at all but fuck it). 

What else do people say when they’re introducing themselves to strangers... I’m questioning my religion so that’s on my mind too. 

So I guess if you actually read that, it’s nice to meet you and I hope you stick around because I can always use some more friends. DM me if you want (do you call tumblr messages DM’s? idk I’m new here sorry). 

See you on the flip side (actually I’ll probably just see ya in the next post). 

OH SHIT, also my names Natalie