thedaughterspost-blog

[thedaughterspost-blog]

Chapter 1

Hi my name is Amanda (Due to Covid-19) I figured this is the time to truly self reflect and get to know myself better. I think it is best that I start at the beginning of my life that of which will help me solve this puzzle of misery and sadness. This short story I am writing no need to cretic as I don’t know how a real book is written and it is 2020 I can write how ever I want thank you…now please continue to read below.

Once upon a time haha no from what I remember as a child …..or from what I was told. My mother had left Jamaica to come to Canada to have a better life. That of which my older sister 10 years apart would always remind me that she was left behind. So in between all that my mother lived at various places but when I was born we were grounded in Etobicoke East bourne, that was when my story began in the basement of my godparents house. So where is my father you may be wondering? I am assuming he is in Jamaica still but my sister was now up in Canada considering she was the one who named me Amanda. You may ask how did I get that name well being on the playground my sister said that was the name she liked…Yes some white girls name how funny and very suiting for my life. But being a baby at this time I don’t have much memory because what I remember next was us living at Kipling.

Now in our apartment in Kipling(Toronto) my sister said she always had to drop me off to school and basically take care of me… she would constantly complain … and apparently I never ate much I wish that was still the case and my mom would always ask my sister did Amanda eat ! I guess that was annoying to my sister as I know I was the favourite child haha. But from those Junior kindergarten years I vaguely remember and I only have photos. But hey I may be 2 or 3 at this point I’m not doing the math… because then my dad is in the picture…and all is great I guess. In my little world all I can see are my dolls and my blanket houses that I would make. I didn’t play with my sister much my childhood was my imagination aka just toys.

But then I am a little older I have to go to grade one now…i remember having a crush on my neighbour who was in my class and at the time our school was brand new and was right beside our building so literally it was a quick walk home. But there was Angela no offence to anyone but she was a fat lady who took care of kids after school…and it is one of those places  that your parent probably knew this was a horrible place but had no choice. I remember it being dark and hot heavy air I can’t recall how long I was there for but felt like hours basically had to wait for my sister to come home from high school. This lady also lived down the hall from us so I get the convenience for my mother. I remember getting excited every time that door was opened knowing now how dogs feel.

So I guess this is where it starts to get real for me subconsciously , perhaps he saw something on tv because one of the little boys who was there with me basically kissed me or tried to act something out that he saw. It wasn’t anything extreme but I knew I felt that it was wrong. These things happen to us as kids right I’m thinking why am I so hard on myself for something I could not for-see. Why do I still carry that around with me when It wasn’t my fault , but that was probably the day I hated Angelas place. But needless to say I don’t think I was there for too long.

Most of all guys I loved my mother sooooo freaking much ! Then everything happened so fast.